I'm so sorry for your loss
I've had 2 ectopic pregnancies. My first was in my L tube which was removed back in June 05, and then the second was only three months later in September 05, and that was cornual (in the stump of what remained of the tube).
I have gone on to have two beautiful children in May 07 and Dec 08. Your single tube will now move from month to month from L to R ovary. My daughter was conceived with my R tube with an egg from my L ovary - absolutely amazing!
Best wishes. The pain does get easier, but the loss will always be raw. You will get through it though, I promise.
Here is my thread about my ectopic pregnancies - I hope it helps
PS - I found out that mine was due to an undiagnosed case of chlamydia. It causes PID (Pelvic Inflammatory Disease) that causes scarring to the tubes. Its a silent disease and I have absolutely no idea how long I had it for. It was treated with 2 tablets. Thats it. Please see your dr and ask for a test for chlamydia. I have no idea why it isn't mandatory for testing for chlamydia after an ectopic pregnancy, especially since over 50% of ectopics are due to chlamydia. Take care xx
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Results 11 to 20 of 53
21-06-2010 14:37 #11
21-06-2010 14:43 #12
21-06-2010 14:50 #13
FLICKER - I'm glad i'm not alone but not glad other people have gone through this horrible thing. I feel alone as no one understands ectopic pregnancies. They have so much info for miscarriages and nothing for ectopic even the hospital couldn't give me anything regarding ectopic, i got a grief pack which was lots of brochures on miscarriages and the nurse said i'm sorry it's about miscarriages we have nothing on ectopic, she even said it's wrong and has been trying to get some stuff about ectopic's.
The pain was awful, i was in a bad way when i got to hospital, they gave me morphine, done blood tests with difficulty as my veins were collapsing and then an ultrasound and took me to theatre. At one stage i couldnt breathe and the pain in my chest was really bad, apparently it was caused by the internal bleeding and my monitor was beeping because my heart rate was too high and so was my blood pressure, i heard them say get the crash cart and then they said charging now.....thank god they didnt need to use it. I was so scared.
I feel like i failed the baby too and keep thinking it's my fault. Yeah i hate not knowing why too.
The dr suggested if i still feel like this in a few weeks then i should see a counsellor. Talking about is does help, i dont want to talk to anyone other then the people on here about it and a few close friends.
21-06-2010 14:54 #14
I don't think that I've actually been able to say it right up until now! It's always been the way I felt but I really didn't think it would come across right or that anyone would understand, so thankyou for understanding!
I didn't look up any information for probably about a year as I just didn't want to think about it. I think bubhub was the only place I really read anything about it. It was really when I started thinking I could deal with trying again that I wanted to understand what had happened last time.
Falling pregnant with ds1 wasn't easy for us and when we decided to try for #2 we fell pregnant on the first cycle. It was amazing and unbelievable and then to lose the baby was gut wrenching. It just seemed life was so totally unfair to get my hopes up like that and then take it all away.
I hope when you are ready to try again that you don't have to try for long. I am truely grateful that it happenned quickly for us as I was so worried about the one side working thing! My cycle got back on track really quickly though. What I noticed was one month the bleed would be lighter and the next heavier. I assumed the heavy month was the one I was actually ovulating.
If I can give any advice it would be don't let the "high risk" stuff worry you!! I was SO worried about it, it's part of what kept me from trying for so long. Then I fell pregnant and the first thing I did when I showed dh the was bawl because I was so scared. My gp sent me straight for an early scan to make sure it was 'in the right place'. Beyond that happening I've had basically nothing different happen than my first pregnancy. I kept asking people (gp, midwives, OB) when these extra scans, extra tests, extra worry would kick in and was told by everyone it was fine! After the ectopic op I'd been lead to believe it would be so scary and full on and I'd have to have all my appointments with the obs etc. The Ob I saw at 16 weeks (my first visit with one through the public hospital) was happy for me to have midwife care.
At my 20 week scan they saw the placenta was growing where my surgery was (which was apparently going to be a big concern) but I didn't get any follow up to it. I had to actually ask the hospital to see a Dr to find out what that meant. She sent me for an extra scan at around 26 weeks to check bubs growth and make sure the placenta wasn't growing too far into the lining of the uterus where the scar was. Everything was fine.
I do have to have a c/s (and when I say 'have to' I suppose I could argue the point but have chosen not to) because of the risk of rupture during labour where the corner of my uterus was removed and I now have a scar. If your surgery didn't involve the uterus I don't see why this would be the case?.. But again, I'm not a dr!
If I were you I'd also be writing to the hospital to ask about the ovary, hearing a different story every time is just not good enough! It should be clearly written in your file and somehow writing seems to work better than just asking drs who just want to rush you out of there.
Flicker, thankyou for the congrats, I hope it happens quickly for you too!
I'm happy to chat to anyone if you need a chat or there's any questions I might be able to help with.
21-06-2010 14:56 #15
It hurts so much. I remember crying at Huggies ads on tv! You still have all the hormones from pregnancy, but no baby for it. And an ectopic is even worse than a miscarriage (IMO) because technically, you've signed the dotted line for someone to take away your baby (that is if it hasn't ruptured already). The physical pain is astonishing - my ruptured ectopic hurt more than my VBAC did.
Take all the time you need. I was let go from work (was in my probation period) and to be honest, it was actually a blessing. I took about a month or so before I tried to join the world again. The guilt I felt when I found out that it was my fault for getting chlamydia almost killed me. I felt absolutely terrible.
But it lifts. And it goes. And the cloud and the fog dissipates and everything becomes clearer. You'll always have those little scars from the surgery, and every time you fall pregnant, or are even late on AF you'll freak out and it will take you back to that moment that you lost your baby... but it will be okay. Eventually. For me, it is 5yrs on Friday since I lost my first baby, and that pain never goes. But the time inbetween crying lengthens. And the sadness doesn't hurt so much. I know its a horrible cliche, but give it some time. xx
21-06-2010 15:13 #16
So glad to see your input MilkOnTap, your story really helped me after my ectopic.I hadn't heard about the risk due to Chlamydia until you said so and made sure I was checked for it (came back all clear, I guess sometimes it really just happens for no reason).
It's so easy to blame ourselves and our bodies, but it's not our fault, and there was nothing we could do. Reproduction is a complex thing, and sometimes it just doesn't all fall into place the way it 'should'. I had one dr at the time rave on and ON about my weight which I did not need to hear at that time (being overweight doesn't cause ectopic pregnancies!!). They'd just taken my baby away, and I was in hospital alone when I should have been celebrating my 30th birthday. AND it was my first time away from my son overnight. Another dr was fantastic, when I started crying he said "this is not your fault, there was nothing you could have done to change it", I just had to let myself hear his words over and over again.
21-06-2010 16:06 #17
you ladies are amazing and i really feel i can relate. I think miscarriages must be awful too. it is a fear of mine that if we concieve that i will have to go through more.... but i think it is one step at a time.
it is not your fault. it just happens. if we keep looking at the whys, it is hard to move forward.
um..can you get chlymidia if you have both only ever slept with each other?? i had no idea about it, but getting tested after an ectopic would be a sensible standard procedure?
i knew so little about the real danger of ectopics before i had mine. and i had a friend that had gone through two! I thought it was like a miscarriage and had no idea how scary it is.
eboniesmum- hearing that they got the crash cart ready sends shivers up my spine i think it is important for you to talk to someone too. look after yourself sweet heart. we are all here for you!
22-06-2010 08:49 #18
Yeah that would be gut wrenching falling on the first cycle only to lose it. I think another reason this ectopic has affected me so much is because it is so hard for me to get pregnant. Life is unfair. I keep worrying about only having one working side too but after reading the reply's on here i dont think i need to worry so much anymore so thankyou everyone. I hope my cycle gets back on track asap and i fall quickly. The high risk stuff isn't worrying me too much, i think i will be the one begging them to keep checking my baby just to make sure it's all ok. I think i'll chose a c-section just because it would ease my mind, maybe if i have another bub after that i will be ready to try and deliver naturally. I really have no idea what my surgery involved, i was told nothing. So i'm not sure if part of my uterus was taken or not. Apparently there should have been an operation report that the nurses and other dr's could have looked at to tell me what was done. Maybe i will write to the hospital.
thankyou to everyone for all your stories about your experiences and all your support.
17-07-2010 11:53 #19Member
- Join Date
- May 2010
- Lake Macquarie
I was wondering if you wouldn't mind giving me any advice you feel happy/comfortabe with. I recently (june 8th) had a cornual eptopic pregnancy removed before rupture occurred via laparotomy (due to dense pelvic adhesions). My IVF specialist who performed the op has advised me it is too risky for me to have another pregnancy, mainly because of uterine rupture due to the resection in the uterus but also due to my adhesions making emergency procedures very hard. Did you have any probs with this pregnancy after your resection? Its really hard to find any info about pregnancy after this procedure. I am going to consult with my obstetrician who delivered my son to get another perspective on it but my specialist is so adamant on this. Was you given the same advice? Did you seek further opinion on it? Sorry to bombard you but I feel at such a loss. I am not coping too well with losing a pregnancy and being told not to have anymore so any advice will be greatly appreciated.
I wish you all the best with your new bub.
Many thanks XX
17-07-2010 16:13 #20
Ploddypop, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. To have to go through that and at the same time be told you can't try again down the track must be truely heartbreaking for you.
I'm very happy to give any advice I can. I also had mine removed via laparotomy. They started doing a laparoscopy and saw that the position of the pregnancy made it too dangerous to proceed with that operation due to a risk of bleeding.
I have to say I wasn't given a great deal of information on what had happenned. I went through the public system and the dr that operated was a woman with absolutely no bedside manner and seemed to think it was more important to ramble on about my wieght than what was actually happenning to me (wieght does not cause ectopic pregnancies!). She was talking about it before they knocked me out and rather than inform me on the procedure and what I should be doing in the future before I left hospital, she decided to refer me to the dietician instead!
I was told that if I had any future pregnancies I would be in the 'high risk' category due to the scar on my uterus. I was also told I would need a c/section to avoid the risk of rupture during labour. I'm sorry to say I hadn't even heard the term 'resection' until you wrote it! Even on an ectopic support site I found it very hard to find information on Cornual Ectopics. It wasn't until the sonographer at the start of this pregnancy said to me "did they tell you they were very rare and very dangerous?" that I went looking again for more info and read the scary statistics compared to a normal ectopic pregnancy!
I don't know anything about pelvic adhesions, can you tell me what they are?..
Maybe my complete lack of information made me go ahead and fall pregnant again. I wasn't ever told not to, just not to right away, to lose wieght, and it would be 'high risk'. I haven't had any problems due to the ectopic this pregnancy. I haven't had any problems at all besides this little boy being alot more rough with my pelvis than his big brother was!! I didn't even need to see an OB at every antenatal visit, they were happy for me to have normal visits with the midwives. The only extra thing I had was a scan as soon as I found out I was pregnant to make sure it was 'in the right spot', and I did have another scan to check the placenta at around 27 weeks as the 20 week scan showed it was positioned where my scar is and then there is a concern it will grow too deeply into the uterus lining.
My c/s is booked for just under 2 weeks time. I could have fought it and the procedure would have been similar to a vbac, but the OB that saw me at 16 weeks explained the differences in previous c/s and having had this op and I decided I was happy to have the c/s.
If I were you I would seek a second opinion. As women we do amazing things and our bodies do amazing things. Please feel free to ask anything you'd like and pm me if you'd rather.
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