I thought I'd join you all in here after spending the morning in tears... Dh just flew out to live (yes live) in nt (I'm in Perth)... The RAAF have posted him there and unfortunately due to his contract he can't get out ATM... So not only do I have to deal with him working away from me and my 23mth old, but I'm also pregnant and due in June... To top it all off, we have no idea when he will be allowed to fly back to visit so could be anywhere up to 14months away. I'm going crazy!!! It's not the working away bit, I can deal with that, it's not knowing when he will be back, even just for a visit
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08-01-2011 13:34 #51
08-01-2011 22:39 #52Junior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2010
Hi, I am new in here too.
Cookie, how horrendous?! I feel for you. The not knowing is awful. I hope you know something sooner rather than later.
I am mum to DD 2 and 1/2, and number 2 is due in 4 weeks. My DP works in the oil industry and is currently in PNG (has been for 5 weeks) and is due back in 2 weeks. DD arrived a few days after her due date, I am hoping that #2 will do the same! As DP contracts we are not sure when he will be off again.
I am grateful to find this thread as I do not know anyone else who lives their life as we do and others really do not understand the difficulties of this situation.
I look forward to checking in here to share and learn.
Take care, Lee
14-02-2011 23:56 #53
I'm a new FIFO widow of a different kind ... I used to work it, but getting a little fat around the middle to continue
This is my 2nd swing of being home alone and I'll give you the tip ... its taking a bit of getting used to I met DP onsite and have always worked away with him. I think 2 weeks away is bad enough - don't know how you ladies deal with 3 and 4 weeks plus!!!
Thermolicious .. I know Leister quite well! I used to work 40km north of there (funnily enough as a Metallurgist) and DP is from Leonora (with family in Leinster too)
BTW ... Happy Valentines Day
15-02-2011 19:19 #54
Hi ladies! I need a space to chat! My hubby just accepted a new job in Kalgoorlie (I'm in brisbane) and is FIFO 7/3 7/4 so I will only get to see him on his 4 days off cos it's too far to come back on the 3 days! Its only until may but We only found out he had the job last Wednesday and then he got told he had to drive there!!! So across the nullarbor he went! Finally he got there last night after 3 days of driving and he started today! Poor thing is so tired!
I cried for 3 days but now I'm coming o terms with it. We have a 4 month old so I'm just getting into a routine with her and she definitely keeps me busy! I see him next in about 3 weeks
They are goin to try send him o Qld after this contract so he's a little closer!
Bub is in bed, house tidy... I'm bored! Any tips???
16-02-2011 06:55 #55-
- Join Date
- Dec 2009
Aw hon, its a hard life, DH does 28/28 but he's international. I dont know how I would deal with him only being home for 4 days out of 3 weeks though. YOu will find it really hard and so will he. You both just have to think that a few years of this and you will set yourself up for life. Just dont go splashing that cash. INVEST INVEST INVEST!!!
Why did they make him drive there? That seems strange to me. Are you guys paying for his flights back to Brisbane on the 4 day break?
Also something to keep in mind is the effect he will have on your 'routine' when he comes home. Its the hardest thing for us wives left at home to deal with, your life goes from being all planned out and everything in its place, dd is in a routine and its working well then cyclone daddy comes home and messes everything up which you will most probably have to pick up the pieces from when he's gone back to work. Its a PITA but if you are mindful of it then you should be able to stop any resentment forming. Oh and make sure you have an hour or so you ME time when he's home. Get a haircut, or manicure, or catch up with a friend for lunch, leave dd for some bonding time with dh and enjoy a little bit of freedom.
Make sure you also talk about Dadda to DD and maybe put up some pics of him in her room so she doesnt 'forget' him. Dh's brother used to work in the mines and he knew it was time to stop when he came home and his dd's would run and hide from the 'scary stranger'. My ds has just turned 1 and talking about Dadda and looking at pics is great for him, I look forward to when he's a little bit older to and can understand the countdown....
Good luck and remember that the money is great but if its effecting you, dd, dh and the relationships you have with each other then a job at home could be better for you guys..... who knows!!!!
Good luck and pm me if your ever in a mess and need some advice or just to talk.
16-02-2011 10:10 #56
Gosh that must be hard!
I'm so glad we have a good roster, he flies out early on a Wednesday morning and is home in time for dinner the following Wed night (8 days work, 6 home). I get grumpy and tired enough by day 5, I couldn't handle him being gone for weeks!!
I totally agree that they mess up the routine lol. I find it difficult because he walks in and I expect help straight away but he takes a day or two to settle back in to family life.
BUT he loves his job, he can't really do it anyway except a minesite so we accept that this is our life. And it means that I can be home with the kids while they are young (which is really important for me) and also we are making lots of extra payments on our mortgage
I also love that he gets 6 days per fortnight with me and the kids, many dads I know get an hour or so in the evening then Sunday...
16-02-2011 10:11 #57
Oh, and don't forget even little babies like to listen to Dad's voice on the phone
22-02-2011 14:34 #58
I am now craving a LAKSA.. YUMMMMMMMMMY!
I agree with talking on the phone. I always have the phone on speaker when DH and I talk so the kids can hear and talk back too. It is like having a conference call. It gets easier over time. I am so used to it, sometimes it's not right if he hasn't gone away for a little while.
DH just got back.. YAY!
22-02-2011 14:42 #59
22-02-2011 15:18 #60-
- Join Date
- Dec 2009
YAY!!! My Dh is due home on Saturday. He's only been home for 2 weeks since Nov 30th!!!! It feels like he's been gone for months and months!!! But we have NOTHING on this break so YAY!!!! Booked myself in for some time at the spa on Friday while ds in daycare so I'll be all sparkly when he gets home!!! Bring it ON!!!
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