you guys are all so strong, DH is FIFO to barrow island atm and i never know when hes coming home, its never earlier then every 4 weeks but sometimes its 6-8 and hes only home for 5 days with two whole days travelling (we are in brissie)
i hate it, we are constantly fighting now. i really want another bub but cant imagine doing it without him here,
im opening a salon though, that will keep my mind off it, and we wouldnt be able to do that without him and this job but grr just over it.
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30-09-2010 07:18 #41
25-10-2010 00:22 #42Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2009
hello fellow fifo sahm's ;)
I'm brand spanking new to the whole SAHM/ FIFO thing!! I've just moved back home to Brisbane 4 months ago for the birth of my son after 3 VERY LONG YEARS living residentially in a Pilbara mining town. My husby is a Mechanical Engineer working for RIO on a 9day on/5day off roster and I now have the glorious responsibilty of holding up the home front as CEO of our household lol.... I'm not new to the mining game but the whole FIFO culture has really got me chasing my tale!!!
I would love to hear handy hints from other mummies on how they work things in their families because I'm truely struggling....
I'm starting to get resentful because I get into a good routine when my husby is away (with my 4 month old and 2 older boys from a previous marriage) but when he comes home, I feel like he treats it as a holiday rather than quality home time. He seems more interested in how many leisurely things he can fit into his days rather than spending at least some time doing life/chore things (you know the old "to do list"). Given he really only has 4 days at home due to travel on his last day, it's hard to fit in his wants/needs plus mine. I feel selfish even thinking this way though because he is sacrificing so much so I can stay at home with our baby and get ahead financially at the same time...... ok after that long speil I really would love advice/ideas on how others deal with these types of issues???? Does anyone find a good balance or do you just let everything go out the window for the time your husbands have at home? ok I guess I've blabbed enough for now!!! Would love to hear back from fellow fifo families, it's great to find a group of people going through the same types of issues
25-10-2010 20:50 #43-
- Join Date
- Dec 2009
I give DH 2 days off when he gets home and then its into it, though he refuses to do any washing, GRRRRRR!! On your DH's roster 2 days would be a little much I guess but defo give him 1. Another good thing to do is on day 3, go and do something for yourself, hair cut, massage, etc get some time out of the grind and just for you.
Honestly there is no solution as men will be men and women will be women you just gotta work it out to what ever suits you both.
17-11-2010 05:34 #44
new to this thread.
DH has just taken a job 2 wks on 2 wks off so its a decent amount of time off and back home with us however all of his mates that do it all their partners all SAHM so can spend time with them when they are at home.
i work full time so will only see him on the weekends and after i finish for the day.
we are just going to see how it goes for the first few stints and take it from there.
fingers are crossed that DS behaves himself.
17-11-2010 11:23 #45
I am new to this thread too.
DH works away Australia wide and is currently in Karratha this is day number 20 that he has been away and I have to wait another week to see him.
He doesn't always go away and sometimes when he does it is for a day or maybe a week or sometimes a month.
It depends on the work that needs to be done. He works in Mines/Refineries & rigs.
I have 2 kids and when at home for long periods by myself I feel like I go crazy & sometimes like I am a bad mum for wanting to get away from my children for 5 minutes.
I am a SAHM and have been for 3 years. I have tried hard to get casual work but because i NEVER know when DH will be home I can't work weekends or after childcare hours..
Family - I prefer not to ask them for help as I hear the gossip they talk about other family members and I don't want to be spoken about like I am an incompetent mother that can’t cope and needs her kids looked after.
I get to a point where I forget how to talk to other adults as I have been with the kids doing kiddie stuff all day, every day.
I enjoy coffee breaks & getting out talking to others but sometimes it can’t happen as kids don’t allow it or it’s never the right time.
Sorry this is long..
If you are another Mum who likes to chat about anything feel free to PM me
17-11-2010 17:12 #46
yeah its hard with kids just to sit down and have time out to yourself and a coffee break with a mate.
my problem is on the weekends when i want to fill in my time cause DS is driving me nuts all my mates have their hubbies at home so are busy doing family stuff.
i have the help of mil 2 nights per week. which is good.
think its just a matter of keeping busy to fill in the time.
i struggle to think of things for my ds to do as he is only 1 so playcentres dont really do much for him and even a trip to the park he really only likes swings and thats limited to about 5mins.
tried walking him in pram but as he is learning to walk he just wants to get out of the pram or stand in the pram which can be a little frustrating sometimes.
17-11-2010 18:25 #47
I'm in Perth, and my DH is a project manager, currently working 4/3, with a 7/7 every fifth week.
I must admit, I don't mind the 'me' time I'm lucky that his roster is pretty good, so I don't really have time to miss him too much. I quite like eating what I want for dinner and watching what I want on TV My kids are old enough now, (5,3 and 2) that I can manage quite well, and when he is home they just want him, so he gets to take DD1 to school etc. which is great for all of us.
We had to move to Perth from Queensland though, and I'm struggling without a support base around me Example, I had to take 2 sick kids to school to pick up DD1 last week, and they both fell asleep in the car. Luckily I rang the school and the deputy principal walked her out to the car for me. But that is definitely the hardest part for me. No back up at all.
Hope to chat with you all soon
17-11-2010 19:20 #48
pinacolada - yep DH got offered a job over in WA but for us to get anytime together i would had to of moved to Perth to make it worthwhile. i thought about it for awhile but thought id get no help or any support as i know nobody over there. luckily the job in Qld turned up so got to stay in Brissie or the job is only a 4hour drive away.
this is only my 2nd night and im already dreading it. it was meant to be 1 week one for the first rotation but now it looks like it will be 2.
a couple of nights on and then off would be good. i dont mind the me time for about 4-5 nights then i get over it and get abit bored more than anything.
18-11-2010 02:47 #49
I like the me time as well but after 1 night of it I end up wanting him back.
It's times like now that I need him.
DD has been awake for 2 hours now (it's 3am) and DS has woken up & won't go back into bed. I can't say anything louder than a whisper as I am trying to get DD back to sleep.
bbkb - I know what you mean about finding things to do. It's hard.. I usually get ideas off of other mums. The library has a few things a week you can do like story-time and crafts (it's free).
Swimming lessons are also a great one to do but can be expensive.
Friends who have their husbands home, yep I know this one as well.
It would just be good to have adult conversations & time.
Our good friends, well W used to work with my husband & his wife used to understand the whole going away part. But W quit his job because wife missed him too much ( it took her almost 2 years to realize this ) - they don't have kids & she hardly spends time with him anyway. So now DH is away twice as long making up for the extra work.. Its sad and annoying because W BEGGED DH for this job only to quit. Arghhh.....
Today has been a grumpy day.. I don't like being so grumpy & on edge. DH got told he could be back on Friday but whenever we get told that, it's usually longer.
Ahhh back to bed now, thank goodness for the iPhone!
18-11-2010 18:52 #50
oh i hope he doesnt stay longer.
isnt it great when they wake in the wee hours of the morning and wont go back to sleep. im having that problem with DS at the moment. he wakes at like 2am or something only to be given a bottle to go back to sleep cause ive given up trying to settle without one and then he starts the day so early like 4am at the moment. makes a tiring day.
most of the activities at our local library are aimed at SAHM as they are all through the week when i work. not much on weekends. also found there are a few groups up here that meet that have partners work away once again all through the week.
hope u managed to get some sleep.
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