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  1. #511
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    -Tahli, the main reasons we don't feel PC is for us is because the parents haven't relinquished their children, they were removed. We were told it was a lot more emotionally challenging than adoption. We were also told there a more frequent parent visits whereas adoption was up to 4 per year. You also aren't given parental rights in the same way as adoption, which is important to us.

    I'm open to education on this if people have had different experiences with PC - we're just going off what we've been told from social workers and friends who have adopted.

    DH and I aren't ruling out PC altogether though, we want to play adoption out first though.

  2. #512
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    Thanks for sharing Saffronsunshine

  3. #513
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    Hi everyone,

    Another long time reader, first time poster! It's been great to read all your stories and be in the company of people in the same situation as us.

    My DH and I did 9 IVF cycles before deciding to follow the adoption path. It has been a long and lonely process but we have just recently been approved to go on the waiting list!! (We are in Victoria)

    Reading all your stories has been a great help to us over the journey so I just wanted to drop in and contribute to the conversation in the hope of helping others that are maybe in the early stages and not sure what to expect.

    We attended our information session in June 2015 with the training sessions to follow 2 months later, which was all very informative.

    A month or so after completing the training sessions we were given our application pack which included all the paperwork and life story details. We were most daunted by the thought of writing our life stories but knew if we wanted to be parents then it was just something that had to be done. We got into a routine of spending one night a week working on our life story and it became less and less daunting as we ticked off each question. We had no idea how long our life story was meant to be, but were told as a guide about 20 pages! I know this sounds like a lot but at the end I actually had 25 typed pages while my DH had 13. I think I waffled on a bit too much! But in the end, the more the social workers know about you the less they will have to find out during the interview process. We were told our life stories were very thorough so it just made their job easier!

    We got all our paperwork and life story in by March 2016 and then confirmation of the completion of our application in May (as they were waiting on reference letters from our friends and family. We should have organised these earlier to speed up the process). We were then told the wait would be about 3 months to be allocated a social worker. We waited 5 months and were actually allocated 2 social workers who then organised the interviews. We were told they were working towards a panel date in December which was very exciting!

    We had 3 interviews at our house plus a separate interview each. Our panel date got put back to February which was a bit disappointing as they just couldn't get everything done they needed to before panel. And then having Christmas in between didn't help.

    Our February panel date quickly came around but we still didn't have confirmation. I rang our social worker who informed us they had had some cases which had taken priority over ours (permanent care situations I think). So again we would have to wait! Another date was set for April and this time it was for real. We were excited but so nervous when the day finally came. It was over fairly quickly and a phone call 30 minutes later confirmed we had been approved. We were over the moon and couldn't believe the moment had finally arrived! After all the hard work and determination we had finally reached the end and we now have the chance to become parents! I'm so looking forward to hopefully receiving 'the call' in the near future and we'll finally be able to start the journey into parenthood!

    I wish you all the best, whatever stage you are in your journeys. It's a long road but if I can give one piece of advice , it's to be patient and just go with the flow. There will be setbacks along the way but you will get there in the end 😊

    Hopefulstar

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    Mave  (19-05-2017)

  5. #514
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    Default Local Infant Adoption in Victoria

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    Last edited by ShannyAnny; 15-05-2017 at 21:11. Reason: Duplicate

  6. #515
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    @Hopefulstar thanks for joining in. It's great that this thread has become active again. What an exciting time for you guys after a long journey. It must be a strange feeling knowing you could get "the call" at any time

  7. #516
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    Wow Hopefulstar! Congratulations!! I can imagine you're over the moon with the thought that it could now be anytime!!

  8. #517
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    Wow Hopeful Star! Thanks so much for sharing. It is daunting that it could take up to two years. I've sent off all my paperwork for the training days and am just waiting for an invite. It's been great to hear of people's timelines though and get a realistic indication. When we asked at the info night, they said we could be approved in a year (best case scenario) but "it was very hard to say" for timelines.

    You'll have to keep us updated! Praying that your little one will make his or her way to your arms soon x

    Quick update from me - Mothers Day I shared the news that with DH's family about pursuing the next stages of adoption and I couldn't have guessed their reactions! We'd been mentioning it last year as something we were thinking of doing, and they were quite supportive and encouraging at the time. Now that we are in the actual process, their reactions couldn't be more different.

    MIL: but you'll have your own kids, right?
    ME: he or she will be my "own kid"
    DIL: you know you won't bond with that baby as you would if you had grown it in your stomach
    ME: *shock, awe* ??
    What I wanted to say: oh, is that right. Remind me, how many children have you adopted?
    What I actually said: I've heard from people that have both biological and non-bio children that they formed an equal bond with both.
    DIL: *shaking his head, sighing*

    Anyway, the convo went a little bit like that and when DH told his nan about the adoption first words were to look at me and say "What? Why? Is something wrong??"

    Let's not forget that when I said "Happy Mothers Day" to her I got "We can't say that to you now, can we?" With a disapproving look.

    I didn't get the guts to tell my mum because she was raving about tracking our genealogy online and discovering that we have twins in every generation and I'll most likely have twins. She seemed so excited. I'm starting to think she'll be the supportive one?

    Good thing this is such a long process cos I'm going to need the time to educate them!

    I would love to hear other people's own experience with families and in-laws?

  9. #518
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    Default Local Infant Adoption in Victoria

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  10. #519
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    OMG @Saffronsunshine !! I am lost for words! What is wrong with people! And the Mother's Day remark from Nan - I would have been in tears. I too have had some unsupportive responses but that has been from my PhD supervisor (couldn't care less what he thinks) and also from my GP which I think was pretty unprofessional. GP pretty much warned me that if we did pc then we would probably end up divorced. I don't have parents but my two brothers and my SIL are absolutely supportive 100% and after seeing the heartbreak we have gone through the last 6 years are very encouraging of this new path. Their response to all of this has warmed my heart. My parents in law didn't react badly but weren't as excited. I think they were a little bit shocked and I sensed from FIL that he was worried that I was pushing this idea on to DH. We haven't discussed it with them too much since but I know they will support us whatever we decide. I have told one friend who has also been very supportive. There are a few extended family members who could very well upset me with their responses and so I am not going to tell them until we get placed as I don't need negativity at the moment.

  11. #520
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    Wow Saffronsunshine, can't believe that! It's amazing how unsupportive people can be! When I first told my mum that we are looking into it, she asked why with a sour look on her face. While it got me down I had lunch with a friend a couple of days later and when I told her she gave me the biggest hug and told me she was so excited for us, hopefully more people react like this!!

    We finally got our invite to an info session for PC and are going in July.

    Quick question for those that have done the training sessions, how do you get invited to these? Do you sign up after the info session?


 

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