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  1. #491
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    Quote Originally Posted by Munchkin19 View Post
    Hi everyone,

    Thanks so much for replying. It's amazing what a few messages from people can do to bolster your confidence and make you feel less alone!! So thanks again!

    We attended the adoption information session and will be registering for the PC one tomorrow, being a PH today no departments will be open! I have to say my partner and I walked away feeling much more positive and at ease after the session. We certainly got a lot out of it, and we felt much more comfortable in us not having to have gone through IVF/surrogacy before proceeding. It's going to be a process now just going through the application process (the paperwork is gob smacking), dotting all of our i's and crossing our t's.

    The only thing we had a question that went unanswered was regarding proving the two year de-facto relationship. We've been living together for coming up to a year, but it's only been over the last 5 months that we started to merge everything as joint ( eg. bank accounts, changing super beneficiaries to each other). We couldn't really get an answer regarding when the time would be considered ''the start" - i.e. from the time we first started to merge together officially, or from the date we moved in together; it was suggested that we contact the department and see if they're willing to take a Stat. Dec from us/family stating when we moved in together, or when my partner and I started receiving mail at our home address. This will end up forming when we can place in the application, which will be in the best case scenario, in about 15 months.

    Anyway, taking away the above bureaucratic stuff, we're very much looking forward to the next steps. The stats were amazing though - currently 37 approved couples, and between 15-25 infants were available for adoption in the last financial year. Of course availability does not mean anything, because it all depends on the matching between bubs and the adoptive family, so it's really a case of pot luck and hoping to God that it's your time!

    How is everyone else going? How did you find the info sessions, both for adoption and PC? What drastic differences are there in regards to visitations with birth parents and court orders etc? It was eluded to briefly yesterday, but would be good to get someone's perspective who has heard it already!

    Thanks again ladies and gents. You're all gems... and warriors!!

    Munchkin
    Hey Munchkin19... not sure if you got a response to this from my scrolling through, & see you're about to do the PC info session this month, so you may have already figured it out - but in regards to Adoption vs PC... no real difference with birth families visitation rights... courts can rule up to 4 contact visits per year for both... of course every situation is very unique & can vary... eg. Birth parents may have the right but not exercise it, some 'contact' may be a letter instead of a visit....
    The court orders are quite different at the beginning for both (I'm still getting my head around this & can't quote you the exact court order names)
    For adoption, you are granted some type of guardianship, and somewhere after the 12mth mark you apply to the courts for an adoption order, whereby the child's birth certificate is changed listing you as the parents (although there is a push currently for this legislation to change so that you are 'added' to the birth certificate & the birth parents name also remain)
    For PC... the manager of your agency actually holds guardianship of the child in your care (& I think you have some type of care order), & after the 12mth mark, you apply for the permanent care order.

    I'm certainly open to correction & correct terminology on this from anyone else on here with more knowledge & experience, but hope this gives you a bit better of an idea

  2. #492
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    Thanks so much for the welcome and all the information Mave!
    Have you completed the process for adoption or/and PC?

  3. #493
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    Morning Tahli B, & you're very welcome!

    Almost... we are looking at mid June for our panel interview for final approval (for both, adoption & PC), so we are very close now.

    Just a question... has everyone joined Permanent Care and Adoption Families?
    They have a FB page & a website & membership is free. (Via the website)
    They are an NGO not for profit org who run some really good classes, & they organise 'mothers' group & PC&A parents & children get together just to name a few.
    You can join before being approved.

  4. #494
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    I haven't joined but I follow the page

    How have you found the process?

  5. #495
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    I've found the process very educational & I've definitely had some personal growth throughout it... really explored some of those deeply embedded morals, feelings, past experiences etc

    I think as a 7year IVF veteran, the waiting, the repetition of paperwork & questions & the unknowns... well, I'm highly trained for so haven't really struggled through that part - plus it's a bonus that we're getting through on the faster side from what I hear of others experience

  6. #496
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    Hi guys looks like there are some new members since I last read this post! I'm still waiting for my next step - initial paperwork and interview were completed a while ago. Next interviews likely to commence in July, and training days are in August. They're giving a ball park of probably January until process complete to the stage where I get approved, so still quite a long journey! I'm now feeling like buying the pram and emptying a bedroom for the baby might have been jumping ahead lol but thank god I stopped myself and didn't buy the cot just yet!
    I find this poem so relevant to our situations... (if the attachment works!)
    IMG_1494406581.765079.jpg

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to Me2017 For This Useful Post:

    Munchkin19  (11-05-2017)

  8. #497
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    I know what you mean Me2017... it's hard to not get too far ahead of yourself, but you really don't know what exactly you're preparing for or for when.... particularly when you're still working through the process of approval.
    & often other applications can take priority over yours & bump your timeline out a bit further...
    We emptied a bedroom too, but that's as far as I'd let myself go, but certainly made myself feel better about taking some pressure off in regards to all the things you need to get & do when that call finally comes

    Nice poem x

  9. #498
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    Sorry Me2017... I'm in Vic & just realised you're NSW, so obviously some differences there in the process....
    Either way, you'll look back at the end of this & be wowed at how quick the time actually went, even though now it feels like it's so far away

  10. #499
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    Hi everyone,

    Apologies about going to quiet! It has been all happening all at once. Jeeze!! Sooooo.... Mave thanks for asking about the foster care agency - the paperwork never arrived, however we did speak to the agency and they organised a home visit with us to go through initial paperwork, which occurred on Tuesday evening - very quick turnaround. They seemed lovely, we got the police check started and the rest of the paperwork. The training sessions are this coming Saturday and the 20th! Eeeeeep!!

    As for the permanent care - we had the information session last night, and at present we're letting it digest with us. The big thing for us, is that I may need to relocate states for work - permanent care isn't recognised in other states, so enrolling our potential child into school, accessing healthcare, and other big decisions in the same vein are going to be quite difficult if it were to occur. The contact doesn't worry us - we're glad it is a possibility, so long as it is deemed safe and in the child's best interest. I like the amount of support that the Department offers both the birth parents and permanent care parents too.

    Regardless of the above, we can't make any decision even if we wanted to now anyway, because we have to have been de-facto for at least two years and we're not there yet. It looks like fostering is our option at the moment, and we're OK with that. The agency and the PC people had indicated that there were possibilities of applying for permanent care for a child whom you are fostering, but I didn't ask about adoption. I must do that on Saturday.

    We've found a lovely secondhand convertible cot and a change table set on Gumtree - we'll be inspecting that after the foster care info session, and hopefully be picking it up.

    How is everyone going? I have been thinking of you all and have been hoping you're one small step closer to the finish line!!

    Munchkin.

  11. #500
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    Wow! I can imagine all the excitement of wanting to run out and buy all the baby stuff. I attended the info night for Adoption tonight and I already want to set up a nursery.

    It was a 3 hour drive there and 3 hours on the way back but it was really worth it. They said only 11 adoptions were finalised in 2016 and there were at least 20 couples in the room... I think a lot of people were considering Perm Care after the stats. But I'm hopeful - perm care doesn't suit our situation and I'm realistic that it could be several years before I'm a mama. I'm in this for the long haul and willing to wait it out.

    Just a quick update - but I've been keeping up with all the comments. It's so great being able to share this journey with others!


 

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