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  1. #461
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    Hi Me!

    37 was the total for Victoria - matches are made by a combination of factors. Preferences of the birth parents, the couple/family being chosen, financial factors, location may also play a part (I.e. birth parents may be rural VIC but potential adoptive parents are in metro Melb and don't want to travel for contact visits).

    It's going to have different nuances between states, particularly legislation and other legal processes.

    Cheers,
    Munchkin

  2. #462
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    Default Finally joining in 🙂

    Hello all!

    I stumbled on this thread mid-last year and read the entire thing in a few hours. What an amazing journey so many of you have had! I've creeped on this board ever since, but finally am joining in.

    Munchkin, my story is very similar to yours - I'm late 20s, diagnosed with PCOS and at this stage don't want to go down the IVF route. I've wanted to adopt since I was young, I come from a mixed family, and the time is finally right to explore it! I registered my interest in an adoption info meeting late Feb and haven't received an invite yet. I'm very much looking forward to it.

    I was wondering if anyone had any experience with parents or in-laws being cold towards the idea of adoption? I've never discussed my fertility with family but my mum has always expressed she wants her grandchildren to look like her and when I've brought up adoption in the past my mum says "No, you'll want your own children." - which is hugely frustrating. Did anyone else experience anything like this and once the child was in your arms, they were completely converted?

    I look forward to sharing this adventure with you all!

  3. #463
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saffronsunshine View Post

    I was wondering if anyone had any experience with parents or in-laws being cold towards the idea of adoption? I've never discussed my fertility with family but my mum has always expressed she wants her grandchildren to look like her and when I've brought up adoption in the past my mum says "No, you'll want your own children." - which is hugely frustrating. Did anyone else experience anything like this and once the child was in your arms, they were completely converted?

    I look forward to sharing this adventure with you all!
    SS that's tough. I guess it's about keeping yr mum informed. You have had the opportunity to grieve about the effects of PCOS on your life and move on towards adoption, but your mum hasn't yet. I would really try to emphasize to her how much this means to you, and how important her support is to you. She may have a lot of ideas or experiences of adoption in the 50s-70s and it is a very different thing these days. I would take her through the materials, get her to do readings and try to get her invested in the process from Day 1. Planning how she can be involved in your child's life might be a way of doing that. Honestly once you have a child home the last thing you will want is for him/her to sense negativity from yr mum. In a vulnerable child that could be really damaging.

    sadly I do know people that never come to terms, or make frequent ill-informed and judgmental comments which cut your heart - and your child's to the core. If a person chooses not to be educated on the issues surrounding adoption then you may need to make a difficult decision to limit or cease contact. My father never met my adopted children for that reason.

    (PS do t rule out that you may want to try IVF later down the track. With two adopted and one IVF I can honestly say there is no difference between my love for any of them. In fact we were trying to adopt a third time when we started thinking we might give IVF a try (adoption Papers were taking a looong time). I just feel privileged to be a mum of all 3 of mine, doesn't matter which way it happened.

    Good luck!
    Last edited by Twocam; 27-04-2017 at 20:16.

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    Mave  (08-05-2017)

  5. #464
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    Thank you for sharing twocam. That was really great advice! I know she has the capacity to love a non-biological grandchild (she's a kindergarten teacher) but I never considered the mourning aspect. You're completely right though, I will take her through all the info and allow her enough time to warm to the idea. Thanks again!

  6. #465
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    Default Newbie

    Hi all!

    I've spent the last hour reading through this entire thread and love all the happy stories and information!

    My husband and I have just put our names down for an information session for adoption and PC. Just curious if anyone has any information on what is required and what they ask you about? I know it might be awhile before we get to attend an information session but would love as much info as possible!

    Hope this thread is still reasonably active!

  7. #466
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    Hi Tahli B and welcome! I've been floating around this board for a while. We adopted our son a little over three years ago and are currently waiting on the list to be matched again (fingers crossed). Regarding the info session you aren't required to answer anything there, it's the official start of the process where the Social workers let you know how the program works and what to expect in terms of the process and the number of children being placed at the time. It gets you thinking and if you have any questions it's a good place to ask the social workers, but you aren't required to do or say anything. The next step is attending a two day training. We honestly loved both the info and training sessions. It's exciting to get the ball rolling! Good Luck with your journey feel free to pm me if you have any more questions about the process. Should add that I'm in Melbourne in case you're interstate the programs cab differ slightly. 😊

  8. #467
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    Thanks so much gusandmeg! I've been searching for hours for more information about adoption and permanent care, I'm one of those people that want to know everything and anything about it all.

    I'm in Melbourne as well I do have a few questions, I apologise in advance if any of them are silly!

    How long did it take from when you first put your name down for an information session to attending one? What stuff gets covered in the training? Is there anything I can do now to help when it comes to applying?

    Sorry again, I'd just love to hear about the process from someone who has gone through it themselves.

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  10. #468
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    Okey doke so you are required to wait 6 months following fertility treatment before you can attend a training session. So given that plus the wait for an available session all up it was 9 months from the phone call to our agency and us attending the info session. I'm sure not everyone waits that long though especially if you haven't been receiving fertility treatment. Our training session covered everything and anything to do with the birth family. We were shown a video of an adoptive family having contact with a birth family and discussed how contact works and how each and everyone's situation is different in regards to contact. We looked at the birth mothers perspective, also our own families feelings regarding adoption, how we have both/all grieved our infertility if that's relevant and the types of children put up for adoption or placed for permanent care. We only attended the adoption info and training so I can't comment on PC however I do know that there are many more babies placed through that program than through the adoption program. We were so lucky and we're martched with our son 5 months after approval. I know a pc family who got a call the day after they were approved! So it does happen! Good Luck 😉

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    Mave  (08-05-2017)

  12. #469
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    Thank you so much for the info! We decided not to do any fertility treatment so won't have to wait that 6 months but I'm not sure when the next info sessions are on.

    You must have been so excited when you got the call about your son! I can't even imagine the feeling!

  13. #470
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    You are very welcome! I remember finding a timetable on the dhs website with the info and training schedule for the year I'm not sure if it's still there though, plus we ended up at a different regions info and training session as they had vacancy. They will
    put you in the next avail. The phone call and every day after have been the best days of our lives!! Our son is absolutely adorable and perfect in every way. All the best with your journey hope to see some good news soon 😊


 

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