I wish there was something I could do while I wait hehe just eager to start! Fingers crossed the info session is soon!
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30-06-2014 18:37 #181Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2012
27-07-2014 19:02 #182Junior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2009
I was just wondering if anyone could answer a question for me? We are considering adoption after a very complicated fertility treatment history, including 6 m/c. We have one amazing DS who is almost 8, and we lost our precious daughter to a heart condition at birth 2.5 years ago. I was wondering if anyone has pursued adoption after losing a child? I am not sure if it would be viewed favorably or not? I just don't want to pursue it if there is no chance. We would love to adopt/permanent care a child/ren (we'd happily take siblings) up to 6 years or so.
Thanks so much,
30-07-2014 10:18 #183
Precious ladies! I am currently at work and have spent the last hour reading all these posts. And I am nearly in tears with joy for the mummas and daddies that have their new beginning with these little ones, and nearly in tears with hope for you guys that are still waiting for a call. My husband and I looked into adoption a few years ago. as it took 4 years after our first loss to get pregnant again. and then we did with our now 2 DD. we then tried again and since have lost 2 more. another ectopic and a very sick little one who had Trisomy 16. We have started looking into adoption again. but dont really know a lot about it. is there anything that we should know as we step into this adventure? or things to consider? that you wished people told you?
30-07-2014 10:20 #184
We have lost 3 precious bubbas. and are looking at adoption.
30-07-2014 20:19 #185Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2013
Hi becnxavi and ameliahope,
Welcome. I empathize with your losses. I can only talk about our experience, but hopefully it will give you an idea. I have had 3 miscarriages and we have had 3or 4 years of fertility treatment before applying for adoption. We are now towards the end of our interview process. The fact that you already have a child or that you have lost precious babies is considered in your adoption application, but only as part of your life story and how it affects you now and your ability to parent and bond with a child coming into your family. For example, in my individual interview I was asked how I felt about my miscarriages and my infertility. The feedback I got from our workers was that it was obviously an emotional subject for me, but that it seems that I have come to terms with that part of my life.
In terms of what I wish we had known, all I can say is pay attention to the information given at the Info sessions and ask lots of questions. Also don't be afraid to call and ask questions. The biggest surprise for us was the wait times between info session and training, training and application, application and being allocated a worker. And each region is different.
The only other experience i'd like to share is that we have been really open with our family and friends about our application and support has come from some unexpected quarters. It is amazing how many people's lives have been touched by adoption or perm care once you start talking about it. It has also been easier for our families to support us because they are able to ask us questions about the process which was a great unknown to them.
Good luck for your journeys
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31-07-2014 15:24 #186
Walhalla. Thank you so so much. Yes the lady on the phone today was asking me about losses and about how I feel. We are waiting to hear about the info session. So we are right at the beginning of this journey. One thing I didn't understand was she asked if my infertility treatment had been resolved? I didn't really understand. X
01-08-2014 08:22 #187Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2011
Amelia you are required to cease fertility treatments when in the adoption process.
01-08-2014 08:43 #188
Oh ok! That makes sense. I didn't know if you meant you can't try ever again after you adopt. (That probably sounds silly)
02-08-2014 16:01 #189
That doesn't sound silly at all, particularly for couples who have experienced infertility and loss. In fact during the interview process, the social workers deem it necessary to establish that in particular, childless couples are at peace with knowing they will not have biological children of their own. In fact, it is normal for DHS to ask couples to use contraception such as the pill, to avoid conceiving following adoption. On a more personal note, we were asked to commence the pill for months prior to our board meeting, which is now just over three weeks away. We fully understand that they have the baby's best interest at heart.
The Adoption process is certainly a learning journey that provides couples with opportunities to view the process from the various perspectives of all parties involved.
Best of luck with your journey,
03-08-2014 07:07 #190
My last response was rather long winded, so I will put it in a nut shell.
If a couple mentions during their interviews that they would like to continue trying to conceive after they are placed with a baby, they may develop the view that the couple has unresolved infertility issues.
Hope that makes more sense.
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