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  1. #1
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    Default Newbie: Donating egg to sister - ? is it too weird. How long is the whole process?

    Hi all,

    I am new to this and would love your thoughts.

    My sister is 39 & 1/2 and had IVF but no success - she hasn't many eggs left. My mother had premature menopause age 38 and she & my sister both have (treated) hyperthyroidism which means there probably is something autoimmune happening there. I'm worried as my sister is getting down as she really wants to have a child.

    I am almost 35 and fit & have a clean bill of health and trying to start my family (& figure I probably don't have as high a risk of premature menopause as I don't have any autoimmune conditions). I had a very early miscarriage early this year. Today just found out I have an early missed abortion. I am dealing ok with the miscarriages because I know for me pregnancy will happen. But this is an opportunity to give my sister my eggs because if I wait to fall pregnant & finish breast feeding it can be another 2 years. I haven't told her yet & don't know if she will feel really funny about her child having her husband & MY genes.

    I guess I don't want to jeopardise my chance of having my own family by taking too long with the egg donor process. Can anyone tell me how long it takes from the time you get booked into see the IVF specialist to the time the eggs are harvested? I am mindful that it's not as quickly as we think as they will be checking up on family details & bloods etc.

    I guess the 3rd issue is - I live in SA & she lives in NSW, would it work?

    A penny (& more) for your thought.

    Regards,

    Ozrunner

  2. #2
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    i think what you want to do is lovely for your sister.

    However, to be an egg donor they really stress that you have completed your own family before you donate as sometimes (rarely) there can be complications and they want to make sure you don't miss out on your own family by donating to another.

    It can all happen pretty quickly when it does go ahead, but there is a counselling requirement and legals to be taken care of.

    good luck on your own journey and for your sister as well

  3. #3
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    Your sister is very lucky to have you and I think it's great you're doing a bit of research before broaching the subject with her.

    There wouldn't be a problem with the interstate thing - it's simply a bit more travel and therefore adds to the costs. Both partners (of the donor and the recipient) may be required to travel to the chosen clinic for counselling, but some clinics will do counselling over the phone.

    I think the most important thing to think about - is how you would feel if you donated to your sister and she had a child, and then you were unable to have a successful pregnancy yourself? It's a question that is bound to come up in counselling anyway, but just wanted to put that out there as a scenario because it sounds like it could be a real possibility, given your age and losses.

    To answer your question though.....the donation process (the actual IVF cycle itself) takes about 6 - 8 weeks......your sister's and your own cycles would need to be synchronised and therefore it could take a little longer than a normal IVF cycle. The counselling and initial doctors appointments can take a bit of time, depending on how hard it is to get appts with your chosen doctor, and the logistics of co-ordinating 4 people for appointments etc.

    There is of course the possibility that she wouldn't fall pregnant first transfer, and then there would be frozen embryo transfers (if you are lucky enough to get extra embryos). These can be done monthly I think, depending on the technique the clinic uses.

    All in all, it could be quite a while from the decision, to seeing your sister successfully pregnant. OR you could be lucky and she might be pregnant within 8 weeks!!

    It truly is a selfless and kind thing you are considering, but I would urge you to think about offering after you have a child/children.

    I wish you the best whatever you decide.

  4. #4
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    Hi there, I am in your sisters boat. My sisters will be donating to me at the end of the year.

    I am the same as your sister, low AMH, so not a lot of eggs left. My middle sister also has low AMH (not as low as me) and has had 2 kids. My youngest sister 31 has not had kids. She has lowish AMH.

    The youngest sister wants to start her family very soon as she sees her egg supply running out like ours did but first she wants to have a round of IVF to give me her eggs, cause like you said, if she falls pregnant she wont be able to donate for another 2 years and by then it may be too late.

    For my sisters and I we are woking as a team to get everybody over the line and have a family. We are all very close and want everybody to share in the joy of being a mum. This means we need to work out stratagy and timing and I feel so greatful that they are both planning to donate for me as I would miss out for sure if not for them.

    Im giving myself one last chance with my own eggs in June, then its into councelling for all 3 of us to get the ball rolling and get my sister and I pregnant with whose ever eggs are going to work. At this stage the priority is me as I am the oldest, then it will be my youngest sister, with the middle one donanting as well if required.

    Like I said its a team effort and I wish you and your sister all the best, it is a lovely thing you are considering doing.

    Wow does any of that make any sence??

  5. #5
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    Hi Ozrunner, cant really advise much but good luck with your decision.

    Lily - that is a wonderful thing you and your sisters are doing together. I makes me teary to read how supportive you all are of each other.

  6. #6
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    I think it's a wonderful idea I would do that for my brother or even ex SIL if they needed it.
    Lilypily best of luck

  7. #7
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    Lily what you are doing for your sister is just the most wonderful thing.

    I have donated twice both times to recipients interstate and there were no issues.

    Goodluck to you and your sister.

  8. #8
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    Hi MumtoMarNel... wow you have been an egg donor twice. Thats such a wonderful thing to do. I wish I was younger and able to help some of these ladies on here. Maybe if I have left over embys that can be my gift. At this point I wonder if I will ever get there. Congratulations on doing somthing so special for sombody..

  9. #9
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    Ozrunner, just read through your post again and wanted to add a couple of things.

    First, Im very sorry to hear of your losses - -you are a wonderful person to even be thinking of donating (down the track) while going through a missed m/c.

    Second, an AMH test might help in your decision, esp if your mum had premature menopause. It might give you an idea of how long you could afford to take out of your own TTC journey. A GP should be able to do this for you if you find one that is knowledgeable about fertility. Dont be fobbed off by a normal FSH, as that can stay normal even if your ov reserve is very low (this is what happened to me - only an AMH, and later an antral follie count showed what was really going on in my ovaries.)

    There is more info on AMH if you do a bubhub search.

  10. #10
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    Default Thank you

    Hi everyone,

    Thank you so much for all your advice - all good & all thoughtful.

    I didn't know about AMH, I will research more about it. I just had a currette 2 days ago so I guess I have 2 months to decide and research a bit more.

    Thank you Lilypily for sharing your story - I wish you & your sisters all the best.

    I think I'm just so overwhelmed by the support on here - I've never really been on aforum before and I've just realised the like mindedness and the practical pointers everyone has.

    Thanks so much.

    Ozrunner


 

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