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05-05-2010 15:51 #11
05-05-2010 16:00 #12Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2009
My DH has extremely low sperm count, we found this out after doing tests after a year married. As you can imagine it was devastating took a long time took him to come come to grips with, lots of tears etc.
After seeing a IVF specialist they put us straight on ICSI as there was no other avenue. Normal IVF wouldn't work due to low motility etc.
My DH thought I was going over board with my requests but like a lot of you have mentioned, we both completely got off the alcohol, no coffee, made him wear baggy undies. Got some Fertaid tablets shipped in from the US to help with quality Sperm etc.
After our first ICSI attempt, I had 36 eggs as you can imagine very painful and I ended up with OHSS. But thankfully they inserted 18 eggs with DH's sperm and 9 were were frozen at day 3.
After a couple of months waiting for my body to recover out of the 9 eggs only 1 of these made it to day 5, this wonderful egg is going to give us our beautiful baby boy due next week.
Best of luck to each of you still trying, I honestly believe being healthy is the best way in conceiving.
05-05-2010 16:29 #13
Thanks Wishing4ababy for sharing your beautiful story...against lots of odds a miracle comes... and you don't have to wish anymore!
This is exactly the kind of story I need to hear right now, and I think you're right about the healthy approach...it's just hanging in there in the long term that is challenging. Good luck with your delivery and being new mummy.
05-05-2010 17:55 #14
I know where you're coming from Starf1sh. We had a lot of cycles TTCDD2 and it was really hard to be healthy, caffeine free and give up alcohol the entire time. I felt like my life was on hold and I just couldn't keep it up. In the end I found moderation was the key for me anyway as it was the only way I stayed vaguely sane.
slinkymalinki you're certainly welcome here. Good luck TTC#3 naturally. I just can't wait (I'm 39 now and DD2 is just 1) so we're back on the drugs as soon as my cycle returns (I've only just weaned DD2).
EmmaDeeWhy the last answer to the last question on the attached link seems to be incomplete (in a pretty important way). Sorry if I'm being really slow here but is that the issue? Or does it relate to the register? Sorry if being too personal just very interested in other people's paths thru the infertility labyrinth.
05-05-2010 18:17 #15
I thought our issue was MFI. That is why we are in the IVF game. DH had a vas 15 years ago. Now it turns out its me holding up the show not being able to produce any eggs as I have a low AMH. Ironic I think. I thought as soon as the MESA was done we would be on our way, now our MFI is a FFI
05-05-2010 18:34 #16
lilypilly sad to say you're not alone. A good friend of mine on here (sorry BF I'm outing you) also did IVF/ICSI because of her DH's vas. only to find out she has poor eggs as well. I suspect based on what our FS said to us at our last appointment I may be heading down the same path...
05-05-2010 19:36 #17
Sonja - you wanted to know the new laws that is the link to the new laws as you might know there is a real shortage of sperm donors in this country and changes to the law makes it hard for people in my sitution as the donor now has to agreed to being contacted once the child reaches 18 how many men are going to want that at my clinic they only had 5 donors total and only 1 matched and once the law came in our donor didn't consent to be contacted so lucky for us we did fall pregnant
06-05-2010 08:38 #18
Firstly can I say that I am by no means judging anyone with my post here…so apologise beforehand if I offend anyone, I don’t mean to I just want to give my opinion.
DH & I need donor sperm to help create our family…
We live in NSW & had previously been using donor sperm through VIC where they have had this law in for a while (Central register ITA). It was one of the reasons we chose our clinic so we could use vic sperm because of these laws. We believe that everyone has the right to know his or her genetic history. We are happy with this law now in nsw, and if it makes sperm donors reluctant to donate now then, for us anyway, we would not want them as our sperm donor. Don’t get me wrong, anyone who donates their gametes are fantastic for doing so, giving such a wonderful gift. But we want our children to have the right to, if they so choose, find info about their donor when they get older. DH & I plan to be totally open about how our kids were created from a very early age so they are brought up knowing…DH will always be the DADDY, but we needed the help of a DONOR. I get a little upset when I see people call the sperm donor “father”. To us the father is the man who is there in kids lives everyday, who loves & nurtures them, and supports them throughout their life. I have known some people in my life, conceived naturally, where their biological “father” has been no more than a sperm donor IYKWIM (actually been less of a sperm donor).
Genetics don’t make a good father.
We feel that by telling our kids early on about their genetic background they will grow up knowing and it will just be part of who they are. It will not be a huge shock to them if they were to find out later on in life, which I think would be just devastating and we could never do that to our children. (and the risks are they will find out eventually) We have to trust our children, that they will handle this information ok, and that gives them the option to investigate further about their donor if they want to… I believe we owe them that right. We could never bring up our kids with such a huge secret. At the end of the day it all comes down to the parents attitude…and we plan on building loving, open & trusting relationships with our kids.
Anyway, just views/plans from one couple using donor sperm. Would be interested to hear others thoughts on this? To tell or not to tell etc?
Last edited by YinYang; 06-05-2010 at 08:42.
06-05-2010 10:12 #19
Emma thanks for the explanation it makes sense from the point of view that your donor didn't want contact so you wouldn't have had his gametes.
YinYang you raise a lot of interesting points. I wonder whether men do not want that contact because they fear a backlash from the child or that the child will look to them for financial support. One of my best friends is adopted (she's nearly 40) and she's known her whole life and I think she's always been grateful for her parent's honesty. We are not in that position but I'm not sure how DH would feel if we were (ie about telling our child) but at the end of the day it's about what's best for the child. We'll definitely be telling the girls that they were conceived thru IVF when they're old enough.
06-05-2010 11:13 #20
What a great idea for a thread. MFI is just not discussed that much... I believe it's because as females we feel to need to protect our loved one, it's the nurturing and protecting nature in us. Throughout our IVF journey I was constantly in protection mode for DH's feelings on the matter. My counsellor was a great help in making me realise that they are big boys and can handle their own emotions... not that we can tell of course because we know they hold their cards very close to their chest. She made me realise that as much as I wanted to have a deep personal/emotional conversation about it that DH was not going to play ball, men are just built differently from women. Serious Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus stuff
With that said, it is so hard from a female perspective dealing with MFI. No only because we want to make it better for them but whether we like to admit it or not we do go through a phase of resentment towards them due to us having to have the injections/ultrasounds/blood tests/EPU's etc. and them just having 'man time' with a jar. So anything they can do to help is a step closer to them proving that they want this as much as we do (my DH did all the diet changes/herbs/vitamins/boxers... everything) because we know they won't actually talk about it (well most won't... sorry if I'm generalising).
We did IVF/ICSI for 5 years (TTC for 9) before we decided to cut our losses and move to donor sperm. It was at the 5 year mark when our FS suggested that the issue was DNA fragmentation and it didn't matter what quality our embryo's were (we always had lots of good quality embies) that they were never going to succeed in getting me pregnant. So generally I left the final decision up to DH because I thought it was important that he was comfortable with this. He was amazing, we had talked about it a few years before but never discussed the reality of it. When the decision was made we had such a new found excitement! As you can imagine after 5 years of ICSI just the thought of changing it up seemed promising (it's so easy to get into that jaded head space).
So anyway, with the help of donor sperm and some fairly hard core chinese herbs we are currently 27 weeks pregnant with fraternal twin boys. DH is so fine with the fact that we used donor sperm and even has a joke about it (his way of coping) every now and then. I just know he's going to be the best Dad!!
YinYang, I am 100% in agreement on your stance on donor sperm, we will be integrating our donor story as early as we can to make our boys understand where they came from and how special they are. I would hate to think that sometime in their teens they would accidently find out and that trust would be gone.
OK so I'll stop now... I wish you ladies all the best on your journey and I hope that you don't have to resort to using a donor but just trust me when I tell you that when it comes to the nitty gritty biological or not the baby is still yours and DH's and that's all that matters.
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