No sperm, low sperm, slow sperm, sperm with two heads, sneaky little sperm with chromosomal issues tucked away inside, sperm who don't want to do the dance with eggs, sperm who seem to be allergic to their little eggie counterparts - there's just so many areas where it can go wrong.
And so many ways of dealing with it: TESA, ICSI, PICSI, PGD, donor sperm, anti-oxidants zinc, keeping your man off coffee, keeping your man of the booze...
I wondered if anyone wanted to chat about what they are going through with MFI?
It can be a tricky beast. Sometimes it's easier to deal with your own problems - it becomes a touch harder when they are your significant others problem. And generally they don't talk about it too much. Not to their mates, and not to us.
And all the while we try to step a little more softly so we don't upset them. It can be hard.
I wondered if anyone wanted to chat about their experiences with MFI from a technical side, or an emotional side?
Love to hear from you.
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05-05-2010 13:32 #1
Male Factor Infertility Chat
05-05-2010 14:00 #2
Great idea for a thread. My DH has homer sperm but we are extremely lucky to have 2 children thanks to IVF.
What I find really hard is while there isn't much I can do to improve my eggs (that I don't already do anyway) DH seems resigned to the fact his sperm is bad and isn't interested in the possibility that something he does might improve it. He takes menevit (hasn't for ages) and limits alcohol when I ask but I get the feeling he is too embarrassed or something to talk about it. We had a lot of trouble TTC#2 and both did lots to improve our chances and I really wanted DH to have his boys tested again to see what was happening but he refused saying it was too humiliating!! WTF?? I am extermely sympathetic but I'm sorry compared with what we go through every IVF cycle w@nking into a cup is nothing!
I do get frustrated that we just tiptoe around the whole issue, and often wondered how it would have turned out if we'd not been successful in the end.
We're going back for #3 (our last) so no doubt we'll be crossing this bridge again very soon.
05-05-2010 14:16 #3
Thanks Penny so much for starting this thread. I have been pondering something like this for a while but wasn't quite sure how to word it both respectfully and realistically, but I think you've hit the nail on the head!
To be honest I was devastated when we discovered our issues were MFI and so was my DH...but he was a little more in denial, and felt super confident it could be completely overcome by diet/supplements etc And bless his heart he has thrown himself wholeheartedly into these things. I do admire him for that.
But a couple of years down the track, chinese herbs, acupuncture, many investigations on both sides finally led us to IVF and even still several cycles later we are still waiting for success, and of course it has taken a pretty huge emotional toll. Even trying to discuss IT at times (MFI I mean) has been really challenging and let us down the blame game...not very productive.
On the bright side, my DH's main issues were/are with DNA fragmentation, motility and morphology and we have seen significant improvements (mainly with DNA damage) with concerted and long term efforts with diet, supplementation, support from lots of professionals and DH giving up lots of stuff he loves (like wine, cycling, and of course making the switch to boxers!)
I am currently PUPO (3rd stim cycle) and have 2 embies on board, and probably the best looking embies so far, so here's hoping all that sacrificing has been worth it!
Keen also to hear other's stories...
05-05-2010 14:21 #4
Sorry Sonja, I think we posted at a similar time so I did not see your post first. It is really heartening to see someone who has had the success that you have had with IVF and had MFI issues (although I can also hear your frustration in getting DH on board again!)
What things did your DH change on the previous occasions that you think helped make IVF successful? Was it just the menevit and cutting down alcohol?
Last edited by Starf1sh; 05-05-2010 at 14:24.
05-05-2010 14:23 #5
My DH was born without spermies so we went the donor road happy to report identical twinnies on board now
Took DH a little while to get used to the idea but i just waiting until he came to me and said he was ready to go IVF and see what happens but with the new laws that came out this year we are very lucky that it worked for us as it would have been the end of the road for us otherwise
05-05-2010 14:54 #6Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2010
This is a great idea for a thread!
My DH and I found out about aor mfi issues before we even started ttc. DH first 2 sa came back with nil sperm and his last 2 came back with 4 and i can't remember the other number but is was very low. I assumed we would need to use a donor but our fs seems to think that with tesa and icsi we should be able to have a baby of our own.
Before the first 2 sa DH liked a drink and then for the third sa he stayed off the grog for 4 months and this showed positive results. He is now back drinking but no where near as much as he was. If i had my way he would never touch alcohol or coffee again. At first DH was very woe is me (which i totally understand) but now he see's what i will be going through and he realises that his attitude also affects me.
Poor DH is still holding onto hope that we may concieve naturally.
I think that this has made us a stronger couple and i really hope oneday i get to see my DH baby in his arms!
05-05-2010 14:57 #7
EmmaDeeWhy - what are the new laws? Would be interested to know. Congratulations on the twins. I love hearing about success stories!
Starfish - there was a fantastic article posted on here some years back about the 3 things men can do to improve quality. From memory they were 1) no alcohol 2) no caffeine 3) eat healthy and get lots of vitamins.
I asked DH to limit alcohol (he doesn't drink much anyway) and have no more than 1 coffee a day. He already eats pretty well but we added Menevit to the mix. I also wanted him to have acupuncture and take herbs but I couldn't get him across the line on that. I too dropped back my drinking (3 alcohol free days a week and only a few glasses otherwise) which was pretty easy as we had a small child anyway. Congratulations on being PUPO - how far are you into the 2WW?
05-05-2010 15:16 #8
05-05-2010 15:20 #9Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2010
I don't know how i feel about this new law.
I wonder if the ppl who make these laws have ever faced infertility issues themselves?
05-05-2010 15:31 #10Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2007
I haven't been on bubhub in a long time. As my signature block shows, we've had an up and down road on the fertility ride - but with many more ups than downs. After having been very lucky to conceive naturally in Jan 08 (after doing ICSI to conceive #1), we are now going back to try for #3 naturally. I'm really interested in this thread because at least part of our fertility issues were to do with MFI. When we conceived DS in 08, my DH had been taking Menevit and had more or less cut out grog and most caffeine. As we go into TTC #3, he's been taking Menevit, has cut down alcohol and is having usually 1 cup of coffee/day. I'm not sure if this is going to be enough (especially now that I'm 38). If we don't succeed naturally, I'm not sure if we will be able to do IVF again, given the difficulty of getting to BTs etc whilst wrangling two littlies and still turning up at work on time, not to mention the expense.
I find that DH is cooperative up to a point, but he obviously finds it hard to totally cut out grog and coffee. I find there's diminishing marginal returns with pushing more and more - the more I push for him to be purist, the less successful it is (just creates unproductive tension).
While obviously no alcohol and no caffeine is ideal, does anyone know if there are generally acceptable levels of either ie that wouldn't impact in any major way on the swimmers? I did see something (I think on the Menevit website) suggesting that up to 20 standard glasses per week is OK, but this seems pretty high.
I hope people don't mind me coming into this thread. I feel so much more at home here in the IVF area than the general TTC forums, where it can sometimes seem everyone gets UTD just by thinking about it.
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