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  1. #1
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    Default Tips for support person in labour

    HI all,

    I was discussinng my upcoming birth with my DH last night and was a bit worried about his response as my support person.

    He was like "what di ineed to know....you just go in and pop a baby out"!!!???

    This is our second and he was ok first time around, but i thought if i could give him some guided tips it woudl help.

    I am oiverjoyed that he sees birth as such a natural experience that the bubba will 'just pop out' but i ighly doubt it will be thgat 'easy'!! LOL

    So...do you ahve any links to tips for support people or do you ahve your own tips??

    Cheers
    Emma.

  2. #2
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    no one???

    Bump!

  3. #3
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    he needs to be
    -patient
    -calm!!!
    -keep a cup of water with a straw in it to give to you between contractions
    -keep silly comments to a minimum (so absolutely no 'its so easy, women go through it all the time' type comments - yes, well all know its something most women go through, i still reserve the right to bish while its happening).

    and if there's anything you know that really helped you in labour last time (ie, touch/pressure? water?) then get him to help with that as well - like massaging the lower back.
    and make sure he brings bathers incase you want a shower and insist on taking him in with you

    hope those help!

  4. #4
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    I know you already have one child, so sorry if any of this sounds repetitive
    We went to an active birth workshop held outside of the hospital and it was worth the money alone just for the tips DH got. The woman running it stated that lots of men think it's a case of go in, have baby, leave (similar to what you mentioned), whereas it is imperative that the birth partner is aware of what to expect, and aware of certain scenarios which might arise and how to act if they happen.

    The last thing you want is your partner to be standing there dumbfounded and confused. Ensure he is aware of the birth that you want - have a pre-labour discussion with him and go through your birth plan with him in great detail. He may need to be your voice in the birthing suite if your needs are not being met, or if the health practitioners are going against your requests – it can be difficult to convey your requests in the midst of labour. I.e.: if you don’t want to have continual foetal monitoring and the midwife keeps trying to strap it on, your partner should step in and say no.

    He needs to provide you with emotional and physical support. He needs to be prepared to have you possibly leaning on him for hours on end and prepared to massage you/give you drinks/ice chips/play music etc. Ensure that he is aware of the stages of labour, so that he doesn’t get freaked out if you all of a sudden cannot maintain a conversation with him. I warned my DH that I am quiet when in pain, and although labour might be different, I didn’t want him to be worried if I wasn’t making any noise. Alternatively, the birth partner also needs to be prepared that the birthing woman could possibly turn into Godzilla. He needs to be aware that every birth is different – this birth may be different to your last one.

    He needs to act calmly and speak calmly. A panicky birth partner can make the mother panicky, which really isn’t ideal. DH was great as he whispered encouraging and loving words in my ear and he stayed so calm and strong the whole time. He was also able to anticipate my needs – at one point in the birth pool he could tell I was getting tired in the squatting position, so he suggested another one which we learnt in our class. I was grateful for the suggestion, because in the throes of labour I wasn’t really thinking and my legs were actually killing me.

    I hope that was some help - good luck!

  5. #5
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    Get him to remind you to pee throughout the labour! We forgot to do that, and I ended up going into urinary retention & needed a catheter.. Blegh.

  6. #6
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    i totally i have asked my bf to be my birth partner cause my partner has to look after kids & i have 1 special needs child but when i said bout looking after boys for a couple days he looked at me strange i said what you want me to have baby & be home to cook tea that night lol some men havent got a clue,i i remember him being that guy who stood there looking stupid when had last baby so im so glad my friend will be there this time cause i know she be there for me

  7. #7
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    I homebirthed so this is a littl edifferent, but my job as Mumma Lioness was to have the baby, and DP's job was to guard the "den".

    Perhaps you can translate this to the hospital setting?


 

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