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  1. #1
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    Unhappy Another Failed IVF

    After 2 failed cycles of IVF, I did whatever I could to ensure I give cycle 3 the best possible chance. I took time off work during the 2WW after transfer, had accupuncture weekly, took TCM herbs, no housework, worked 4 days a week.

    We were over the moon when we saw a hearbeat at the 6.5 weeks scan from the IVF clinic despite having constant brown spotting for 3 weeks. At my accupuncture session I was always assurred that I have a great pregnancy pulse.

    On Monday (2 days ago) I had my first OB consultation. Naturally he did a scan & my world stopped when he said "It is not good news". My baby had died a few days after I had my first scan. It came as a huge surprise as my spotting had stopped & I stilled had all my pregnancy symptoms. I never felt better.

    So, I have been scheduled for a D&C this evening. DH & I are so consumed by grief since the news. We have been TTC for3 years & as I was unable to conceive naturally we turned to IVF for a helping hand.

    I don't know if we will go through another cycle as we are both physically, emotionally & financially exhausted from it all. This was the first cycle where there was a BFP. My eggs are not the best & seem to be declining each time - only collected 3 eggs from this cycle & ony 1 made to blast.

    My due date was the end of Oct & DH was so excited as it will be our first xmas as a family. Never would I have thought in a million years TTC is so difficult. In my 20s all I was doing was avoiding getting pregnant & in my 30s all I was doing is trying to get pregnant.

    Will the pain get easier? I am turning 37 in June & feel like I don't have much time left.

  2. #2
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    I have no magic answers for you - I am just so very sorry that you have had to go through this. I lost a baby after seeing a heartbeat at my first OB appointment and it was hell. But I already had had one baby and it was a huge comfort for me. And I am now 38. I was 37 when I lost that baby.

    Take time to grieve - be kind to yourselves and each other. It can be so overwhelming this process.

    There are a few threads on here with women in situations like yours....you will find great support there. There are some great women around bubhub - particularly in the trying to conceive and IVF threads

  3. #3
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    hi

    sorry to hear about your loss , your story is very similar to mine.....the pain will get easier but it certainly takes time.

    i finally got a bfp on our 6th icsi attempt.i was laways a poor responder and was starting to give up hope of being a mum..i couldnt beleive it, after 18 months of ivf we finally got there, i had a scan showed a HB but then at 10 wks after 6 days of spotting i m/c the baby at home....nothing can describe the emotion of losing a so wanted baby, itv was the worst moment and day of my life....plus after the initial shock you then have to face the idea of going back to ivf treatment which is just awful....i ended up seeing a counsellor for some months and this really helped as i felt so depressed and worn out by ivf and the loss......and on our 8th attempt we got a bfp again and it stuck, i consider myself very lucky.

    the first days and weeks all truly truly awful and nothing much will make u feel better....the grief, pain, sadness, anger and loss are overwhelming.....you will know what to do when u feel better, some do another cycle straight away ( i did one about 6 weeks later and it was bfn which again guttted me ) others leave it a while...at 36 i felt i had to keep going and didnt have time to waste.......

    remember that losing a baby is always a dreadful experience and with ivf its like rubbing salt into the wound......not sure if u work but i went back a week later and for me it was too early, i should have taken more time off, so make sure u take it easy.

  4. #4
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    Hi Annie,

    Im so sorry you are having to go through this.

    I too am a poor responder, cycles have always been hit and miss for me whether I actually have anything to transfer or not. On our 5th full stim cycle we finally got a BFP. Everything was going fine, we were having weekly scans, then we went for our 12 week scan and we got the same news, 'sorry but we have some bad news'. We had lost our baby at 12 weeks. Like JFB said, it was the worst day/time of my life, I was completely shattered and devastated, not sure if I could go on with IVF and TTC anymore. After some time I decided I had to keep going and give it all I had. We had another 5 full stim cycles and finally after 2 years of IVF we got another BFP. I am currently 33 weeks.

    My FS kept saying to us that we know that I can concieve and if we just hang in there it is just a matter of time.

    i wish you all the best.

    Kel xx

  5. #5
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    Thanks ladies for your kind words. IVF is such an exhausting (& expensive) process. I am hoping after the D&C I will be able to conceive naturally. After all I did manage to conceive once which unfortunately the fetus had also died at approx 6 weeks.

    We are good people & would have made fantastic parents. We waited until we were financially secure to give the child the best of everything. DH even quit his corporate job to start his own biz so that he can always be flexible & spend time with our baby. This is the one regret I will always have, not trying sooner.

  6. #6
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    You will make fantastic parents. You WILL MAKE FANTASTIC PARENTS!

  7. #7
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    Hi Annie,

    I just wanted to let you know that i am so sorry to hear your sad news. I don't have any advice to offer just a virtual hugtake care of yourself xxxx

  8. #8
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    you did what u thought was the right thing at the time, being financially secure and in a position to the best parents you can, thats not a crime or bad judgement or being selfish....you had no idea that you would end up on the ivf journey...same here...we also wanted to be financially secure (which we arent still !!!!!) and have completed studies etc....i had no idea i had a fertility problem....i now wish i had of made different decisions in my late 20's early 30's but i made the decisions i did with the info i had at the time.....i.e i would be fine.....and get pg within a few months...for most lucky ppl thats true so whay would we have thought otherwise???.....no one knows they will be infertile until they find out they are...even if they do we all think well have that baby within the first or second attempt at ivf....

    the girls in the 35+ thread and poor repsonders are a great support too and many (unfortunately) can only relate all too well to your heartache and age fears etc ...

  9. #9
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    Annie
    please come join us in the 35+ thread

  10. #10
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    Annie definately come join us in 35+ thread


 

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