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  1. #31
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    It sounds silly, But I want to be the girl that DP compares to everyone. I know he loves me and all that. But as he works in an office full of men, each day there are stories about girls they saw etc. and it kinda gets me down that I am not one of those girls that they would give a second glance to.

    I don't like being compared to other girls and coming off second best, it hurts my self esteem. I know it shouldn't but it does.

    Having two kids doesn't help me because I put everything I am into them and DP and don't leave any for me. I try but I fail often.

    I know this should be motivation enough to try again but it is easier to just be the daggy mum than to give up ensuring their happiness.

  2. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mischaswonderland View Post
    thank u trace, im quite the chub tho so its sadly my reality.

    i copped it big time whilst out with my family yesterday its bullhorn, im never leaving the house again.

    i just want to be another face in the crowd.
    People can be jerks I just block them out now I'm in my own world.

  3. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mischaswonderland View Post
    i want to look attractive so people will leave me alone.

    i'm sick of ppl poking fun or looking at me in an amused way for whatever the bloody reason. OVER ITTTTTTTTTTT onlookers im fat ffs not a three headed bearded lady!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    *sorry..lol had a bad day yesterday
    Know where you're coming from with that one

  4. #34
    Phyllis Stein is offline Winner 2009 - The most politically correct member award
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    I like playing with my appearance on occasion - sometimes I prefer looking 'natural', my hair dreading up, stray greys, no make up and simple, loose comfy clothing. Other times I feel like playing with makeup, dying my hair vivid red or jet black and dressing up in a lovely vintage frock. It depends on how frivolous I'm feeling, and what resources - time, money, energy, motivation, I have at my disposal.

    However, I don't do any of the above in order to look 'nice', 'attractive', 'good', 'healthy', etc, because these are all superficial constructions based largely on externally derived criteria. I do it because it reflects what I'm feeling at the time. Thus, when I'm engrossed in other things, I stop playing with my appearance and do merely what I must to get by.

    Appearance is superficial, it simply does not matter. Sure, it's fun to play with at times, as a creative expression. But it's entirely useless to invest any sense of self-worth in, IMO.

  5. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by kimberpotamus View Post
    When I think I look good I feel good.

    I wasn't daggy Kim before having my daughter and have no intentions of becoming daggy Kim now.

    For me I want to look attractive to me not for anyone else.
    This

  6. #36
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    I dont know. I thionk for me it feels like I'm taking care of myself? I dont really know.

    Because its almost like, I dont really care what other people see, its what I see in the mirror.

    I just wanna look pretty. not 'attractive', more... pretty.

  7. #37
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    Appearance is superficial, it simply does not matter.
    I agree that appearance is superficial but I don't believe that it doesn't matter. I know it shouldn't...but it does. That's the reality.

    It matters to me because I know I get treated differently when I'm not attractive to when I put some effort in. I know I get treated differently now that I'm overweight than what I did when I was skinny. I shouldnt' be treated differenty but I do...that's the harsh reality.

    If I want to be taken seriously and respected as a person, then I need to look as attractive as I can. It's a natural for people to look at 'pretty' or 'cute' things and treat them better. For instance, you're more likely to goo and gaa over a cute kitten than an ugly slug in a garden...it's natural.

    I just don't like how I get treated when I look ugly. I don't like feeling like I don't matter. Unfortunately, whether I'm the result of a society gone mad or not...it doesn't change the fact that it does matter to me (to a point...I'm not in a hurry to get botox or lipo ) . Enhancing my features so that I look more attractive than unattractive, helps me feel good about who I am because others feel good about who I am.

    Sound's shallow even when I'm explaining it...it's pathetic. But I can't help but feel that we take our cues from our surroundings as to how we feel about ourselves as people. When we were children, it was our parents, then it was our peers and then it's our significant other,,,but everyone treats us like cr @p because we don't look the part...everywhere we go then we are going to feel like cr @p.

    I don't know what one has to do to become ignorant to how we are treated and to not allow how we are treated to mess with our own self image/esteem.

  8. #38
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    Because I am a sahm and don't get out much (not including goint to the shops to get bread and milk or whatever) so when I do go out for dinner or even just to someone's house I sometimes like to dress nice and do my hair and make-up. It makes me feel good about myself.

  9. #39
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    When I make the effort to do my hair, wear a tad bit of make-up and wear something nice, I feel like I've accomplished something in the day, as opposed to lately not even getting a chance to have a shower till dh gets home. It then motivates me to get out of the house and do something. So I don't know if it's about looking 'attractive' but just feeling human and somewhat in control of myself.
    I want to lose weight too, that's been an issue on my mind, but the motivation is hard. Why do I want to lose weight? It's easier to shop, when I see something nice it just doesn't look right on me or is too tight somewhere (usually my boobs) At the moment I'm a size 14 which makes me feel uncomfortable and not myself, I hate looking at photos of myself and even my face seems bloated and unattractive (to me), but the funny thing is before ds, I had put on some weight and felt the same way, now when I look at those pictures I think damn I looked good! But back then I couldn't see what I see now, like my vision of myself was distorted?? I guess it's about how you feel about yourself on the inside, do I feel happy, accomplished, healthy? If I do, I see someone I like in the mirror, still working on that one

  10. #40
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    I enjoy looking attractive for my own ego & self-esteem. I don't really care what everyone else thinks.

    It makes me feel good inside to know that I look good on the outside, so that's it really!


 

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