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  1. #21
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    Fuchsia! is offline Winner 2009 - Best Signature
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    Shmoooooooosh! AKA jaxcoop
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    Its annoying. Last xmas i specifically said NO TOYS for xmas presents.

    The kids came back from their fathers with all the toys under the sun from their grandfather. I was very annoyed that they didn't listen. So i packed them in a box and sent them to their fathers.

    He said "Whats all this?" and i said "all the toys that i said not to get the kids for xmas" He asked "why do i have to get them" And i replied "because it was your father that didn't listen to my wishes, now you can deal with it yourself"

    Maybe next time he might actually listen and tell his father not to get toys for them

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    Wow jaxcoop, did you actually take the toys off your kids? And doesn't your ex get a say as to whether his kids can have toys or not?

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    This year I selected my favourite ecotoy website, and sent out links to it saying that we were eyeing up a few things on it and would appreciate gift vouchers from there if anyone wasn't sure what to buy.

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    It sounds like your MIL thinks she knows best, and is just disregarding your clearly stated wishes.

    It's hard though, as you don't want to get into a full scale feud over it.

    It would be ideal if she could just keep all the toys she likes at her house.

    Personally, I've got no particular issue with plastic toys, but you end up with so many of them. I'm happy just for a few. My MIL annoyed me at Christmas. She bought our son this junky hollow plastic motorbike push thing. Some $20 type thing from Target. It's just absolute rubbish and clutters the house. The reason why I'm annoyed is that we bought him a eurotrike for his first birthday in September, so he already had a toy like that.

  5. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Deserama View Post
    Wow jaxcoop, did you actually take the toys off your kids? And doesn't your ex get a say as to whether his kids can have toys or not?
    They were horrible toys anyway that the kids didn't even want.

    My ex and I limited toys this year for xmas, we had spoken to each other and as the kids have a heap of toys as it is in this house i said i didn't want anymore.

    I asked him of he wanted to buy the kids toys for xmas, to only buy things that went with stuff they already had like little people sets, lego, duplo, magnetix and things like that, rather then buy "new" things that i would have to find a new spot or container for. Or he could buy things that the kids needed like bike helmets, pool toys, swimming vest and things like that.

    I specifically asked the grandparents (my parents included) to not buy any toys. I asked them to buy things like i mentioned above or money to be used for their sporting this year.

    My ex's mother respected my wishes, same as my parents but the ex's father and his wife decided to buy cheap plastic toys, with tiny bits and toys that were not age appropriate.

    I whinged to the ex that they didn't listen, and he said "Oh well just be grateful they got anything"

    So i sent the stuff to his house to deal with it. I don't have the room in this house for more toys and if they don't respect my wishes or listen then they get chucked or given away. So instead this year i gave them to my ex cause he hates clutter and he might get the idea on what its like to have stuff lying around that doesn't get played with.

    I did keep a couple of the things that the kids liked and that was it.

    Oh and yes of course the ex gets a say in if the kids get toys or not. But they won't be staying here in my house. He can have them at his house. Don't see whats wrong with that?

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    Quote Originally Posted by nic255 View Post
    Thanks for all the responses so far



    My reasons include:
    * I dont like the chemicals used in plastic
    * I prefer using environmentally friendly products - such as sustainable timber
    * In regards to the characters - I do not like how they become an obsession with children. I see it every day at work and it just doesnt sit well with me.


    I guess we have a bit of a personal philosophy that underpins why we make these choices:
    I believe (not everyone needs to agree with this, it is simply my experience and research in early childhood development that has swayed me) that children only need simple things and do not need an abundance of toys etc. I run a child care centre that offers children open ended toys (e.g. basic timber blocks) that encourage the child to develop their imagination and their own ideas. That is really important to me. So far we have not bought one toy for our bub - we have been given a small timber car and a timber pram hanging. But I know that he will gain so much through things we will do with him and the time we will spend with him.

    As for what I will do when we walk past a shop and our son sees character branded stuff - I wont do anything. Like most things in life, you dont always get what you want and I hope that by providing our son with other meaningful things we will be doing the best that we can do.

    You are right about giving things to charity - I am a big believer in donating things that dont suit us, I just dont want people to spend money on things only for us to then donate them because we dont want them IYKWIM?



    Yay! Its nice to hear that! I dont want it to be that this is what I think everyone should do, but it is what DP and I have decided is right for our family



    I should be allowed to police what they by for my son because he is my son. Its like saying that I dont want him to drink juice and they continually give him juice... its a choice we have made as parents and while I want his grandparents to be involved, it is not up to them.

    There are some beautiful wooden play gyms available online made from sustainable timber DP might actually make one for our bub as he is very handy.



    We intend to either homeschool or send our children to our local Steiner school, where these things are discrouaged anyway. I dont think we would be able to do it if we werent choosing a schooling option that supported our personal beliefs.



    Are you my TWIN???!!!

    LOL

    same personal philosophy....

    same schooling ideas....

    Same job......

    Are you stalking me ... LOL

    good to see I am not alone in what i believe!!!!!

  7. #27
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    No nothing...just asking. Now that you've said they were cheap plastic cr ap that they didn't want anyway and that you kept what they did want, then that makes sense.

    I just couldn't imaging taking toys away from my kids is all.

    Aaaaanyway, I had a totally different annoyance with my inlaws. 4 of my kids are from my previous marriage and 3 of my nieces and nephews are from a previous relationship too. And my brother and sister in law exchange gifts for the 'stepkids' and even though my inlaws go on about how proud they are that they have x amount of grandkids (and include MINE and my SIL's kids even though they're not blood) they gave my two youngest ones gifts but didn't think to give any to my other children.

    I find this a very awful thing to do and am upset by the exclusion. I find that it's the thought that counts more than anything....I don't care if it was a million cheap plastic cr ap, it's the thought that counts and when my other kids don't get anything then I know that my kids are not in their thoughts at all and that hurts!

  8. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by emsfirstbaby View Post
    Are you my TWIN???!!!

    LOL

    same personal philosophy....

    same schooling ideas....

    Same job......

    Are you stalking me ... LOL

    good to see I am not alone in what i believe!!!!!
    We're the same, and managed it with DD in a "normal" school, although it was hard when all her classmates had expensive plastic crap. One even gave her a $100 barbie doll for her birthday! uckily I brought her up well enough that she knows wat consumerism is, and the difference between wants and needs, and that just because other parents choose that sort of thing for their kids doesn't mean we have to compromise our own values.

    She rang the other day to tell me about her friend, whose family is poor. For Xmas this girl got $475 worth of Smiggle stuff, plus a whole lot of electronic toys and games, plus $150 cash to spend as she wanted. All this just from her mum and dad, despite the fact that they apparently can't afford new clothes or much food. DD was perfectly happy with her few small presents and didn't feel left out for not getting as much as her friend, even though we can afford it. I'm very proud of her for that.

  9. #29
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    Oh thats really mean, i would have felt the same. My nephew also has a sister (different father so not related to us) we always make sure we buy her something as well.

    How rude!

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    Quote Originally Posted by emsfirstbaby View Post
    Like you, I do not wish my child to have any character stuff or any "plastic toys". I have done my research into this and am trained in child care and see the difference this can make in childrens immaginative and all round development....

    ........
    I have to disagree with the above quote. My kids have lots of wooden toys/blocks (that they play with everyday) as well as ben 10 toys, dressups etc in the licenced brands.

    Their imaginative play is definately not hindered by having character "stuff", if fact it is enhanced. My girls role play in the pool and my son is active, has a great imagination and they all can figure out games that they may see in the character areas.

    Then they will sit down and build the most amazing things with their wooden blocks. We stopped buying plastic toys because they broke easily.

    They are developing just fine btw and have not suffered because I buy barbie dolls or ben 10 aliens for them

    To the OP, I think you sound like a wonderful caring mum who is going to provide a fantastic healthy environment for you child. Your family should listen to you as you are the mother..your child your choice as is mine! best wishes.....


 

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