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  1. #1
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    Default URGENT - DD doesn't want to spend time iwth her dad's family in 20 min

    My DD (just turned 11)'s dad died when she was 5.

    She doesnt see his family a huge amount, much of them are overseas, she sees her grandparents and her uncle every month though.

    The entire family is currently in AUs for christmas (from all over the world/country) and she has spent 3 day with them having a great time but come back exhausted, she started crying and asked to come home because she missed her mum.

    They want to take her again now because they are taking a family photograph, opportunity prob wont come again.

    SHe is crying saying she doesnt want to go, that everyone else has their mum and dad there and she is tired.

    Should she go?

    I feel too tired myself to decide, I've explained the opportunity might not come again but I found it painful myself being with the family for an hour or so, so I know she would be feeling it (brings back past hurt etc, re first DH's death, imagining him there, etc)

  2. #2
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    could you take her for the photo and then bring her straight home?

    Poor honey, that would be so hard.

  3. #3
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    Could you go with her?

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    i would explain to her about the photo and how that because everyone is together they really want one with her in it. then i would take her to the photo and bring her home afterwards.

  5. #5
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    I can't, because I already have several other commitments (building & pest inspection, interview with principal at her new school). Also I wasn't invited lol. They only told me about this last night - if we had known we could have planned better.

    She has just gone and I said to text me as soon as the photo is taken and I will come and get her and she can come and do the errands with me

  6. #6
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    perfect. what a trooper she is.

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    I would tell her to go, just get her early. She is not a baby she is old enough to know they are her family too and it will only happen once.

    If my child didn't want to go I'd make them. It's only a photo. I mean she is their dead sons daughter it probably means alot to all the other family to see her there in the photo..

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by girly View Post
    I would tell her to go, just get her early. She is not a baby she is old enough to know they are her family too and it will only happen once.

    If my child didn't want to go I'd make them. It's only a photo. I mean she is their dead sons daughter it probably means alot to all the other family to see her there in the photo..
    I know what you are saying..

    But shes also a person with feelings. I think she has the right to say I am tired and emotionally exhausted.

  9. #9
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    My dad died when I was 5 too, I haven't seen his family since I was about 14 and even then only a couple of them. I really don't know anything about them or where they are. I would love to have a photo of me with all of them, let her know you understand how she's feeling but it really is a once in a lifetime opportunity and it would probably make his family so happy too. Maybe you could offer her a reward for putting in the extra effort ( I know that sounds like bribery but if she does put in the extra effort she would deserve a reward). Best of luck.

    Sorry just reread your previous post, glad she went, she will value it later.
    Last edited by Hootenanny; 23-12-2009 at 10:20. Reason: added info


 

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