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  1. #601
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    popping in again to say gday ladies

    hopefulmum, Im really glad that my story about being overweight and TTC was helpful for you. Like I said I agree that its a positive thing to be healthy when TTC but BMI is far from being the be all and end all of pregnancy success. So dont take any crap or judgement from others, and good luck progressing with tests and appts so you can get some answers and decide on next steps. If you ever want to hear any more detail of what I went through when trying to conceive and also through pregnancy I would be more than happy to share, let me know. take care and good luck!

    mummyplease,
    thinking of you and sending you positive vibes for next Fridays scan, I hope the week doesnt stretch too much for you!

    Thanks too everyone for the congrats on our little George.

    take care everyone

  2. #602
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    Hopefulmum2b is offline Proud Mama Bear to a gorgeous little girl!
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    BEKIND: I really was. After reading what you wrote, I definitely won't be taking any more crap from others. It does suck that I am judged because of my size. They always assume that I am unhealthy and it hurts me hearing people say that. Plus when some nasty people say that I don't deserve kids until I loose weight is utterly devastating. And thank you for the good luck. I certainly need it that's for sure. And it would be fantastic to hear more details about what you went through when TTC and during your PG. It's just a huge relief that there is someone out there who has been through what i'm going through right now. So any info you have would be awesome and greatly appreciated.

    AFM: Cyclone Bianca is well and truly on her way. I've spent the morning tying things down and putting stuff in the shed like DH asked. Hope I tied things done well. Had a massive down pour this afternoon with the loudest thunder i've ever heard that my window shuddered and I have roller shutters on them! So far it has stopped and there is no wind what so ever, but the humidity is still hanging around. And i've heard on the TV that she should be past here sometime tomorrow and then will be heading straight down to Mandurah and Bunbury. There's already 51,000 people who have no power and I feel so sorry for them because this humidity is insane. My poor air con is struggling to keep the place cool and I have all my blinds shut! But things should be all back to normal come Monday. Luckily the temp should only be around the mid 30's. DH told me tonight that it got to 47 today where he is and the storm is now passing through his way so it's starting to rain. I hate storms. I love the rain, but i'm a scaredy cat when it comes to thunder and lightning.

    Looks like DH might actually be home for once when I lay an egg. Did another OPK today and the line was really faint almost invisible. I'm going to do another one tomorrow to see if it shows up darker this time. Would be totally awesome if after all these years I get myself another BFP and it sticks this time. Holy cow, DH would be over the moon! I hope this is it. Don't want to get too over confident though, so we'll just have to wait and see.

  3. #603
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    shell'80 is offline <3<3TTC our first little cherub<3<3
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    Thank you for the lovely welcome hopefulmum it's great that we are all in the same boat, and that we are all here to support each other.
    Good luck with cyclone Bianca and that you to catch that egg

    Babydust and BFP's to all xo xo

  4. #604
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    Hi hopefulmum, thought Id pop back in and chatter on a little more about my journey since you mentioned it was useful and reassuring to hear. I am completely the same as you that I was completely devastated when others passed comments about how I didnt deserve kids, or IVF treatment because I was overweight. I even had a go once at a 'friend' on facebook because she decided to mouth off about how overweight women shouldnt be allowed to get medicare support for ivf.......it used to really get to me, and it is just so wrong and unfair

    The thing is that there are so many reasons for a person being overweight, and others have no right to judge. It is also possible to be fit and overweight which is one of the reasons why I think the BMI index is so flawed......anyway.....enough soapboxing

    So to go into a bit more detail about my story....

    when we had been trying for over 12 months I decided it was time to check out what was happening with us both and if there were any issues. My cycles were always pretty regular, about 31 days. I didnt have any abnormal periods, heavy or anything and had always been this way. So I went to the GP (i have a nice female GP) and asked for a referral to a fertility specialist. She was aware of my history (I have a history of binge eating disorder and depression and have been getting treatment for both of these things in recent years. My eating disorder was on the improve but my weight hadnt shifted much yet) so she knew that I was working on my health and she had a good attitude and never mentioned that it was something that I shouldnt be progressing or didnt deserve to... So I asked her for a referral to a specialist and also said I want to see someone that has a kind manner and wouldnt be judgemental or rude about my weight. So I got the referral and off we went.

    The fertility specialist was great. I was so nervous about that first appt...I was convinced she would straight away tell me it was all my fault because of my weight but that wasnt the case at all...in fact she didnt even bring it up before I asked. She said it might have some impact but not necessarily. I learnt that if weight is going to contribute to infertility its most often when weight affects the regularity of your cycles and your ovulation, but if my cycles were regular (which they were) and I was ovulating then it was very likely that my weight wasnt actually affecting fertility...

    So she reccommended that we track cycles for a few months with scans to see whats happening with ovulation, check hubbies swimmers and then do a dye test to see if my tubes were open. So then like I think I mentioned earlier it turned out that hubby was fine, my tubes were open and my cycle tracking proved I was ovulating so there was no reason why things werent happening for us. This information was very reassuring but I also have to say it was hard because it was still outside of our control and we had nothing to 'fix' or work on as such.

    So the plan of attack then came to look at what sort of fertility support we would use and decided that IUI was for us since it was unexplained infertility and worth a shot. This way we were kind of easing into IVF and would hopefully have success with IUI. We registered and had our appts with counsellors and nurses to get all organised to start and I had the kit, practiced using the injections I would need to do each day and the plan was ready to kick off.

    So by this time it had been nearly two years of trying and before we started IUI we decided that we would treat ourselves and take a holiday to visit family overseas. It wasnt the best financial decision but we were both pretty stressed and overworked so decided it would be best for our all round health!

    So when we were away I actually managed to stop thinking about what cycle day it was every day, and we actually relaxed and switched off. Then a few weeks went by, my period was late, and we bought a preg test in Paris. I was certain it would be negative and that my cycle was just out with the travel and all....so when it came back positive I was truly blown away!!!

    We called the fertility specialist from overseas and made an appt for when we got home and from there she referred us on to an obstetrician. Since being overweight and pregnant can potentially put you at risk for some things (hypertension, Gestational diabetes) she referred me to an obstetrician who specialised in higher risk pregnancies. But in the end we didnt need her specialities because I didnt develop gestational diabetes, no hypertension, and my blood pressure was only up a little at the very end which can happen to any woman of any weight anyway......and then this Jan we were blessed to have little George join us.

    Typing up the summary on here it does sound simpler than it was at times....I spent many many days dduring pregnancy worrying that my weight would affect my baby and or my health but that didnt turn out to be the case and Ive had a healthy bubs.

    I think TTC is a complex and rollercoaster ride as it is, and Im sure every woman can find reasons why its not happening, I think when you are overwirght it just gives you another thing to feel guilty about!

    So hopefully this long long ramble was of some use to you.....it was actually helpful for me to jot it all down and remember our path to the present. Now that Im a Mum theres a whole new bag of things to feel guilty about so its good to be reminded that Ive got this far and the world hasnt collapsed because of my size if you know what I mean!!

    Again wishing you all the very best, take care of yourself and remember you deserve the same support, advice and treatment as anyone else.

    Please let me know if there is any other support I can give you and I wish you all the best of luck in this crazy journey!

    Emma

  5. #605
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    Quote Originally Posted by bekindtoyourself View Post
    Hi hopefulmum, thought Id pop back in and chatter on a little more about my journey since you mentioned it was useful and reassuring to hear. I am completely the same as you that I was completely devastated when others passed comments about how I didn't deserve kids, or IVF treatment because I was overweight. I even had a go once at a 'friend' on facebook because she decided to mouth off about how overweight women shouldn't be allowed to get Medicare support for ivf.......it used to really get to me, and it is just so wrong and unfair

    The thing is that there are so many reasons for a person being overweight, and others have no right to judge. It is also possible to be fit and overweight which is one of the reasons why I think the BMI index is so flawed......anyway.....enough soapboxing

    So to go into a bit more detail about my story....

    when we had been trying for over 12 months I decided it was time to check out what was happening with us both and if there were any issues. My cycles were always pretty regular, about 31 days. I didn't have any abnormal periods, heavy or anything and had always been this way. So I went to the GP (i have a nice female GP) and asked for a referral to a fertility specialist. She was aware of my history (I have a history of binge eating disorder and depression and have been getting treatment for both of these things in recent years. My eating disorder was on the improve but my weight hadn't shifted much yet) so she knew that I was working on my health and she had a good attitude and never mentioned that it was something that I shouldn't be progressing or didn't deserve to... So I asked her for a referral to a specialist and also said I want to see someone that has a kind manner and wouldn't be judgemental or rude about my weight. So I got the referral and off we went.

    The fertility specialist was great. I was so nervous about that first appt...I was convinced she would straight away tell me it was all my fault because of my weight but that wasn't the case at all...in fact she didn't even bring it up before I asked. She said it might have some impact but not necessarily. I learnt that if weight is going to contribute to infertility its most often when weight affects the regularity of your cycles and your ovulation, but if my cycles were regular (which they were) and I was ovulating then it was very likely that my weight wasn't actually affecting fertility...

    So she recommended that we track cycles for a few months with scans to see whats happening with ovulation, check hubbies swimmers and then do a dye test to see if my tubes were open. So then like I think I mentioned earlier it turned out that hubby was fine, my tubes were open and my cycle tracking proved I was ovulating so there was no reason why things weren't happening for us. This information was very reassuring but I also have to say it was hard because it was still outside of our control and we had nothing to 'fix' or work on as such.

    So the plan of attack then came to look at what sort of fertility support we would use and decided that IUI was for us since it was unexplained infertility and worth a shot. This way we were kind of easing into IVF and would hopefully have success with IUI. We registered and had our appts with counsellors and nurses to get all organised to start and I had the kit, practised using the injections I would need to do each day and the plan was ready to kick off.

    So by this time it had been nearly two years of trying and before we started IUI we decided that we would treat ourselves and take a holiday to visit family overseas. It wasn't the best financial decision but we were both pretty stressed and overworked so decided it would be best for our all round health!

    So when we were away I actually managed to stop thinking about what cycle day it was every day, and we actually relaxed and switched off. Then a few weeks went by, my period was late, and we bought a preg test in Paris. I was certain it would be negative and that my cycle was just out with the travel and all....so when it came back positive I was truly blown away!!!

    We called the fertility specialist from overseas and made an appt for when we got home and from there she referred us on to an obstetrician. Since being overweight and pregnant can potentially put you at risk for some things (hypertension, Gestational diabetes) she referred me to an obstetrician who specialised in higher risk pregnancies. But in the end we didn't need her specialities because I didn't develop gestational diabetes, no hypertension, and my blood pressure was only up a little at the very end which can happen to any woman of any weight anyway......and then this Jan we were blessed to have little George join us.

    Typing up the summary on here it does sound simpler than it was at times....I spent many many days during pregnancy worrying that my weight would affect my baby and or my health but that didn't turn out to be the case and Ive had a healthy bubs.

    I think TTC is a complex and roller coaster ride as it is, and Im sure every woman can find reasons why its not happening, I think when you are overweight it just gives you another thing to feel guilty about!

    So hopefully this long long ramble was of some use to you.....it was actually helpful for me to jot it all down and remember our path to the present. Now that Im a Mum theres a whole new bag of things to feel guilty about so its good to be reminded that Ive got this far and the world hasn't collapsed because of my size if you know what I mean!!

    Again wishing you all the very best, take care of yourself and remember you deserve the same support, advice and treatment as anyone else.

    Please let me know if there is any other support I can give you and I wish you all the best of luck in this crazy journey!

    Emma
    EMMA: Thank you, thank you, thank you! You have no idea how wonderful it is to read about your story. It's a real eye opener that's for sure. It gives me hope and confidence that I still have a chance of becoming a mum one day and to not lose hope.

    I agree totally when you say that TTC is hard enough without having to add a weight issue on to it. It does make it even more difficult and stressful. And makes you feel even more guilty that's for sure.

    I have been on another forum where women are overweight (one woman is 150kgs and has 5 kids!) and still go on to conceive babies, so I keep thinking to myself, if they can when they are heavier than me, then what's wrong with me? My weight now is currently sitting at 101.9kgs and it's been up and down a kg or two for months now and I have a BMI of around 41. I walk on my tread mill for 30 mins everyday, I try and eat healthy and drink truck loads of water. I honestly don't know what i'm doing wrong and what else I can do to up my chances.

    Both DH and I have been tested and everything came back okay. I do however have my HyCoSy appointment on the 22nd of Feb, so other than that, we're both fit. I've done about 3 months of OTing and that came back saying that I was in fact laying an egg each month which was good. So right now both DH, myself and the Dr is baffled as to why i'm still not UTD yet. Although it doesn't help that DH works away and isn't always home when I O which the Dr said definitely plays a massive part in TTC. DUH! We already knew that.

    It's very frustrating not know why I can't fall PG and why I keep M/Cing. And then hearing about a family member or friend who announces that they are expecting just pushes the knife in deeper. Like DH's SIL had her first bub in October. She's 37 and wasn't even trying saying that this was a surprise. Now she suffers from depression and my BIL is a type 1 diabetic who is on a cocktail of medication for all sorts of stuff. So if the both of them can have a baby and DH and I can't (both of us aren't on any meds what so ever) what chance do we have? There are so many questions that need to be answered and it sucks that even the Dr doesn't know the answers to them.

    On a happier note, we're hoping that this month is our month because DH comes home tomorrow evening and I haven't had a LH surge on my OPK's yet so we're hoping that we catch Ms Egg on time. I mean after 4 years of testing and 3 M/C's I think it's about time DH and I got some great news for all our heartbreak and troubles. It's not too much to ask, right?

    Both of us will be going on a little break on Wednesday (with his parent's unfortunately) which I think we both really need. So we hope that the rest, relaxation, not thinking about TTC and just enjoying ourselves will help somewhat. Fingers crossed that there might be some good news soon. I'm not giving my hopes up though, but the though of getting a BFP brings a smile to my face.

    I will definitely be taking care of myself and enjoying our time away. Could be just what the Dr ordered.

    I would like to say thank you so much again. You're so-called ramblings have been an absolute God send. Thank you for your support. I really appreciate it. xxx

    Jen xxx

  6. #606
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    you are so so welcome, Im so glad I can help.
    Dont give up, you sound like a wonderful woman and amazing person and you, like anyone else deserves buckets of happiness and some good luck in your corner!

    Try not to blame yourself, there is nothing wrong with you hun, sometimes the complex human body just doesnt behave or correspond to our schedule but I really it hope it does for you soon. Lastly try not to compare yourselves to others, even though it is so hard not to! My BF fell pregnant on their first month trying, and while I was so happy for her I was also so envious at the same time.

    My husband used to say dont worry about the luck or timing of others because what happens to them has absolutely no impact on our ability to conceive. Its really true, sometimes you just need to remind yourself more often.

    take care

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  8. #607
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    Hello everyone

    Just saying hello.

    I'm 35 and just had my first miscarriage. I'm trying to stay positive and give my body and mind some time to recover.

    Take care everyone.

  9. #608
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    BEKIND: You certainly did Sweetheart, that's for sure.

    Thank you for those kind words. I won't give up. I'm trying to be more postive and upbeat about the whole thing. I know it will happen, it's just a matter of when.

    It is hard to not and try and blame yourself, but you always seem to do that in the back of your mind. It's just a PINA that the body doesn't want to cooperate with you sometimes. I can't help it. AFter trying for so long and then someone else bursts your bubble, it is a bit disheartening. She doesn't know what i've been through unless my MIL told her, but because I don't know her very well (my BIL proposed to her after only dating for 6 months) it's hard to open up to someone unless they've been through my situation such as yourself. But I do give her credit for not flaunting it in my face when she was UTD. I would have spat the dummy otherwise!

    My DH says the same thing. If it happens it happens. Easy for him to say. He can still have kids when he's old and grey whereas I can't. So I really do need to get a wriggle on. But at least i'm trying to take a more mellower stress free approach to it. Hope it works in our favour though.

    Big to you my friend. xx

    ROMA: to our little family. Hope your stay here is a short one.

    I know how you feel. I've had 3 myself and it never gets any easier. Hope that next one is a nice sticky one for you.

    AFM: I'm CD14 and have had a faint line on my OPK's. I'm hoping that tomorrow will be darker as DH comes home tomorrow. I can't believe that this might be the first time in months that he will be home when i'm laying an egg! I'm really excited. I hope that this month is the one for us.

    Well cyclone Bianca bypassed Perth and hit Mandurah and Bunbury this morning. It's sunny with patchy clouds but still very humid and the wind has started to pick up. I'm sweating like crazy just sitting here on the computer. I'm starting to smell like funky old, damp clothes!

    Can't be bothered doing anything today and because of the humidity, i've swollen up again. My shoes feel tight on my feet and I can't take my rings off my fingers. On the upside, i've started taking EPO in the hope that it might help with the swelling and my PMS symptoms. Maybe next AF I might be a bit more human to poor DH if he's home.

    Hope you're all having a nice relaxing sunday. Take care.

  10. #609
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hopefulmum2b View Post

    ROMA: to our little family. Hope your stay here is a short one.

    I know how you feel. I've had 3 myself and it never gets any easier. Hope that next one is a nice sticky one for you.
    Hopefulmum2b - thank you so much. Best of luck to you too.

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    Hi Ladies

    I found us on page 4 so I thought I better bring us back to page 1!

    Hope everyone is doing well.

    Bekind & Riss - I hope you are both loving being mummies

    Lostangel - not long now for you, you must be very excited!

    Jo - still planning that wedding of yours, it's next month isn't it?

    Hopeful - I hope you caught that eggy this month, I have my for you!

    Hi to anyone else I missed

    AFM - well the 12wk scan on Friday went really well and I am so so relieved. Everything seems perfect at this stage and we have told most of our friends and my work. It is nice to have it out in the open but also a bit surreal! I had to watch the dvd of the scan just to check that there is actually a baby in there! I think that I will probably start to show quite soon although for the moment I am just really bloated which is not the best feeling!

    Take care everyone

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