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13-12-2009 22:19 #31
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13-12-2009 22:21 #32
An abundance of unconditional love from as many people as possible.
Oh, and lots of hugs and kisses.
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13-12-2009 22:23 #33
Winner 2009 - The most politically correct member award
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Not that there's a wrong or right answer to this question, but purely for argument's sake:
A "happy, confident" mum is great, but it doesn't necessarily equate to a baby's developmental needs being met - that depends on so many factors, particularly her knowledge, resources and priorities.
A mother who has PND (for instance) but is well supported, informed and resourced can still meet her baby's developmental needs, and where she falters, others can step in without the baby's needs being compromised.
So to sidestep the huge variability that would exist among the parenting effectiveness of "happy, confident" mothers, I try to focus on what babies actually need and how best to help all parents (not just the "happy confident" ones!) meet those needs.
Perhaps if the wording were changed from "happy, confident" parent to "well supported, informed and resourced" parent, I'd place it as a higher priority, too.
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13-12-2009 23:03 #34
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The only thing that is essential is that they are loved unconditionally and are shown that consistently.
The rest is trimming.
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13-12-2009 23:18 #35
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14-12-2009 17:29 #36
Gone but not forgotten
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Thanks for all the responses, its been interesting to read the different perspectives - especially the ones that said not many of the points were all that important.. I wasnt expecting that! Food for thought..
I largely agree with Phyllis - except perhaps in regards to the fulltime parent care at home. I think its importance goes beyond the development of object permanence.. As the baby's first relationship I think its very important the the parent act as a secure base for the child, well beyond the first 12 months.
Oh, and I'd prob put breastmilk lower down the list because I dont think there is enough empirical evidence to suggest that it is imperitive for the child - babies do thrive on formula. I kind of put fresh food and breastmilk in the same category, both are ideal but formula and canned food are ok too..
Whereas there is a lot of evidence that more negative outcomes for babies with depressed mothers, so I would rate mother's happiness higher too.. (although I think the point regarding support is critical too..)
Ok so I guess up the top would be;
Quick responsiveness to baby distress
Happy, confident mum
Fulltime SAHM mum or dad
I'd put breast milk and fresh food next, follwed by access to developmentally appropriate toys.
Then last I'd put socialization with other babies. Not necessary for bubs under 12months but there is some minimal interaction toward the end of the first year..
Finally I'd leave off sleeping through the night, self settling, and cloth nappies because I see them as benficial for parents and the environement, not for bubs as such.
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14-12-2009 21:31 #37
I think the bonds they make are most important.
I think material things are by far the least important, the stupid amounts of toys we buy them when they are just as happy with a wooden spoon.
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14-12-2009 21:36 #38
Being settled when distressed
Having a happy confident mum
And breastmilk
are, in my opinion, the only important ones.
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14-12-2009 22:30 #39
* Having a happy, confident mum
To clarify, maybe not confident, cos that puts too much pressure to know everything but... a mum who's comfortable within herself.
* Being comforted when distressed.
Adding to that having emotional needs met, so also positive validations, attention, love, nurturing, physical contact, etc etc etc etc
* Breastmilk as the main source of nutrition
* Having a fulltime stay-at-home parent (at least for 12 months)
* Socialization with other babies
* Access to a variety of developmentally appropriate toys
* Only being offered totally fresh food (no baby food cans)
* Learning to self-settle
* Sleeping through the night
* Wearing cloth nappies
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14-12-2009 23:05 #40
* Being comforted when distressed
* Breastmilk as the main source of nutrition
* Having a happy, confident mum
* Having a fulltime stay-at-home parent
* Only being offered totally fresh food (no baby food cans)
* Sleeping through the night
* Learning to self-settle
* Wearing cloth nappies
* Socialization with other babies
* Access to a variety of developmentally appropriate toys
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