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  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by KatiesMum View Post

    1 - Happy and confident Mum (and comforting baby when distressed)

    10 - all the rest

  2. #32
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    An abundance of unconditional love from as many people as possible.

    Oh, and lots of hugs and kisses.

  3. #33
    Phyllis Stein is offline Winner 2009 - The most politically correct member award
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    Quote Originally Posted by KatiesMum View Post
    actually to be honest .... i think the ONLY one that is super important is having a happy confident Mum.

    The rest ... is beneficial, but not essential for a happy content and well cared for baby.

    Babies can survive and thrive on formula, they can survive and thrive with dispoisables. Comforted when distressed (while important) comes directly from having a happy confident mum, and while I never did CC and dont beleive in it for me, I dont necessarily see it

    So i guess that means

    1 - Happy and confident Mum (and comforting baby when distressed)

    10 - all the rest
    Not that there's a wrong or right answer to this question, but purely for argument's sake:

    A "happy, confident" mum is great, but it doesn't necessarily equate to a baby's developmental needs being met - that depends on so many factors, particularly her knowledge, resources and priorities.

    A mother who has PND (for instance) but is well supported, informed and resourced can still meet her baby's developmental needs, and where she falters, others can step in without the baby's needs being compromised.

    So to sidestep the huge variability that would exist among the parenting effectiveness of "happy, confident" mothers, I try to focus on what babies actually need and how best to help all parents (not just the "happy confident" ones!) meet those needs.

    Perhaps if the wording were changed from "happy, confident" parent to "well supported, informed and resourced" parent, I'd place it as a higher priority, too.

  4. #34
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    The only thing that is essential is that they are loved unconditionally and are shown that consistently.

    The rest is trimming.

  5. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by FionaV View Post
    The only thing that is essential is that they are loved unconditionally and are shown that consistently.

    The rest is trimming.
    Yes, yes and yes!!

  6. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nomsie View Post
    Oh geez you two, get a room!





    Thanks for all the responses, its been interesting to read the different perspectives - especially the ones that said not many of the points were all that important.. I wasnt expecting that! Food for thought..

    I largely agree with Phyllis - except perhaps in regards to the fulltime parent care at home. I think its importance goes beyond the development of object permanence.. As the baby's first relationship I think its very important the the parent act as a secure base for the child, well beyond the first 12 months.

    Oh, and I'd prob put breastmilk lower down the list because I dont think there is enough empirical evidence to suggest that it is imperitive for the child - babies do thrive on formula. I kind of put fresh food and breastmilk in the same category, both are ideal but formula and canned food are ok too..

    Whereas there is a lot of evidence that more negative outcomes for babies with depressed mothers, so I would rate mother's happiness higher too.. (although I think the point regarding support is critical too..)

    Ok so I guess up the top would be;

    Quick responsiveness to baby distress
    Happy, confident mum
    Fulltime SAHM mum or dad

    I'd put breast milk and fresh food next, follwed by access to developmentally appropriate toys.

    Then last I'd put socialization with other babies. Not necessary for bubs under 12months but there is some minimal interaction toward the end of the first year..

    Finally I'd leave off sleeping through the night, self settling, and cloth nappies because I see them as benficial for parents and the environement, not for bubs as such.

  7. #37
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    I think the bonds they make are most important.
    I think material things are by far the least important, the stupid amounts of toys we buy them when they are just as happy with a wooden spoon.

  8. #38
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    Being settled when distressed
    Having a happy confident mum
    And breastmilk

    are, in my opinion, the only important ones.

  9. #39
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    * Having a happy, confident mum

    To clarify, maybe not confident, cos that puts too much pressure to know everything but... a mum who's comfortable within herself.

    * Being comforted when distressed.

    Adding to that having emotional needs met, so also positive validations, attention, love, nurturing, physical contact, etc etc etc etc

    * Breastmilk as the main source of nutrition
    * Having a fulltime stay-at-home parent (at least for 12 months)
    * Socialization with other babies
    * Access to a variety of developmentally appropriate toys
    * Only being offered totally fresh food (no baby food cans)
    * Learning to self-settle
    * Sleeping through the night
    * Wearing cloth nappies

  10. #40
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    * Being comforted when distressed
    * Breastmilk as the main source of nutrition
    * Having a happy, confident mum
    * Having a fulltime stay-at-home parent
    * Only being offered totally fresh food (no baby food cans)
    * Sleeping through the night
    * Learning to self-settle
    * Wearing cloth nappies
    * Socialization with other babies
    * Access to a variety of developmentally appropriate toys


 

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