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  1. #51
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    Question Reading your threads

    Hi Ladies,

    my marriage is failing and I am about to go into marriage councilling (forced) and I just dont love my husband any longer. There has been too much hurt over the years that I cant get over. I want to leave but people are making it sound like being a single mum is just not possible in this day and age and that I wont survive. Please help me to understand how its done by you very brave women (who I dont think bad about in anyway mind you). I have been dependant on my husband now for 6 yrs and I am so scared because my daughter is 18 months old. I also have a dog and I keep believing that I wont be able to do it but at the same time I am so so depressed and stressed I want the weight lifted off my shoulders from a broken loveless marriage. I hope my post is not offensive in any way to anyone I am just lost and alone and I really dont know where to turn I have no confidence what so ever.

  2. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by Learner Mum View Post
    Hi Ladies,

    my marriage is failing and I am about to go into marriage councilling (forced) and I just dont love my husband any longer. There has been too much hurt over the years that I cant get over. I want to leave but people are making it sound like being a single mum is just not possible in this day and age and that I wont survive. Please help me to understand how its done by you very brave women (who I dont think bad about in anyway mind you). I have been dependant on my husband now for 6 yrs and I am so scared because my daughter is 18 months old. I also have a dog and I keep believing that I wont be able to do it but at the same time I am so so depressed and stressed I want the weight lifted off my shoulders from a broken loveless marriage. I hope my post is not offensive in any way to anyone I am just lost and alone and I really dont know where to turn I have no confidence what so ever.
    Big hugs It's hard but people do manage to get through somehow. I've repartnered but my years as a single mother my son was much better off with me than living in a house with a mum and dad who didn't love each other.

    I think you'll find that once you've organised your own home etc you'll become much more confident, much more independent and be a strong woman Good luck.

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    Learner Mum  (23-08-2011)

  4. #53
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    Thank you so much Benji. Yes our home is tense at the moment I was yelling at the top of my lungs last night and going kind of mad in a sense and it was right in front of my sweetheart who witnessed the whole thing. I just lost control it was all too much for me and I feel so bad. This is happening when ever we are under the same roof now because its just too much. When we are alone (my daughter and I) we are much better and we have more fun. As soon as I even think about him I get anxious and tense!

    Thank you for your response its helped a little xxx

  5. #54
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    Lol this is funny and sadly reflective of what non single parents think.
    After reading the rules i am officially F**d lol.

    I mean obviously getting pregnant while on the pill and leaving my ex because he was abusive (see boiling frog metaphor*) before finding out i was pregnant was part of a master plan.
    And silly skanky me i don't want to pay strangers to put metal objects inside of me and rip my unborn child from my womb.

    No i'm out to make a killing from a man who i have no intention of pursuing for child support or anything else for that matter.
    Lock me up.

    Forget the fact that i am currently studying to better myself i must have planned to get pregnant so i can struggle on a pittance paying private rent for another few years.


    Rule 31#: Deadbeat Dad may cancel his arranged days with his child for any trivial reason, he may give ridiculously short notice, and any plans you have arranged no matter how important are irrelevant.
    ~ Lol i love this one. So true. Happens to me all the time.
    Last edited by laurea; 12-09-2011 at 16:26.

  6. #55
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    Quote Originally Posted by Learner Mum View Post
    Hi Ladies,

    my marriage is failing and I am about to go into marriage councilling (forced) and I just dont love my husband any longer. There has been too much hurt over the years that I cant get over. I want to leave but people are making it sound like being a single mum is just not possible in this day and age and that I wont survive. Please help me to understand how its done by you very brave women (who I dont think bad about in anyway mind you). I have been dependant on my husband now for 6 yrs and I am so scared because my daughter is 18 months old. I also have a dog and I keep believing that I wont be able to do it but at the same time I am so so depressed and stressed I want the weight lifted off my shoulders from a broken loveless marriage. I hope my post is not offensive in any way to anyone I am just lost and alone and I really dont know where to turn I have no confidence what so ever.
    Oh honey i'm so sorry
    You can do it and be ok, you just need some support and encouragment. It will be an adjustment but like Benji said you will actually feel more confident once you're out on your own and out of that situation.

    I have 2 dogs I adore them. I worked in dog rescue for 6 years so if you have an issue with what to do or just just need a temporary foster carer for your dog untill you can find a place to keep him i can give you some numbers. They won't charge you, they are a charity, volunteer based organisation to help people with animals in crisis situations. So if you need help in that area pm me me ok?
    Dogs are such beautiful creatures and love you unconditionally, they're good to have around aren't they?

    You can and will be ok.

  7. #56
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    Quote Originally Posted by Formerly Mick View Post
    As a single dad I can most certainly understand Rule #19.

    Society-at-large seems to think we single Dads are magical creatures, worthy of wonder and amazement.

    I think however that's more to do with the fact that a lot of guys are pathetic in not living up to responsibilities of being a parent, so we are a bit of an anomaly.
    Yep, it's called man claps. Women take their children to the park nobody bats and eye. A man does and people everywhere are like awww what a good dad.

    There is a horrible double standard between fathers and mothers. And like you said the insulting ironic thing is that it exists in the first place because a lot of men don't willingly do these things and or it's the expectation of the mother to.

    I think these rules and attitudes among people who don't know better contribute in a big way to the difficulties of being a single mother.
    No wonder most mums are riddled with guilt no matter what we do.

  8. #57
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    Quote Originally Posted by laurea View Post
    Yep, it's called man claps. Women take their children to the park nobody bats and eye. A man does and people everywhere are like awww what a good dad.
    I call them trans-parents, but I love the term man claps


    Sent from my HTC Incredible S using Bubhub

  9. #58
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    Default New Single Mum

    Well, bloody hell, I'm buggered then! I've just become a single mum, through no choice of my own...

    Oh the joy, I will probably break every rule on there!

  10. #59
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    I have discovered a new rule that is not in the list (someone correct me if I'm wrong and it's already there):

    Single Mums are not entitled to privacy. Ever. If you ask someone to look after your child or if you ask to change arrangements with FOB, you MUST give all details of where you are going, who you will be with, what you will be doing and why you cannot take your child with you. FOB/babysitter can then evaluate whether your request is for a legitimate purpose or whether you are just "going out to enjoy yourself" which is not allowed and therefore the request must be denied.

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    Benji  (16-09-2011),StienTheBean  (22-09-2011)

  12. #60
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    Quote Originally Posted by shelle65 View Post
    I have discovered a new rule that is not in the list (someone correct me if I'm wrong and it's already there):

    Single Mums are not entitled to privacy. Ever. If you ask someone to look after your child or if you ask to change arrangements with FOB, you MUST give all details of where you are going, who you will be with, what you will be doing and why you cannot take your child with you. FOB/babysitter can then evaluate whether your request is for a legitimate purpose or whether you are just "going out to enjoy yourself" which is not allowed and therefore the request must be denied.
    Oh yeah i agree.


 

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