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  1. #1
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    Cool The Rules for Single Mums

    Mods can you please make a sticky

    As discussed and composed in this thread, here is a complete list of rules for being a single mum. All new single mums, should afterall know the rules.

    Please reply stating that you will always adhere to said rules. Breaking the rules means that skankfractions will apply


    Rules of Being a Single Mother


    Rule#1: You must be super duper nice to your ex at all times. If you're not, you are trying to turn your child against him. Even if your ex calls you a "sl*t" in front of your child, you must smile politely, say thanks and carry on. If you ever retaliate, it is YOUR fault and YOU are trying to manipulate your child.

    Rule#2: You and only you are financially responsible for your child. If you dare ever go out and get your hair done or, heaven forbid, buy yourself a semi decent car, you are using your ex for his very, very high child support payments and neglecting your child’s needs!

    Rule#3: If you ever dare try to complain to the CSA expect nothing because they don't care. You are wasting valuable time and recourses woman! If you try to have a cry on the shoulder of another single mum, expect to be told "too bad" and hear pity stories of how much someone's friend of a friend of a friend has to pay in child support to a woman who takes drugs.

    Rule#4: Do not ever under any circumstances introduce your child to a man you have been dating for a short period of time. In fact, what am I saying?! Do NOT date. You are not allowed to get a babysitter and fob your child off to your mother because you want to go out! You must commit the crime of being a single mum forever because, of course, it was your fault!! In fact, don't talk to other men, because you are obviously trying to pick them up and have another baby to them to trick them into paying child support.

    Rule#5: Don't ever have a tough moment. If you feel sad, depressed, stressed, you are obviously not coping and you need desperate help because, you know, we've all read those statistics about single mums and how hopeless we are!! Sheesh - we're even more likely to be POOR than other parents. Who would've thought?!

    Rule#6: Dress appropriately at all times. In other words, don't look poor. If you do, you are a lower class single mum who is "sponging" off the government and using the payments for drugs and alcohol. Try not to look too nice though (see rule #4).

    Rule#7: Probably the most important rule of all - don't ever tell a stranger you are not married. I don't need to explain this one because we've all made this mistake!

    Rule#8: If you do work or study, expect to get slammed for putting your child into child care and letting other people raise your child.

    Rule#9: If you have the mistaken belief that your baby deserves to have a SAHM just like all the kids of married people, expect to get slammed for not getting a job or studying to support or better yourself.

    Rule#10: Don't ever complain about the treatment you receive from Centrelink or CSA because you should be grateful to get it at all.

    Rule#11: Seeing that you live on the Governments largess, your financial affairs should be open to public scrutiny. Everybody else has the right to question just exactly how your are spending their hard earned tax dollars...

    Rule#12: Do not talk to your friends’ husbands or boyfriends, because you are single and you talk to them you are instantly flirting and want to have an affair.

    Rule#13: Should you break Rule #4 and actually start dating a man, then you are automatically rorting the system by illegally claiming benefits.

    Rule#14: Should you break rule #4 also expect that someone in your new man's family (or mates) will automatically assume you are a gold digger and trying to either ride the gravy train, get pregnant or take him for all he's worth. (He couldn't possibly like you and your kids; you are obviously good for just one thing after all...)

    Rule#15: - if you have more than 1 child then you are clearly (and obviously) popping out kid after kid to secure more benefits and so you don't have to go to work.

    Rule#16: - If you are single then it was your own fault because you clearly did not work hard enough to keep your family together. How dare you decide that his violence, cheating and maltreatment was enough to deprive your child of their father.

    Rule#17: - Never forget that single parents can't cope! We can't be good parents and we can't be anything other than neglectful. If someone is patronising towards us and tells us how it must be so hard and that we must be struggling enormously then we must agree with them and beg them to help us!!!! Because as I said, single mums are not able to cope and are ALWAYS living within a bubble of desperation at all time......If we think we are "coping just fine" we mustn't forget that it is actually denial and that we are not coping at all!

    Rule#18: - no single mum actually LIKES being single! If we are single then it must mean that we are desperate for a boyfriend/husband. So therefore we have no right to be picky or choosy about who we decide to become romantic with. We must be grateful for any man who wants to sleep with us....we must allow him to treat us like garbage and use us for sex because we "shouldn't expect anything else". Any guy who shows us the time of day deserves to be showered with praise and admired for his ability to "love a single mother".....we must never be lax in showing our eternal gratitude!!!!

    Rule#19: - Single mums need to remember that there is a difference between a single mum and a single dad. A single mum is a leech on society; she is a ***** who cannot keep her legs closed. She is a neglectful parent who had children for the government benefits and so she could reap the benefits of child support!! A single dad is a hero! he should be praised and clapped and be showered with accolades for "stepping up to the plate".

    Rule#20: Your child must be available at all times to see their father whenever and however it is convenient to him. If you do not cancel plans or change your life to revolve around his access you are destroying the magical bond between deadbeat dad and child.

    Rule#21: - should you happen to break #4 (all sorts of nasty things happen to single mums who break rule #4), you want your new partner that you have dated for one week to automatically adopt your children. Why else would you be dating other than to find your child a dad?

    Rule#22: - Do not tell a man you do not know whilst out at a club or bar "I'm a single mum". This may be misinterpreted through all the noise and music as : "I am willing to sleep with you tonight". Actually, this statement may be misinterpreted thus by any man you meet, anywhere, as these two phrases sound very similar.

    Rule#23. When you get pregnant to FOB and FINALLY actually get a clue that this person isn't really that nice, actually he is emotionally abusive and you don't want to be with him anymore accept that fobs family are going to treat you like crap as you should stay with him and accept his crap.

    Rule#24: Actually now that you have left him, you are now are a skanky hoe who just wanted a baby and seeing as you DONT want to be with him anymore and put up with said crap you can jolly well cope on your own. DO NOT expect an ounce of financial, emotional or any other type of support. You made your bed, now lay in it.
    Last edited by BH-KatiesMum; 03-12-2009 at 14:55.

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    Rule# 25: - All income gleaned from the government and child support is only to be used to DIRECTLY purchase things for the child(ren). We are not allowed to spend a cent of it on ourselves or on indirect child rearing costs if we will benefit from it in anyway. This includes clothing, household furniture and medications for ourselves - and the fact that shoes come in handy when shopping for food for the child is irrelevant and cannot be used as an excuse.

    Rule#26: - It's generous and loving for a non-single parent to buy lots of toys, nice clothing etc for their child. If a single parent spends more than $30 over the course of the year on children’s' toys it's bad money management and we should remember that centrelink benefits are for essentials only!

    Rule#27: - single parents are not allowed to spend their benefits on a bottle of wine to have with dinner because benefits are for essentials only (see rule #26). Make-up or hair products are also not allowed!

    Rule#28: - Only partnered parents are allowed to whinge about their children and how hard it can be to parent sometimes. If a single mother whinges at anytime then clearly that is evidence that she doesn't really love her children and only sees the kids as a meal ticket and a free ride!!!!

    Rule#29: Any man showing interest in you, isn’t really interested in you at all, but using you as a means to get to your children so that he can take advantage of them. So, to protect your children, don't forget rule #4.

    Rule#30: When someone else wants you to attend some event, you must get a sitter so that you can tag along, even if you don't want to, 'cause you have to take some time out for yourself. However, if it is something you would like to do, refer to rules #8 and #11.

    Rule 31#: Deadbeat Dad may cancel his arranged days with his child for any trivial reason, he may give ridiculously short notice, and any plans you have arranged no matter how important are irrelevant.

    Rule#32: - single mums are ******. That's how they got into that position. However, the skankiness level of the single mum increases as her age decreases.

    Rule#33: - single mums to be are ****** and could not possibly have being in a serious relationship/de facto/married when they fell pregnant. These things do not happen to proper, good women.

    Rule#34: Should you commit a cardinal sin and have kids to more than one FOB, accept that this is proof that society is right about all what they think about SM's.

    Rule#35: If the ex pays maintenance, you should grovel at his feet thank goodness he is a wonderful parent. Even if it is $3.36 a week...this money is worth more than anything you ever do in time or energy for your child? You stayed up all night with the vomiting child? So what, you ex paid you $2.20 maintenance last week...he is obviously a better person. Money (or testicles) trumps a mothers effort every time - now just you remember that!

    Rule#36: You must not have a life and move away from the father, you must stay so that he can have his contact whenever he wants. You can't start a new life with a new partner. But the FOB is allowed to move wherever he wants to. He can move, as far as he wants. He can move overseas if he wants. He is a father, so therefore he may not want a relationship with his child - and that is fine. Just make sure if he returns, you go out of your way to please him and his wishes and take the kids to visit him at his request, no matter how often and for what reason.

    Rule#37: Of course you must never question or complain to your ex that he missed a c/s payment. Don’t you know that the engagement party he went to and had to spend $200 on a present for, automatically cancels out his kids eating and living for a week?

    Rule#38: Make sure that you buy the morning after pill in bulk, it will save you money and you won't have to embarrass yourself when you are known as a regular down the chemist, cause yanno, us single mums like to go out and party and have unprotected sex every weekend.

    Rule#39: You will pay for the sins of every single mother who has stepped out of line. That includes a friend of a friend of a husband of someone's friend who is being denied access to their child, single mums who have resorted to silly things to make money, the single mum on the show "two and a half men"...

    Rule#40: As soon as one becomes a single mother, she must immediately purchase a Plasma with her baby bonus money or government money. You must not let down the other single mothers as we have a reputation for buying plasmas and we have a reputation to keep up.

    Rule#41: You must be humble at all times, never show disinterest or dislike in another person’s car/ property/ wealth or you are just jealous.

    Rule#42: Enjoy all the benefits you get because we all know everyone is far better off on the pension, and that single mums are raking it in. That is why women are leaving their husbands in droves, because they could drink champagne and live a lavish lifestyle if only it wasn't for the rules.

    Rule#43: - Don't forget that if your ex decides to have another child with his new girlfriend/wife that you mustn't expect for him to continue to support your child! Why should he have to support his prior children when he has a new family? That is what centrelink is for!!!!

    Rule#44: Your ex has the right to deny paternity of the child and refuse to see them until they get a DNA and make you chase them for CS for 2 years. But afterwards you must still treat them like father of the year once the court order for child support goes through (and he complies with the order).

    Rule# 45: You must acknowledge that raising children is not a "job" and you must not treat it as such! You must not ever discuss feeling underappreciated or under paid because you chose to have the child and it's not society's fault that you haven't worked out a way to live on fresh air and love alone!

    Rule#46: if there is no daycare available so you can go to work and stop "bludging" then it just means that you are not looking hard enough - long waiting lists and inadequate numbers of carers/centres/options is a poor excuse for not "paying your own way".

    Rule#47: Remember that Mary Jones down the road who is married has every right to look down on you because it's obviously your own fault that you are single! SHE will never become single and will never need welfare because she is smart and would never be so stupid as to pick an inadequate partner to have a child with. Her husband loves her and would never leave her - you are the one with the problem!

    Rule#48: Any tax you have paid previously and/or will in the future is irrelevant to the fact that you now claim welfare and are now living off the tax paid coffers. However tax paid by married mothers in the past and/or future and the tax paid by their husbands IS relevant when discussing middle class welfare! Middle class welfare (ie FTB, CCB) given to those who don't (strictly) need it = OK. Welfare given to single parents who are the poorest people amongst society = NOT OK.

    Rule#49: When hearing about a child who has been abused and/or neglected the very first thought should be that he is from a family headed by a sole mother - children of "intact" families simply don't get abused and/or neglected. Criminal behaviour should also provoke the same thought.......

    Rule#50: - if a child of an "intact" family is found to be a little turd then they simply must be a spirited child and "who knows what went wrong?". If a child of a single parent is a little turd then it's obviously a case of inadequate parenting!

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  5. #3
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    I Mummy2R&K do solemnly swear to adhere by the Rules for being a single mum.

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    I, Angela, do swear to abide by the rules.

    Unfortunately I did break rule #4, but I promise I fell in love accidentally

    I still don't complain officially about not receiving child support, I don't buy anything for myself EVER and still pay for my sins as a single mum

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    What happens if we get a "skankfraction"? Do we just get ostracised and reviled? Become a Pariah? Or do we suffer far more inhumane punishment? Like having the "smug marrieds" repeatedly hit us in the ankles with their shopping trolleys full of gourmet food?

    I, Katie do solemnly declare that I will abide by the rules of the "single Mother" and if I shall so break even a single rule I will submit to my trolley/ankle bashing without even so much as mentioning my inability to purchase shoes with my government funds to cushion the blow of the trolley.

  8. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by ConfettiGirl View Post
    What happens if we get a "skankfraction"? Do we just get ostracised and reviled? Become a Pariah? Or do we suffer far more inhumane punishment? Like having the "smug marrieds" repeatedly hit us in the ankles with their shopping trolleys full of gourmet food?

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    Quote Originally Posted by chellegoth View Post
    Well dears, I am a rebel and I endevour to break many of these rules


    It is single mums like you that give us a bad name missy.

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    Shmoooooooosh! AKA jaxcoop
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    Oh you forgot the most important one that i had in the other thread

    Rule #39

    As soon as one becomes a single mother, she must immediately purchase a Plasma with her baby bonus money or government money. You must not let down the other single mothers as we have a reputation for buying plasmas and we have a reputation to keep up.

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    Quote Originally Posted by jaxcoop View Post
    Oh you forgot the most important one that i had in the other thread

    Rule #39

    As soon as one becomes a single mother, she must immediately purchase a Plasma with her baby bonus money or government money. You must not let down the other single mothers as we have a reputation for buying plasmas and we have a reputation to keep up.
    It's there as #40 because the numbering was out of order on the other one

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    I must disagree with the "buying the morning after pill in bulk" though.....

    Don't single mothers TRY and get pregnant? To increase their government haul?

    The baby bonus only goes so far and only buys so many wine-in-a-boxes!!!

    Also how else are we to get a plasma for every room in the house - including the laundry! And don't forget we need to equip each plasma with a Wii, X-box 360 and a surround sound system. This requires many baby bonuses!!!!

    And if we don't get pregnant how else are we supposed to "trap" our men and force them into being with us? (since we have no other redeeming qualities). At least for a little while until they see sense and realise we are only out for their money and decide that they no longer want a relationship with us (but continued sex is ok). Then it's onto the next guy - get pregnant etc.

    Or do we just buy the morning after pill to allay suspicion? Because we all know how single mothers are amoral and deceptive, what's a little lie added to the mix? Gives the FOB more to whinge about to his mates (how he was "trapped" etc).
    Last edited by ConfettiGirl; 30-11-2009 at 22:14.


 

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