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  1. #51
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    Hi,

    We've been going for 22 months now. it is so great to hear from other mums still feeding beyond 12 months.

    The early days for us were very hard and painful, I got mastitis early on which led to an abscess which required surgery. We comp fed until my breast healed and my supply built up again. Once we got past that, breastfeeding has been wonderful and a great mothering tool.

    I do have a question for you all though, when and if you night weaned, and how to do it gently?

    I am seriously considering night weaning, my DD is a big comfort sucker (she can go for hours, usually from 3.30am til 7am while she sleeps/dozes. I work part-time and it is starting to get quite tiring, otherwise, I love our breast feeding relationship.

    Mind you, now that she's nearly two, if she chose to stop I think I'd be happy with that as well, though it would take some getting used to.

    Probably like others, I also get lots of negative comments about feeding a toddler, a lot of people seem to think its "freaky", I hope one day it becomes normalised again.

  2. #52
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    http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp

    Daily diversion, I used the above technique and it worked a treat, minimal fussing.

    You will find regression on occasion? DS very recently had a return to wanting to feed HOURLY - (see my freakout thread lol) but he went back to being happy to go without boob within a few days.... (until we hit 4.30am anyway).

    It's 4 months later, and he still wakes regularly 2-3 time a night, but doesn't demand boob to resettle. The first time I generally just touch his back and he falls back asleep, or he does so by himsef.. the second time usually requires about 20 seconds of crying and back tapping. It's amazing how 20 seconds can seem like forever?

    (But as I said, presumably because of something going on for him... sore teeth? now and then he regresses back to insisting on night feeding but it seems like his baseline is now that he is okay to go without during the night, but does require resettling another way ie having his back tapped).

    (When I am agonisingly tired I sometimes feed him anyway when he wakes, and then when I go back to not wanting to feed him atnight he is happy witha back rub... same with the teething feeding, after he is finished he goes back to being happy without).

    Excuse essay lol.

    He was previously feeding hourly until I used the technique in above link... I think it must have just broken an ingrained association for him.

    Anywa you do what you think best, the night feeding can be totally OTT

  3. #53
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    Woah, awesome thread. We are 25 months and still breastfeeding once to sleep and once at about 5 in the morning (which is me trying to delay her getting out of bed so I can get a couple of minutes more zzzzz's - we are cosleepers). I very, very much feel like I'm a closet extended BFer these days. I don't know ANYONE who's even made it to 12 months let alone past the two year stage. I am very proud that we have gone so far but I know that society in general doesn't really cope so well with extended BF so I guess I don't particularly promote it (don't confuse this with me being ashamed as I certainly am not ashamed - just not shouting it from the rooftops)!!!

    Thing is though, I'm a little bit over it. Not a lot over it, but I can feel myself sighing a little bit each time she starts asking (except she's started to tell me that she wants just "one special boob - just one little bit specially for me" and hold up her two fingers to indicate a little bit - which is lovely but she does love to say that line when we have friends around). I love the relationship I have with my DD and I love the close time (especially since I work full time and she gets all day to hang out with DH). All this said, after 25 months, I wouldn't be unhappy if she decided to wean. I think my main trauma is not that she's still going (as I said, I do love it) but that she is showing absolutely utterly no signs whatsoever of EVER wanting to stop. Yes I appreciate that she won't be BF still when she's in college and I should enjoy this time, but sometimes she's such a ravenous fiend that I wonder is she would actually be BF in college given half a chance

    So my question is, those who have self-weaned at 3 (which a lot of the earlier posts mentioned), how did it happen? Suddenly? Months long wind down?

  4. #54
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    Hi, hi

    'Still' feeding my 18 month old I fed my oldest until she self-weaned at 23 months, and will continue to feed my wee bubba DS until he wants to stop - hopefully that will be closer to his 3rd birthday than his 2nd like his sister!

    Quote Originally Posted by demeter View Post
    I have a question for those of you who have been doing this longer than I. I am finding that lately DD is not getting a great latch most of the time. It's painful and she has a mighty suck so it's hard to remove her. Do you find that the latch gets bad over time? I was wondering if maybe it has something to do with their changing mouths/teeth? Or is my DD getting slack and needs some encouragement to latch properly?
    I certainly notice when DS is teething that his latch goes out a bit, but also when he's bored, or wanting to look at other stuff, or just sometimes for no particular reason. I just say "ow ow!" (quietly, not loudly or harshly or anything!), and take him off (insert a finger at the side of H's mouth if she doesn't want to come off on her own, to break the seal), and the let him re-attach. He always seems to put himself back on better than he was the first time.


    Quote Originally Posted by demeter View Post
    And those of you whose menstrual cycles have returned. Do you find your breasts become more sensitive in the week leading into your new cycle? That could be a contributing factor...
    Yes! And around when I'm ovulating too. They actually get really sore when I'm ovulating and for the first couple of days of my period too. I imagine it'd be a similar pain for me if I fell pregnant while still breastfeeding (but obviously don't know for sure!). It certainly puts me off falling pregnant while breastfeeding though!

  5. #55
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    Thanks so much for that link Maire, it's hard to get information about night weaning a toddler. In the last few days we've been trying short feeds with DH rocking or walking her back to sleep to try to combat her marathon feeding/comfort sucking sessions overnight. We do partially co-sleep but as she gets older and bigger we are all getting less sleep.

    It seems to be slowly improving, she was def not impressed the first night. I can only hope it leads to better sleep all around. It's nice to know it's not an "either or" situation either ie. weaning completely.

  6. #56
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    demeter is offline Breastfeeding since 2008, tandem since 2010 (Free Breastfeeding Support: 1800 686 2 686)
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    Quote Originally Posted by TKK View Post
    So my question is, those who have self-weaned at 3 (which a lot of the earlier posts mentioned), how did it happen? Suddenly? Months long wind down?
    Sorry I can't help with that, I'm only on my first and she's not slowing down at all yet. Maybe someone else can help...

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    Can I just ask a question of everybody, Noah like to bite every now and then which ABSOLUTELY KILLS! The problem is, when he does I have no way of getting him off, the only thing that sometimes works is If I say "oh wheres the birdy" like a trillion times to distract him and get him to pull off and look away. I'm too scared to try and pry him off in case he munches down more. Like if I pull away he just clamps down, but i want him to learn that he cant bite me! Whats a good way to take them off, or is there even a way? Or what do you guys do when you get bitten? Thanks!

  8. #58
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    My little guy is coming up to 22months and 'still' feeding. The word we use for a feed is the one used in my DH's language which was lovely and discreet for here because no-one would know what he was loudly demanding. This backfired a couple of months ago when we went to India!

    There we were with constant visitors and DS wanting to breastfeed constantly (he upped his feeds heaps, I'm guessing for comfort in a strange environment, plus it was very hot so he was probably thirsty). Fortunately my relatives were fine with it - to the point where sometimes I would be over it and trying to distract him and even my father-in-law would be laughing and say awwww feed the poor lil guy. I found though I started to resent it because overnight he went back to feeding for hours at a time and if I'd try to cut it down he'd scream, waking my DS1, so I really resented feeding him to the point it was painful but feeling I had no choice.

    Sooo...when we got back to Australia i started working on night weaning him - I would just offer him lots of comfort and ask him if he was thirsty and would he like a drink - sometimes he accepted this, other times he was disgusted! He now feeds to go to sleep at night and when he wakes in the morning - he LOVES these feeds and really snuggles in. I love the night feed sitting on the lounge especially, we gaze at each other and i think how comforting it must be for him, this thing he has been doing since we first met, when he was just minutes old. He strokes my face and rubs his hand over my belly.

    We had a really rough start to bfeeding - he was medicated for silent reflux till 12months, had his adenoids out at 11.5 months. Feeding didnt become easy till he was about 9months and I had to stand up to health professionals who blamed my feeding him on his difficulty gaining weight - hard not say "told you so" when he put on 2.5kgs withing 7 weeks of his operation!!

    Demeter - sometimes DS latch isnt great, I think they get so good at milking the breast too that they don't need to be so exact in their latch to get milk so they and us get lazy. Our little ones are about the same age and what I find works best is actually talking to my DS about it. I just say 'bub that's hurting mama, could you stop for a minute?' Then I make sure he relatches properly.

    I find especially with him being my second I consider him so much 'my baby' still that it doesnt seem at all old to be feeding - I forget that others see him as a walking talking little boy. Whereas with my DS1 I was more self-conscious about feeding at this age, I'm kind of oblivious with DS2

  9. #59
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    Em - the only way to get a biting baby off is to stick your finger down the side of their gum down to the back of their gums so you can lever the gums open... this also breaks hte suction for a bad latch. I have become expert at this as DS is a biter. Trying to move away will just give you very sore nipples.

    Re self weaning - I fed my daughter til she was 4-ish and I don't believe much of the weaning was instigated by her. I myself did the majority of the slowing down.. (distracting her, limiting opportunites, etc) until by the age of I think just 4, I weaned her last feeds (morning and night)by just cuddling her instead. I don't think there was any sharp break in feeding anywhere, it was all a very slow process. But the thing is... I have to wonder whether she ever would have stopped those last feeds herself? I assume yes.. but maybe sometimes it just comes down to the mother? Not sure how it works with other mammals...

  10. #60
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    Ds was just sitting in my daughter's lap (she is nearly 11) and was pulling down her shirt and saying 'bibby, bibby' !!! Oh dear...


 

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