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  1. #21
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    Lucky2bMum

    I agree completely with you. I think maturity plays a huge part in how you cope with anything life throws at you, including pregnancy. Things that would have worried me 20 years ago are just so insignificant now. Mind you, I have neurotic, depressed moments like every other pregnant woman, and actually today is one of those days. But....that's all part of being pregnant so I just tell myself it's normal and continue on my way. The IVF drugs aren't helping much either but only 8 days left of them, hooray!!!!!

    Would love to hear from everyone else....

    LuckyAPA

  2. #22
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    Oh Lucky! I hear you!! I carried a stick in my pocket through both pregnancies, just so I could touch wood every time I thought about my baby!

    It will be easier when you can feel the baby move ... sort of

  3. #23
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    Hi, not much to update with from me.

    Feeling a little fragile for all sorts of reasons. Not the least of which is being asked by FS to consider an egg donor. I know he is being pro active and won't stop me from continuing to try myself, but was still thrown by it.

    As I've already mentioned here, have had 3 IUI's, 2 EPU's with a dozen eggs each with good fertilization rates, first go I got 5 to day 3 and second go I got to day 5 with 2 blasties and 1 morula. My first ET ended with a chemical pregnancy and I'm about to do my first FET.

    I know of many women who have been through more than this and ended up with BFP's!!

    Anyway, I should try not to be so put off by the thought, I know he's just trying to open my world to get me to the end result by whatever means. I need to just get over myself!

    Loving hearing about your journeys. It all gives me such hope that I'll be joining you soon!

    Although my FS also tells me not to hold out much hope for my FET to work (damn I hated statistics at uni and I hate them even more now!), I am more than happy to prove them wrong!

    Kismet, I heard you posting about visualisation meditation while you were PUPO! What a great idea. Definately getting on to that!

  4. #24
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    Hi PennyPC,
    I've been following your thread here and just wanted to offer you on your BFn.. Its so b***** unfair
    I turned the big 40 this year and when I was cycling we moved towns and I saw a new FS. He also suggested an ED and was quite pessimistic. This just makes you feel so much worse.. they really ought to try and be a bit more positive!!
    I ended changing FS as this one was not for me.. and BINGO BFP, that was my 2nd full cycle and 3 rd attempt, a blasto, I had 7 eggs and 2 made it to blasto, 2 transferd but one didnt make it.
    My advice would be try as much as you can to not dwell on the awful stats, and just make sure your looking after yourself as best as you can to get that BFP. Good luck

  5. #25
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    Thanks Jo! Hearing that really helps. Big congrats on your BFP!

    How many weeks are you?

  6. #26
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    PennyPC - I'm so sorry to hear your news.
    I think we have to listen to our FS to a certain degree but not let what they say overly influence our decisions. I remember the first appointment we had with ours, he had all my medical history on an A4 piece of paper, up in the right hand corner was the number 43, my age. We would chat about our options for a while and he would tap the number 43 with his pen and look at me sternly. He gave us all the abyssmal statistics...and then tap the number 43 with his pen and look at me sternly again. If I had listened to anyone in the medical profession, we would not have attempted IVF, we would not have used our own sperm/eggs and I would not be pregnant right now. The thing you need to remember about statistics is that they are just numbers...and they don't include any information about YOU so therefore how can they give YOU a true indication of whether something will work for YOU. I think we over 40's need to prove the statistics wrong!!!!!

    Jo101 - Congrats to you. What week are you now?

    I'm now 11 weeks. The fatigue is fast disappearing. I'm feeling on top of the world actually. The worrying continues though.....I guess it will forever now....

    LuckyAPA

  7. #27
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    Hi Lucky,

    Becoming a first time mum at age 42 made me curious to have a quick look in this thread (hope you don't mind as my bub was naturally conceived after having been told my only hope of a successful pregnancy at my age was IVF).

    Anyway I just wanted to wish you all the best for the rest of the pregnancy.

    I too had no morning sickness. From what I've read that is pretty common with older mums to be. Not sure why that is but I'm presuming it's a hormonal thing. At least there is one advantage for most of us older mums to be.

    I had a few negative things said to me during my pregnancy. One lady said "I think you are so brave going through a pregnancy at your age". I still don't know what she meant by that.

    The other negatives came from the first OB I saw. She asked me if I had heaps of sick & annual leave up my sleeve as I'd be needing it. She said that I would almost certainly be off work from 30 weeks due to age related complications. I worked full time right up to 37 weeks & never had any pregnancy complications whatsoever..... just the usual discomforts that pretty much everyone whatever their age gets. I felt wonderful up until probably the last week or two of the pregnancy.

    I switched OB's & got treated exactly the same as all the young mums to be.

    I didn't look pregnant til at least half way through the pregnancy & it shocked a lot of people when I announced it. I actually got to enjoy the shock that it gave people. Pretty much everyone was happy for me though.

    You will probably find that negative comments will stop after you have your bub. Suddenly we get seen as being younger when we have a babe in arms & instead people ask when we are having our next .

    I found my worries increased when I had the NT scan (1/37 DS risk) but were less after the amnio..... but the worries did not end entirely until my son was in my arms. All the negative stuff you read about age related complications do stay in your mind no matter how much you try to banish them.

    I read somewhere recently that it is now thought that the complication rates for older mums to be (40+) has been somewhat exaggerated. I think that is great news for all of you posting in here.

  8. #28
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    Hi there,

    It really peeves me when our age is brought up by medicos and judgemental people. If you are fit and healthy at 40+ why should statistics matter? My FS was trying to suggest ED before my last cycle, but I insisted I wasn't ready to give up on myself yet, that I can still manage to get at least 1 or sometimes 2 good quality embryos, so why would I? Then I got my BFP, totally shocked by it b/c I was beginning to believe in the stats.
    I will tell you a story about a friend of a friend. Last xmas this 50 year old woman (yes 50) was admitted to hospital with unbearable pain and 1 hour later a baby boy was born & totally healthy, she didn't even know she was pregnant, thought she was going through the change - of course she was overweight so didn't notice the big belly crop up and didn't feel any movement from the baby so had absolutely no idea. Fancy that - going on a holiday camping and coming home with a baby. So, strange & unexpected things can happen, so why are people so easy to give up on us b/c of our age, it's just a number? You just never know what your body is capable of, my last cycle was the best I've had since my 1st & 2nd ones & I've had 12 cycles all up and I'm 2 years older!

    AFM update - still having regular blood tests to check on my hcg and prog levels. HCG still rising but slowed down by yesterday, it was 4495, was expecting it to be about 8000 by then, so not sure what's going on and have to hang out for my scan next week, it's driving me crazy. Have been a little tired & sense of smell is very strong, some things are really bothering me but that's about it, no sickness, nor are my boobs particularly sore either.

    LuckyAPA - sounds like a lovely pregnancy, enjoy it.

  9. #29
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    Thanks guys. Your thoughts are inspiring.

    Lucky - I love your work! I'm convinced I'm going to keep going (and your story really did help!). I'm going to use Kismet's idea of visualising - and I'm visualising telling my FS how very wrong he was telling me my FET was unlikely to work as DP and I look at the scan of our baby.

    Amara - that's a fantastic story. Do you mind if I ask a personal question? Please ignore if it's too personal. How long did you TTC for? I only ask because our major issue (that we know of) is DP's low sperm count. And I keep thinking that each transfer is like one month of trying naturally and it can often take people a few goes of trying naturally before they conceive can't it?

    Kismet - People like to judge a lot don't they? Because I already have a 24 year old, people often say to me - "well you've already had your family, you wouldn't be crazy enough to go back again would you?". They are always shocked and dismayed when I say - "Yes, if I could, I would - as being a mum was the most satisfying job I've ever had and I never intended to only have one child".

    Because my DP is ten years younger (yep, I'm probably also judged as a Cougar! ) and everyone who meets DP knows what a fabulous dad he would make, most who know we are on this journey think we are only doing it for him. It takes those closest to us to realise this is something we both want as much as each other. DP's dad said to us last week, "I keep trying to figure out which one of you is more into this, and I just can't. You both want this just so much!"

    I agree, age is just a number. And my theory is you are only as old as the man you have in your arms!

    So, I'm happily taking my DHEA (just in case I need it next year - which I won't), my steroids and my blood thinners and all my other conconctions and I'm feeling much stronger!

    On an off IVF note, my DP's dad is helping start some kitchen renos today so I'm very excited!

    And I'm now researching flights for our trip to China in mid Feb. Can't wait for that trip. I get to meet a fabulously important person in my life! Will tell you all about it next time!

    Kismet - hope those bloods give you the numbers you want tomorrow! I'm throwing all the positive vibes I can your way. When's your scan?

    Have a lovely day my fabulous over 40's guys and gals.

  10. #30
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    Hi girls,

    Just wrote a message and lost it all so here goes again -short & sweet though!

    Thanks LuckyAPA -great inspirational thread for us 40yrs +
    Congratulations to Kismet (I remember reading your journey with other girls months ago..fantastic news for you - you deserve it - happy xmas!)
    Congratulation to Jo too - its all so inspirational.
    Hugs to Penny C - I hope you get through this and lookforward to your FET coming up. Best of luck.

    I try not to read into the stats too much as it just makes me lose hope and at the end of the day - strange things happen, miracles happen and I need my hope. Its hard enough waiting anxiously for egg numbers, to how many fertilised then to IF they make it to blast..then the TWW - pity I can't have a valium - its awful. So as with people comments - stuff them!!! - everyone has challenges in all parts of life.

    AFM After 4 full stimmed failed cycles and in my 5th cycle - I'm in the TWW. I can't feel anything. BT next week...Not feeling positive anymore as I am just so use to this not working. Not good to think this and I fear I will create it not happening!!!!! Did the colorada protocol. 1mg Dexamethasone, clexane, progesterone injections..etc..anyone know why I'm on Dex instead of prednisone which everyone else seems to be on?..

    What protocol did your FS do to get you your BFP?..i read its a numbers game...the more cycles you do...the more chances you are likely to fall pregnant..is this true?
    Hi to everyone!!!!


 

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