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  1. #1
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    Red face Hi everyone. I'm new and needing some help please

    Hello all,

    I will do an intro shortly. Sorry, just need a vent first

    I have a friend who is confusing me no-end.

    He continually thinks I am offended by everything he says and seems to want to pick a fight with me all the time. I don't know if its because he wants a reaction or why but it is getting too draining for me to keep this so-called friendship up.
    Why would someone who is supposed to be your friend, want to constantly pick a fight?

    He is otherwise a really decent, kind person. I am just dealing with enough of my own issues right now and am at the end of my rope. Any ideas?

  2. #2
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    Hi welcome to bubhub!!

    I would just tell him to back off & leave you alone, if he doesn't have anything nice to say to you. Be honest, if he still doesn't back off, avoid him for a while & see if he gets the message.

  3. #3
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    Hi and welcome to bubhub!

    As for your friend: I would actually call it as you see it - Tell him he seems to constantly think you're offended, although you haven't been but that its wearing on you. Ask him if there's anything he's feeling insecure about at the moment, and let him know that you can't keep reassuring him that everything's okay - its just too exhausting.

    If that doesn't work, tell him you need a break for a while!

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    Thank you girls..and thanks for the welcome

    I do think he is very insecure and I have no idea why. He seems to get upset if I make friends with other people. Strange I know. I have never done anything to rise a distrust between us.

    I don't know how he would take me confronting him. I suspect he would get angry, but that is not my fault. I just wish I could make him see that I not out to hurt him and that he would trust me.

    Sorry, not the ideal first thread..

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    Sounds like he may need to grow up abit. That is no way to treat a friend. I wonder if he treats all his friends like this or are you the only one who will put up with it? Maybe you do need a break from each other.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Fencesitter
    Sorry, not the ideal first thread..
    Don't stress about it - Bubhub's all about support, and a bit of fun!

    Ummm, as for your friend, I really do think he sounds insecure, and as KM said, immature. If you do decide to confront him, I'd also add in there that this seems to be his issue, as you have no problem with him, IYKWIM.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fencesitter
    I do think he is very insecure and I have no idea why. He seems to get upset if I make friends with other people. Strange I know. I have never done anything to rise a distrust between us.

    I don't know how he would take me confronting him. I suspect he would get angry, but that is not my fault. I just wish I could make him see that I not out to hurt him and that he would trust me.

    Sorry, not the ideal first thread..
    Seems that you friend may think there is more to your friendship than you do! I don't know your situation but it might be an idea to make sure that he knows exactly where your relationship is at. As op's have put it. Tell him how it is...if you feel funny doing it face to face perhaps do it by phonecall so that you have that physical distance. (not saying he's violent or anything) Sometimes it's easier to say things without the face to face.

    Good luck with it Fencesitter! Welcome to Bub Hub and hope you enjoy the threads. We are all here to support and help each other.

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    Quote Originally Posted by lippintyna
    Seems that you friend may think there is more to your friendship than you do! I don't know your situation but it might be an idea to make sure that he knows exactly where your relationship is at. As op's have put it. Tell him how it is...if you feel funny doing it face to face perhaps do it by phonecall so that you have that physical distance. (not saying he's violent or anything) Sometimes it's easier to say things without the face to face.

    Good luck with it Fencesitter! Welcome to Bub Hub and hope you enjoy the threads. We are all here to support and help each other.
    Hi there welcome

    yes i was going to say the same, has your friend got feeling for you do you think

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    Quote Originally Posted by LA62
    Hi there welcome

    yes i was going to say the same, has your friend got feeling for you do you think
    I'm not sure of that answer to be honest. He is married with his own family, not that that seems to make a difference these days. I am certain he loves me as a friend, and that is the way I would like it to stay.

    It would be a bit hard to ask someone outright if they have feelings for you. I guess it is better than letting this treatment go on though.

    Thanks for all your advice

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fencesitter
    It would be a bit hard to ask someone outright if they have feelings for you. I guess it is better than letting this treatment go on though.
    I agree that it would be difficult especially as he has a family and so do you but you may not have to ask him outright. Maybe skate around the edges and make passing comments about your FRIENDSHIP and that it is not more than that.

    He may not have feelings over and above your friendship but as you say, ...better than letting this treatment go on...to be certain that that is not a factor in his constant need for reassurance.

    I would certainly be letting him know that you cannot be reassuring him every 5 mins of your friendship. If your friendship has been long lasting and close, then he should know you by now and realise when you are upset with him and when you aren't. IMHO.


 

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