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  1. #1
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    Default Baby shower gift etiquette - is this when I give the big gift?

    I'm going to a baby shower for my brother-in-law's girlfriend in a few weeks and I'm not sure if I should just give a little gift and then give a bigger gift when the baby is born, or whether to just give the whole thing at the shower, and just take her some flowers or something when the baby is born?

    I was planning on spending about $200 for gifts, but thought I would give her those gifts when the baby is born when we visit her in hospital. But now she's having a shower, and I don't know how much to give at the shower vs hospital. I'm so confused!

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    I'm not aware of any 'rules' as such, but I would be inclined to give the bigger gift at the baby shower, that is kind of the point I would imagine. Then just a little something when the baby is born. That's what most of my family did when DS was born, they just bought a little something to the hospital (or our house) when they visited for the first time

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    i agree with doing the bigger gift at the baby shower. what i didnt realise is that people actually bought for the shower and also for the birth. i guess i am uneducated in these sorts of things esp with never being to one.

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    I've only been to 2 'baby showers'.. but one was actually a blessingway so no gifts as such, although I dyed and printed up some cloth nappies, and we all brought some food for the day and some food for the mum to freeze for after the baby and we all gave her massages and painted her belly in henna and just lavished love and attention on the pregnant mumma to be, and all pledged favours like help with housework or meals being cooked for after the baby was born when she would need a hand.

    The other was more main******, just a barbie but my friend, (the mum) asked if I could make her a cake instead of a gift (I have a cake business) so I made her a cake that would be worth a few hundred dollars as well as a thing off her registry. (they had a registry somewhere, can't remember)

    I would say, there is no real etiquette as such because everyone is going to think different things are the done thing.

    Do what you would like to do.
    You're giving gifts, I don't think there should really be a wrong way to give gifts.

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    My cousin had a bub a few months ago and I gave her a big gift basket at her baby shower. I didn't give her anything when the baby was born. Surely mums don't expect 2 presents, particularly when the baby shower gift is a large one?

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    Thanks guys - that's really helpful!

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    I would probably split my budget. Perhaps 75% on a baby shower gift and than 25% on a welcome to earth baby gift.
    I would also probably get something for the baby for the shower and than something for mum for the hospi.

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    For me the decision would be on what I was going to buy and whether she knows what she's having. If you wanted to get something that would be better gender specific then go for after the birth. If you were getting something that wasn't gender specific and that you didn't want her to buy before you gave it to her then give it at the shower.

    I usually give the majority at the shower and any gender specific outfit after the birth. Hope this helps

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    The original idea behind a baby shower was to shower the mother to be with gifts for the baby such as baby powder, rash creams, wipes, shampoo, body wash, all the smaller things that were a necessity for when the baby was born. It's gone the way everything else has gone and has become this big expensive thing that people can compete with and see who can spend the most amount of money.

    I guess it all depends on if it's a "traditional" baby shower or one of the more modern ones where large and expensive gifts are expected.

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    Hope you don't mind OP I just wanted to tag on a question of my own that is a little similar. I am going to a baby shower on Saturday and because I know the mum has loads of stuff from her previous babys I was thinking of getting a gift for her. A voucher to get her toes and nails done afterward. Its just a though...is this odd? I thought it might be a nice gesture but not sure if it is inappropriate.


 

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