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  1. #1
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    Default Don't think there's any way to find out, but can anyone help?

    DD's father rings me out of the blue, right. He rings on the mobile from a private number, so i don't know who it is and answer it. He asked where my daughter was, and I said she's here playing with the puppy and he heard her in the background, seemed ok. I said "Why do you need to know where she is, what are you calling for?" because he knows he has no rights here. He said he got a letter from CSA and had to call. That had me baffled, as he pays no CS to me for DD. Apparently the letter says he doesn't have to pay the other woman either as she no longer has children under 18 in her care. That's when I asked where the children are if they aren't with their mother.

    Anyway the conversation continued, boring stuff, but I'm wondering if there's any way I'd be able to find out where the other 2 children are? I know they're nothing to me really, but they are my daughter's half brother and sister and I just want to know they are safe. I'm hoping they're in foster care, that would make sense and that would mean they are safe, they just aren't with their mother. That I could live with. But I don't know a great deal about foster care either, so I don't know if they would stop child support payments or what would happen with that.

    Sorry for rambling, I just don't know where to go from here, if I can even go anywhere

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    I don't know much about foster care either but I would imagine that privacy would be paramount with them so doubt you'd get any joy with finding them if they're in foster care, unless you know some other relatives or friends of the mothers.

    I am, however, wondering why the father doesn't have to pay child support now the kids aren't with the mother. Surely his responsibility should continue regardless of who was caring for the kids? Unless they are in foster care maybe.

    BTW, I had to wait until my early 40s until I could find my half siblings from my father's 2nd marriage. That is a much longer wait than you're wanting, no doubt.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ACT1 View Post
    I am, however, wondering why the father doesn't have to pay child support now the kids aren't with the mother. Surely his responsibility should continue regardless of who was caring for the kids? Unless they are in foster care maybe.
    I don't know much about child support either since he doesn't have to pay any for DD. When he told me he doesn't have to pay for them either, I thought he'd found a way out of it but when he told me why I was like "where are the children???" and it's got me a little concerned. My first thought was that something terrible had happened and that's why I'd like to know. We haven't seen them since they were 2, as much as I believed that the children are related to one another and therefore have a right to know each other and grow together. DD has a photo of herself with the other 2 children and I think she really wants to be able to spend time with them again but their mother is a cow and wouldn't allow it to happen. Blamed me for making her a single parent! Meanwhile I was a single parent too with a child to the same person as her!

    Anyway yeah, it just had me worried about them. I know with privacy it probably wouldn't be possible through foster care, but I wasn't sure about child support when they're in foster care, if that would cease entirely or shift over to whoever had the children.

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    Quote Originally Posted by MummaBear03 View Post
    she no longer has children under 18 in her care.
    Could it just be that as all children in her care are now over the age of 18 that he doesn't have to pay CS?
    CS ceases at 18 so this is probably all that it means.
    I am not sure if you know their ages but this is the type of letter that goes out to the paying parents once the youngest child they are paying for turns 18.

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    Quote Originally Posted by florence View Post
    Could it just be that as all children in her care are now over the age of 18 that he doesn't have to pay CS?
    CS ceases at 18 so this is probably all that it means.
    I am not sure if you know their ages but this is the type of letter that goes out to the paying parents once the youngest child they are paying for turns 18.
    The twin are my daughter's age, in Prep year at school. They are not 18 or over. That's why I have concerns about where they might be if they are not with their mother.

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    Why doesn't he have to pay child support to you? Last I heard they had to pay something like $6pw even if they were on Centrelink benefits and if they're self employed and finding ways to hide income then they have to pay a minimum of $20pw per child. I think that's what it was anyway. He should be paying for the kids he helped create too.

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    It's a long story why he doesn't pay for DD, but that's just the way of it and that's how it will stay. Would be nice to get CS but it will never happen and I'm ok with that because I can provide for my child without his help. It would just be nice to know where those other littlies are and that they're safe. They are 5, turning 6, and DD just turned 6 so the 3 of them are around the same age.

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    If I were you I'd make enquiries with social services. If the children are in foster care they may welcome your input as you are technically family, albeit in an extended way.

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    If the children are in foster care he wouldnt have to pay childsupport.

    Hopefully thats the reason he isnt paying and nothing bad has happened to them.

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    yeah hopefully they're in foster care. i just keep thinking all sorts of things and it's sad to think that if something bad has happened to them we wouldn't even be told about it! DD had a brief relationship with them when they were all about 2 years old (yeah DD's twin half siblings are the same age as her) and that ended because their mother was being an @ss about it. For some reason she had it in for me from the start and blamed me for making her a single parent so she stopped the children from having anything to do with one another. To me, the children have a right to know each other but it can't be done that way.


 

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