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  1. #1
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    Default Don't feel I can be around family

    Ever since my baby was born, my relationship with family has been strained. Iíve been really emotional and find things that normally would annoy me a bit are really upsetting me. For example, earlier today I left my son at my parentsí house and my mum started dishing out her usual advice on how I need to feed him more and why donít I just feed him formula. She says this to me everytime I see her. I have been trying to BF and have a low milk supply which I have been trying to fix with medication and expressing after feeds and Iím seeing a lactation consultant this week for the third time. My mum knows this yet everytime I see my parents they both have to tell me how I need to feed him more. Itís just not helpful. Obviously, Iíd love to feed him more if I could. About 2 days ago I bought some formula and have been supplementing my BFing with formula, yet my mum still has to go on about how Iím just not feeding him enough. I really don't know what else I can do.

    I just donít feel I can see them as everytime I do, they stress me out with their constant advice. Iíve told her to quit giving me advice unless I ask for it but my mum says she raised me so she knows what sheís talking about and so she will give it.

    I also find that my parents disregard anything I say when it conflicts with their advice. For example, they strongly believe that I should sleep my baby on his side. Iíve told them that to help prevent SIDS I should sleep him on his back. They didn't seem to believe me so I handed them a SIDS brochure which they brushed off. Yet, just this week my dad put my son to sleep on his side. I just donít understand what I can do to be heard and be shown a little confidence in my ability to parent. I really feel like getting away from my family and moving interstate so we donít have to constantly see them. Is that too over the top? Will it get better?

  2. #2
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    Honey you need to surround yourself with people who are supportive of what YOU choose to do. Moving away may seem like a good idea but don't make the decision in haste.
    Maybe you could join a local mums group so you can recieve some encouragment and support.
    Your doing a super job keep up the BF, and firmly explain to your family things have changed since they had children and this is the way YOU choose to raise your child.
    Maybe stay away from them for a while and they will realise they have upset you.
    Chin up your doing an excellent job

  3. #3
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    My mum and I disagree on a few aspects of parenting, and it has taken a while (like practically 2 years) but FINALLY she is realising that I do some things differently to what she did. But she is also accepting that just because I do some things differently, doesn't mean that I think that the way she did it was wrong, IYKWIM.

    She used to get offended when I didn't just do what she did, but she is starting to appreciate that there are all sorts of different ways of parenting and there's no 'right or wrong way'. I just sood my ground if she disputed anything I did, and she is great now, very accepting of the differences in my parenting style compared to hers.

    I think she was starting to see that it was p!ssing me off having her question things, and I was backing off from her, so rather than risk losing contact with her daughter and grandson she did the wise thing and got over her feelings of doubt about my parenting.

    Good luck with your mum


 

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