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  1. #901
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    There used to be ap pregnancy after loss thread and iut was my saviour.

    you just can't understand the turmoil that you go through when pregnant after loss if you've not experienced it.

    *~Thank goodness for my phone...It is my sanity & excuse for most things~*

  2. #902
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    Hello everyone,

    I am new here and this has been my first stop after the intro thread.

    Today, our little one would have been 8 weeks old. though it has been 2 weeks and 2 days since it all really started. After the positive reading on the home pregnany test we went for the confirmation blood test, when we got the results the Dr said the reading was low but it was ok, but that was not to be the case. Almost a week later my gf started to get cramps and bleeding, after work she went to the Dr's office and saw another Dr as she couldnt get into her normal Dr. She was then told that her hormone levels were frighteningly low. I get a phone call as I am leaving work saing that she is at the hospital and that they have sent her for blood tests and an untrasound, they cant see anything so they give her pain killers and send her home, telling her that if things get worse to come back.
    2am Sunday morning, gf has already left for work, I get a phone call, cramps are so bad she cant even stand straight and to meet her at the hospital, when she arrived the Dr from the Friday night was leaving and found her doubled over in pain and walked her into the ER, I arrive as they are doing her blood pressure ect. Eventually we get to see a Dr, after yet more blood tests and internal exam for clots, 6 hours later we are told it is a definate miscarrige and given more pain meds and told to go home and relax as best as she can.
    2 weeks later after many blood tests and untrasounds and internal exams it still goes on. No definate signs of an eptopic pregnancy but the hormone levels are still there and the bleeding continues.

    We knew that the chances were high for miscarrige ect, but it still doesnt prepare you for it.

    Even though you were only with us for a few short weeks little peanut I love you with all my heart...

  3. #903
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    Quote Originally Posted by Keerah View Post
    Hello everyone,

    I am new here and this has been my first stop after the intro thread.

    Today, our little one would have been 8 weeks old. though it has been 2 weeks and 2 days since it all really started. After the positive reading on the home pregnany test we went for the confirmation blood test, when we got the results the Dr said the reading was low but it was ok, but that was not to be the case. Almost a week later my gf started to get cramps and bleeding, after work she went to the Dr's office and saw another Dr as she couldnt get into her normal Dr. She was then told that her hormone levels were frighteningly low. I get a phone call as I am leaving work saing that she is at the hospital and that they have sent her for blood tests and an untrasound, they cant see anything so they give her pain killers and send her home, telling her that if things get worse to come back.
    2am Sunday morning, gf has already left for work, I get a phone call, cramps are so bad she cant even stand straight and to meet her at the hospital, when she arrived the Dr from the Friday night was leaving and found her doubled over in pain and walked her into the ER, I arrive as they are doing her blood pressure ect. Eventually we get to see a Dr, after yet more blood tests and internal exam for clots, 6 hours later we are told it is a definate miscarrige and given more pain meds and told to go home and relax as best as she can.
    2 weeks later after many blood tests and untrasounds and internal exams it still goes on. No definate signs of an eptopic pregnancy but the hormone levels are still there and the bleeding continues.

    We knew that the chances were high for miscarrige ect, but it still doesnt prepare you for it.

    Even though you were only with us for a few short weeks little peanut I love you with all my heart...

    .. I am so deeply sorry for your loss.

  4. #904
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    These have got to be the hardest posts to read. I am so, so sorry for all of your losses. It isn't until you go through all the names of the little angels that have passed that you realise how many mums are grieving.

    I wish I had wise words of comfort to give you, but sadly, I don't - other than I am deeply sorry for all of your losses.

    Lots of hugs and kisses to all of you.

  5. #905
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    I feel horrible, even after everything over the last 3 weeks I still want to keep going with trying for a baby. I feel guilty that I dont understand what she is going through deep down and for wanting to keep going. My mindset being we have an extra uterus, take advantage of it while it is funtioning propperly (never had regular periods till now, have been regular since we started trying. Regular periods are helpful when doing diy AI )
    She didnt tell me that having kids is the last thing she wants to do right now, is also the second time over the last 3 weeks she has held back on telling me something, for fear of me not handling it. How do I tell her without upsetting her to stop wrapping me in bubble wrap, I am not a mind reader and that she needs to tell me these things. This is sposed to be a journey we are taking together, with her only being able to do to the appointments when Im at work and her holding back I feel like I am being left out. I feel like Im not even a part of all this...

  6. #906
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    Quote Originally Posted by FirstTimeMummy2012 View Post
    Hi everyone

    Saw this thread awhile back and hoped to God I would never have to join but here I am ... I posted my story also on a seperate thread but here goes.

    I had written this very long complex story about the death of my baby and my missed miscarriage. I was right at the end. It had taken me over an hour to write it all out then something happened. My computer froze and it was wiped before my very eyes with no idea how it happened. Exactly how I felt when they told me my baby was no longer alive .. no longer had a heart beating. I felt like the bottom of my world was ripped out from under me. I had no pain and very minimal spotting for only 2 days. Monday I was spotting very little and only when I peed. Monday night a visit to the hospital confirms my HCG levels are fine and I'm still pregnant. Tuesday all is well. Wednesday morning wake to a little more spotting so beg diagnostics for an ultrasound. Sonographer doesn't say anything for the longest time and I know something is wrong. She says she is sorry and I don't hear anything after that. I'm crying and DH is trying to hold it together but failing miserably. Our precious little angel was supposed to be almost 12 weeks and had been gone for more than 4 weeks. He stopped growing at 6weeks + 1 ... the exact day of our first ultrasound. My body betrayed me by not even giving me a single hint for 4 whole weeks! A visit to my GP who hugs me and apolgises for my loss. He tells me he will take care of everything. A few minutes later I have a referall in my hand for an ob who will do my d & c the following morning. I go to the ob and he hands me the admission paperwork with an apology for my loss. Off to the hospital and d 7 c is scheduled for 7:30am the following morning.

    Fast forward 7:30am the next day and DH hugs me and kisses me and tells me everything will be ok. I'm taken into pre op and for the first time in 3 days I am alone with my thoughts and my dead baby inside me. It hits me and I'm sobbing. I don't care who can see me. I don't care about anything else .. period.

    I'm wheeled into the OR and the surgeon looks at me with pity. Tells me he'll take good care of me and that I'll be ok. He looks at me, "I promise you". I believe him.

    Next thing I know, I'm awake and my pregnancy symptoms that had been present right up until the d & c are now gone. I feel empty. That's the only way I can describe it.

    DH comes to pick me up and we hug crying together. It feels surreal. I feel like I've been watching a movie about someone else's life. We go home and I feel fine. I really do. I tell everyone I'm fine and sometimes I am. But other times I don't even know I'm crying until my eyes start burning and tears are running down my cheeks. Sometimes I feel great and other times I feel like running away.

    I know that my baby was too good for this world .. too precious to be raised in this lifetime. I feel as though I should be more sad and then feel bad when I don't feel sad. I don't know how I should feel. I want to move on to the next stage of our lives but I don't want our baby to think that I'm trying to replace him. I'm really not .. I just want to move on so I don't have to feel the pain of having my baby removed from inside of me. I know we all grieve in our own way but I've never been one to drag my feelings on. I try and get it all out quickly and then move on. I cried a few times today at work. First day back and everyone had questions. I tell them I'm fine and don't elaborate. No one knew and I don't want them to know.

    I feel like my body failed me. I feel like I've failed. I know it's common to miscarry. I know I'm not the only one but that doesn't help. Not even a little bit. Physically I feel so fine that DH and I dtd yesterday and then we felt guilty. Again, I'm not trying to replace our little angel. I just want to complete our family ...

    Apologies for the long post .. the other post I had written out was so much more detailed but I guess it wasn't meant to be .. like our little angel.


    Me 33
    DH 38

    TTC #1 Since August 2011

    'Missed' M/C - Feb 2012 11 wks

    First of All Hi everyone,

    FirstTimeMummy, My story is very much exactly the same as yours.
    I knew for a while that something just didn't feel right. I didn't have any MC signs at all so we went in for our routine NT Scan yesterday at 12+3 weeks to find that our baby that had passed at 8 weeks.

    As soon as I saw bubs on the screen I knew that it wasn't ok and my fears were confirmed.
    Went in for D&C at around 2pm and came home by 5pm.

    So my day started out so exciting and looking forward to seeing our baby and ended coming home after surgery and being empty and in pain.

    Just need to get through my feelings so I can be the best for my 2 lil boys.

    I have had a late loss and the pain does ease but we will never forget our angels and the moments we held them in our bodies and in our hearts.

    I have had to have a week off work and I am dreading going back and seeing their faces/having to explain to them what happened.
    That is one of my biggest fears and makes me so upset to think about it. Ahh its just so hard.

    I know that you all have been through a lot and it just doesn't seem fair.
    Lots of to everyone and sending love and healing
    xxx
    Last edited by Deedles85; 24-05-2012 at 22:02.

  7. #907
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    I really didnt want to be in this section (I doubt anyone does) but here I am and I am desperately trying not to fall apart. My first ultrasound was this morning. I should be around 16 or 17 weeks but bubs was measuring at 11.5 weeks and had no heartbeat. It was just curled up in its little ball completely still. I had bleeding spots on saturday and now I feel a bit crampy. I should see my baby soon. Too soon. I dont want to see it yet. I want to see it in November and see it take it's first breath but I can't. I don't even know if it's a boy or a girl. Have named it Charlie/Charli because that can be either and it was one of the names my youngest SS suggested for it.

    How do I tell people? Just this morning my mum was showing me the blanket she started to make. How do I tell her she has to stop? How do I tell an 8yr old and a 6yr old that the sibling they were so excited about is not to be?

    Am getting a pot and planting it a plant. I will try and bury it underneath. At least I can have a few ultrasound pictures. RIP lil angel bubby. Miss you already.

  8. #908
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    Oh Tildy I am thinking of you at this extremely emotional and heart breaking time.
    You are right that none of us want to be in this section, though it does mean that there are people out there who understand and know how you're feeling at this time.

    I still haven't properly mourned the loss of our bub but It helps to look at the faces of my beautiful children and think how lucky I am to have them.

    I am sending so much love and support at this time and hope that your family are there for you also.

    Strength, love and hugs
    xx

  9. #909
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    Oh Tildy I just want to give you big hugs

    Deedles85 is right the people in this thread while we never wanted to be here have an understanding of what you are going through. I wont say we know what you are going through becasue grief is different for each person. It has been over 6months since we lost our baby at 10weeks and I haven't grieved properly, I haven't let myself. We were married 10days after we found out and 8 days after the D&C and so I couldn't let myself break down and now that I am pregnant again I still wont let myself do it. It would have been my due date on 02/06/12 and this past week I have been so sad. We always remember our babies, no matter how long they were in our lives.

    Again I just want to give you big big big hugs and wish I could offer my shoulder for you to cry

  10. #910
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    Hi Everyone,

    I think I lost my baby this morning. I was only about 5-6 weeks, I got a faint line on a test at home on Sunday, had a blood test the same day and HCG was 56. I was supposed to be having another blood test today to check that the HCG levels were rising but I had very heavy bleeding this morning with a lot of pain so I'm afraid it is all over. I guess this would be classed as a chemical pregnancy since it is so early? This was the first time I'd ever got a positive result.

    I'm so sorry to read everyone else's heartbreaking story's, but I certainly don't feel so alone anymore so thank you for sharing.

    I don't really know what to do... should I still have the second blood test to be sure? Should I make an appointment to go back and see the doctor? I already have an appointment booked with a specialist next week (as we have been trying unsuccessfully for a while I'd been planning to have a laproscopy over the school holidays) should I just go to that... I don't know.


 

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