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  1. #81
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    Hello,

    Just wanted to share my story and ask a question...

    Well, i was 10weeks on Monday and yesterday i woke up slightly bleeding (very pink) after DH and i had *** the night before). I rang my ob and spoke to her, and she said that it could be the bleeding of the cervix, but to keep an eye on it.
    It got heavier and darker before lunch when i rang again. I got to see my ob at 1pm when she did the scan and no heartbeat. I saw the baby on the screen but it wasnt moving.
    She said that she would book me in for the D&C this morning which i had done. I didnt even know what that was. My first daugher was perfect with no bleeding and no m/s so i just assumed that this would be the same. Especially since i found out when i was only 3 weeks (weird).

    anyway - i have just been resting today and i really just feel like crap. I dont want to talk to anyone on the phone and i just dont really care whats going on around me. is that really selfish?

    My question is:
    Can i find out what sex the baby was or is it too late? They are performing a chromozone test to see if they can see what happening but im not sure about the finding out the sex thing?

    Thanks for listening
    Erin

  2. #82
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    Quote Originally Posted by Erin07 View Post
    Hello,

    Just wanted to share my story and ask a question...

    Well, i was 10weeks on Monday and yesterday i woke up slightly bleeding (very pink) after DH and i had *** the night before). I rang my ob and spoke to her, and she said that it could be the bleeding of the cervix, but to keep an eye on it.
    It got heavier and darker before lunch when i rang again. I got to see my ob at 1pm when she did the scan and no heartbeat. I saw the baby on the screen but it wasnt moving.
    She said that she would book me in for the D&C this morning which i had done. I didnt even know what that was. My first daugher was perfect with no bleeding and no m/s so i just assumed that this would be the same. Especially since i found out when i was only 3 weeks (weird).

    anyway - i have just been resting today and i really just feel like crap. I dont want to talk to anyone on the phone and i just dont really care whats going on around me. is that really selfish?

    My question is:
    Can i find out what sex the baby was or is it too late? They are performing a chromozone test to see if they can see what happening but im not sure about the finding out the sex thing?

    Thanks for listening
    Erin
    I'm also going through a miscarriage at the moment too

    It's the most awful feeling isn't it?

    Don't feel selfish for not wanting to talk on the phone, I'm doing the same, ignoring any calls that come unless it's my mum or DP.

    I just want to say I'm so sorry for your loss too...I wasn't as far along as you but I know how you feel.

    I'm over the constant reminder when I go to the toilet, not to mention the terrible tummy pain

    Rest up, be selfish, it's okay too

    Pm me if you need to chat at all

    Sorry I can't answer your question about the sex though.

    Nat xox

  3. #83
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    for the new faces. sorry to see you here. i hope you are all coping ok.

  4. #84
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    Hi Erin,

    I'm so sorry you are going through this. I also lost my bub at 10 weeks back in April. I just wanted to pop in to answer your question about the sex of the baby - if they are doing testing on the baby anyway they should be able to tell you the sex as well. You just might want to mention to your doctor that you want to know this so she can make sure they find out for you.

    Again I'm so very sorry. You will find a wonderful supportive bunch of women on here. Don't ever feel you have to apologise for how you feel after a miscarriage. You aren't being selfish. It takes time for you to start to heal and I personally found that trying to rush things just delayed the process.

    I hope the D&C went as well as can be expected for you.

  5. #85
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    to you Sweet Serenity and Erin. It is possibly one of the worst situations to be in. All of my losses except this last one, I have gone for my ultrasound and they have found that the baby has no heartbeat....the feeling of not only seeing that but being told that just feels like you are being dropped into a pit.

    This thread is all about support after our losses, its a great place to rant and rave and get it all out of the system. After each of my miscarriages I have withdrawn myself from those around me and found great comfort in this forum...maybe cos its faceless but mainly because people here are in the same boat or have experienced the same thing. I am lucky that I have a very supportive husband and family as back up also.

    Cross fingers that all of us who will be TTC again will get our stickies.

    Tash - thats gorgeous. I hope the roses bloom out of control for you.

    GMF - how are you feeling?

    AFM - so glad its Friday. Had a talk with my bosses (they are male) and I am going to stick with doing half days for now...I am so glad because I have never had a break from working full-time for the past 25 years so I reckon I deserve to slow down a bit and concentrate on getting my health and mental health aligned again!

  6. #86
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    Hi IT40 - I'm still here. I'm ok - I think? Hanging out for my ultrasound next week to see if there's anything to see I guess. Been preoccupied with DS as he has swine flu so haven't had much time to pop online - or to think about my situation really. Continued pain but no worse and still no more bleeding. I'm really hoping it was all just a false alarm. Don't know how likely that is?

    Tash - I did a similar thing to you with my baby girl in April. She is buried under a perennial daisy as that is the birth flower for the month we lost her. It hasn't stopped flowering since we planted it. I often go outside just to look at it and think about her.

    To all the new faces who have lost their angels. I'm so sorry you have to join us.

  7. #87
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    my love and hugs to all you ladies who have suffered a loss recentley. i am devastated, shocked, heartbroken and numb!!! I went for my scan yesterday to find bub died 4 weeks ago at 7 weeks. the gest sac and placenta kept growing until a couple of days ago, thats why ive still had all my preg symptoms and my bump kept growing. I am a mess to be honest. Absolutely heartbroken.... I dont know what else to say, im at home now after having misoprostal at hospital to get things going to miscarry naturally. I had a fair bit of pain at 5am and at 5.30 i lost bub, there was a LOT of blood and i felt everything "fall out" (sorry tmi) The pain has now pretty much gone away, just a tender sort of feeling and the odd cramping left. I feel numb and so miserable .. i hope we can all support each other through our sad time. This is my 2nd loss this year though the first one happened a couple of days after my positive test - a couple of days after my period was due - it just never implanted and i was told it was a chemical pregnancy... my feeling of loss wasnt as bad as this time as there wasnt actually a baby. this time....It just hurts sooo much!!
    Last edited by Ashy'smum; 03-08-2009 at 15:44.

  8. #88
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    hey girls for everyone
    we lost our bub on the weekend at 6 weeks. ive never had a miscarriage before and i really feel for u girls who have through this a few times. i cant even begin to imagine how awful it must be to lose a bub that is further along

    so maybe its just a knee-jerk type reaction but i feel like i dont want any more kids now. we have 3 and were planning 4 and now thats its been taken from me i feel like i cant go through this again. like maybe this is a sign that i should just be happy with what i have. dh would be happy enough to start trying again straight away and im clearly not ready so he is fine with that , but i think he really does want to go again at some point and i just feel like i dont want to anymore. ive never been someone who has decided they were done then changed my mind before..ive always kinda known i wanted more. has anyone else felt like this? do you think i will change my mind once i have had time to move on a bit? i suppose it has hit home a bit to me the idea of losing one of my children and in my mind i guess the less children i have the less chance that could happen ? if that makes sense? i suppose it feels like if i do have another baby it will never be the same now..i will always be scared that i will lose it and i wont be able to enjoy being happy and excited and i wont be able to bond with it. maybe these are all just normal feelings and in time they will go away?

  9. #89
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    Dont put pressure on yourself until you decide whether you want to TTC again or not. Make that decision when you feel ready. Given that you have just had a miscarriage, you would be better of waiting until you feel ready to discuss this with your DH. No rush, give yourself the time you need to decide what you want to do.

    So sorry for your loss.

  10. #90
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    Well we had our 12 week Ob appointment on Thursday (DH's 30th birthday). The ob looked at my bloods (HCG) that were done by my GP in week 5 (every second day for 6 days) and they were tripling instead of doubling- so very strong and he also looked at our 7 week scan which showed the bub, right size and strong heartbeat. He asked us if we even wanted to do a scan at all that day. We said we would prefer to because we were nervous and wanted to see bubs.

    We both knew something was wrong as soon as the scan started. We just couldn't see the heartbeat and any movement the way we had at 7 weeks (5 weeks earlier). Then the Ob started saying things like "this doesn't look good...". I looked at DH and just wanted to throw up. We both just knew. Then the Ob said the baby's heartbeat had stopped and it wasn't a viable pregnancy anymore. He said to come back into his room and we'd chat about what we would do.

    I got dressed and DH and I didn't say a word to each other- we just looked at each other with watery eyes. I kept thinking this is not the 30th birthday present DH wanted and my heart just ached. We went back into the Ob's office and he was very sympathetic and told us that there is nothing to be worried about for future and that the baby must have had a problem. He said I could have a D&C or I could wait for it to happen naturally but would most likely need a D&C anyway. I decided I just wanted to get it out of the way. He said he would do it on the Monday but wanted me to go for another scan on the Friday at a 4D scan place just to make sure. In our hearts DH and I just knew it was over but went to the scan the next day. I had planned to take DH out for a nice dinner to celebrate the 12 week mark and his 30th but instead we held each other on the couch and just cried for hours.

    At the scan place the next day it was so hard. They were running behind and we had to sit there for 2 hours with 18 week+ pregnant women going for their scans and discussing the sex of the baby with their partners. DH and I sat there just heartbroken.

    They gave us the bad news and we went home to wait the long weekend out until the D&C on Monday. We went to a wedding on the Saturday and had people coming up to us to congratulate us and we had to either brush them off if they weren't close friends to avoid a scene or tell them quietly the situation without showing any emotion. It took every strength in me to hold it together.

    I went in yesterday for the D&C and am just going through a mix of feeling numb one minute to complete heartbreak the next. The Ob said I should ovulate in about 2 weeks and there is no reason to wait to start TTC again.

    I think the biggest part is knowing that everthing was fine until what seems to be about a week or 2 ago. I would rather have had cramping and bleeding than to have nothing and not have known. It is hard that we started telling people the week before as well. Now we have to slowly 'untell' them.

    I just really want my broken heart to mend and at the moment the only way I can imagine that is TTC again. I just don't know if I can handle this happening a second time round...


 

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