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  1. #831
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    Hi everyone....i am new and am a bit confused at the moment but thought this was the best place for me.
    I am currently 8 weeks pregnant but had my second scan yesterday (first was 5 weeks to just check for pregnancy as I am IVF) only to find the little munchkin is only measuring 7 weeks and there is no heartbeat. I am of course devastated. I have no bleeding, cramping etc and am just so all over the place. My FS has suggested we just let nature take its course.....DOES THIS HURT???
    Or if nothing in 10 days then D&C....how cruel to have to wait that long while my stupid body still thinks it is pregnant. Is this normal?

    Ellajsmum - So Sorry to hear of your loss....this is my first time going through this and I too don't know what to do, am all over the place emotionally and have a little DD to hug me also (thank goodness!).

    SO I was just wondering what things you guys do to help you through this or if any of you have had to "wait it out"....HUGE HUGS to you all and I will be sure to catch up on some stories as I read through posts.

  2. #832
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    Hi ellajsmum. How are you going? Just wanted to say I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I hope you are doing okay. Hugs.

    Meltux.... Hugs too. I had a similar story to yours. Went for progress scan at 9 weeks and they found baby had stopped growing, no heartbeat. My doctor suggested a D and C straight away which we did next day. She did say I could wait for 'nature' to take its course but she did tell me that it would be painful and there would be a lot of bleeding. I don't have any experience with what a miscarriage feels like only the D and C so I can't really help you. Your doctor would know what's best for you and perhaps some others on here can help??
    I'm so sorry for what you are going through. Take care of yourself. Hugs.

  3. #833
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    Meltux - I am so sorry for your loss. I know the pain all too well. I've lost 2 bubbas and both times chose natural miscarriage and had my babies at home.

    I'm not going to say this is an easy thing to do and everyone's experience of this is different. I chose natural miscarriage as my general philosophy with anything pregnancy and birth related is to let nature do it's thing and to trust my body. I avoid intervention at all costs and I believe it's best for my body long term also.

    With my first loss last April I noticed pinkish discharge on Tuesday and bub was born at 9.01am on Thursday. The pain was significant for me, similar to labour in that the contractions came, built and then subsided. But I did not use any pain killers. I breathed through my pain and while it was hard I coped well. There was heavy bleeding and large clotting involved and finally I had my babe. At that point the pain died down just like with normal birth but the heavy bleeding didn't completely go until one last clot was passed. After that the cramps were mild and the bleeding died down. It took a couple of weeks for the bleeding to go and my regular cycle followed within weeks.

    My second loss was just this Decmber. This was a markedly more painful (physically and emotionally) experience. I noticed brown blood on a Saturday and made it to the Dr on Monday. Confirmed by scan that day that babe had passed. It took me until the next Sunday (8 days from first sight of blood) at 4.01 to have bub. It was a HELL of a week, honestly. I did not want a D&C but it was hard. The bleeding increased during that week but it wasn't until the Saturday morning at around 3am that I was awoken to pains. These pains were again like contractions but As the hours wore on I realised this birth was far more intense and painful then the last time. I believe knowing what was to come and the fear that came with it coupled with the fact Dp was not there were partly to blame. With this birth, unlike the last, I didn't cope calmly and I did take strong pain killers to get through it. There was ALOT of bleeding and clotting and it wasn't until Sunday that the actual baby came. Honestly, at the moment my baby came out (in his sack), the pain was GONE. The bleeding really subsided and I felt quite normal.

    The two experience had there similarities, of course, but were very different.
    It may sound scary but if your partner can be there with you then you can do it

    I know what it is like to know that your baby is inside and has passed away. What go me through was the thought that I could birth my baby myself, no matter how small, even if it took a little time. My advice is to give yourself a time limit on how long you will wait. Otherwise, you can go a bit crazy thinking "when will this horror be over!!!!". Sounds like your Dr has given you a time limit but I suggest that you make the calls for yourself. 10 days seems reasonable but at the same time if you feel it's all too much to take, insist on a DnC.

    Having good support is imperative. I hope sharing my story helped you a little with what you are going through. If you need any more info or to chat, feel free to PM me.

    All the best

  4. #834
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    Thanks onelove and tamtam for sharing your experiences. My heart breaks for both of you.... xxxxxxxxx

    I am terrified of what will happen to tell you the truth. I really hope I cope emotionally and physically.

    One question how far along were you in both of your losses? Can this influence the miscarriage?
    Last edited by meltux; 04-01-2012 at 09:50.

  5. #835
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    Meltux... I was terrified too and devastated and emotional etc. but it's surprising what you can actually handle when it comes to it. And it's okay to unravel and cry and whatever you need to do. You will be okay and you just need to take each day as it comes. Big hugs. xo

  6. #836
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    Meltux, It is scary but you can do it just as Tamtam said, you never know your own strength. After my first miscarriage I felt immense pride and so much more self belief than before. Where you are at now is so hard - the waiting and the unknown. I feel for you.

    I was further along than you are now and yes it makes a difference to the intensity of what you experience, in most cases.

    I really hope I didn't scare you any more than what you are feeling already. I just know that when I was facing what you are now, I trawled the internet for info and experiences and that helped me prepare.

    Do you have support from you partner?

  7. #837
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    Thanks Onelove...yes I have my wonderful hubby but thing is I am off to Brisbane tomorrow to see my sister and her baby....but I am prepared and we know hospital routes, I have maternity pads and painkillers and she has heatpads and foot spas! I will be away from DH for 5 days and it may happen then or like I have said I am booked in to see FS as soon as I get back to sort out the next step. The waiting is what is worse but I know I will be fine and although DH is worried my sister will be great and DD gives awesome cuddles (and lollies) when I am sad!
    You know I feel a bit better this afternoon as I write things here as well as cry with Mum and my other sister who came by today with chocolate and coffee (needed BOTH)....so healing bit by bit and preparing myself more and more each hour! Thank you so much for your support too!

  8. #838
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    Don't know how to start but here it's goes we lost our babe yesterday at six weeks six days I'm so numb its not funny don't want to be held touch just wanna be alone I feel like **** I'm tried sore angry hurt and ****ing upset

    To make things worse I also lost my pop yesterday feel like my world is crumbling blah!!!!!


    Mumma(23) Dadda(22) Mr LP(2.5 yrs) Miss LR (1yr) NTNP (2012-2013)

  9. #839
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    metux and lp+lr, I am thinking of you both. It has been 2 weeks today since I started miscarrying at 6 weeks, although everyone is different, I am so much better now than I was then, although at the time I didn't believe that could ever be possible.

  10. #840
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    Hello.

    Having my first miscarriage. Not coping very well.

    Can I ask some 'nitty gritty' questions?

    My doctor says because bub died at 6 weeks I will not be able to recognize bub when she/he passes. He says it will be like a heavy period. Is this the normal experience? I really don't want to 'see' anything.

    The cramping is pretty stinking painful. But the bleeding is quite light and bright red. The odd clot here and there, so far a golf ball being the largest. Sound normal?

    Will I have another ultrasound now that I am losing Dot naturally? My doc gave me a referral form (before the bloods confirmed the hcg was dropping, he still had hope that bub was alive and gave me the slip).

    My first us on Friday showed 6+2 and no HB. If I had one tomorrow would it show how far along the miscarriage is?

    I cannot fathom why there is STILL a part of me praying for a miracle. Why won't this part just shut the hell up? It's not helpful.


 

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