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  1. #591
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    Quote Originally Posted by withoutpeanut View Post
    Jazz- what's the other song that you found? I'm at the point where anything that helps me to grieve gives me a great release.
    I haven't really found any other song that deals with what we go through losing a child. The only other song that helps me is one that my DH played for me one day to let me know how he felt. It was called Lay Your World On Me by Ozzy Osbourne. Ozzy Ozbourne is not normally my cup of tea but this song just means that little bit more to me I guess, reminds me that DH is there for me and that I need to make sure that I lean on him when I need instead of trying to keep strong in front of him.

    I must say that I am turning to music a lot more these day, unfortunately there are a few songs that I love that I struggle to listen to know because it make me think about what we are missing and may never have.

  2. #592
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    Jazz- I found myself listening to "The Child is Gone" by Fiona Apple, and even though I love it "Cosmic Love" by Florence and The Machine is hard to hear now. Beautiful but sad.

  3. #593
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    lola77 is offline BH Advocate - Sydney: Northern Beaches
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    Hi,
    I really wish i wasnt here. Had scan last weds and bub was only measuring 5w5d when i was 7w1d, but had heartrate of 109. Had repeat scan this morning. No significant growth and heart rate is down to 89.
    Feel like this is happening to someone else cos it can't be happening to me.
    DH is in the other room and thinks I'm sleeping but i just can't stop crying and searching for answers.
    Feel like this whole year has been pointless and really don't know what to do next.
    I just wish someone could tell me it will all be ok.

  4. #594
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    Lola77- I'm so sorry you find yourself here. Reading your signature it looks like you would have been so thrilled and relieved to get that second line. Where to from here medically? Another scan to size and date?
    Your story is very different to mine so I don't know what this will be like for you. I can tell you that when things are hard there are lots of wonderful women here to talk to and help you through. You just need to get through this however works for you. Anything you feel or want is okay. I would recommend you don't close out your husband. Let him know how you're feeling because you're going to need him in this.
    Please come back and let us know how things are for you xxx

  5. #595
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    Quote Originally Posted by lola77 View Post
    Hi,
    I really wish i wasnt here. Had scan last weds and bub was only measuring 5w5d when i was 7w1d, but had heartrate of 109. Had repeat scan this morning. No significant growth and heart rate is down to 89.
    Feel like this is happening to someone else cos it can't be happening to me.
    DH is in the other room and thinks I'm sleeping but i just can't stop crying and searching for answers.
    Feel like this whole year has been pointless and really don't know what to do next.
    I just wish someone could tell me it will all be ok.

    I am so sorry What a tough year you have had, As with what withoutpeanut said, where to from here medically? Thinking of you during this scary time xoxox

    MrsHunidue - I am so sorry for your losses Hoping its not another m/c for you How is everything? Has the bleeding stopped?

    Preggle - I can't remember if you were getting some testing done to see if there was a cause for your losses, Have they been done yet? When do you get results?

    How is everyone else going??
    I have had a heap of testing done and will get the results next month, not sure whether I want the tests to come back clear or not, I just feel I need to get some answers

    Take care
    xox

  6. #596
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    lola77 is offline BH Advocate - Sydney: Northern Beaches
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    Hi everyone and thanks,
    Booked in for another scan next Thursday. I really don't know what to expect next. I'm a little conflicted for a few reasons. I know the heart rate can take a while to not be there (I had trouble wording that), and I worry that it will just drag on and I'll need to keep going back. I know the further you go past 8 weeks the higher the chance for things to be 'incomplete'. I'm a bridesmaid in England and fly out in 2.5 weeks so I'm worried if it drags on that I'll go naturally on the plane or while I'm over there, which will also mean our family will find out. However I'm also terrified of a d&c as I've had 2 terminations when I was very young and reacted badly to being put under a general (in a panic attack sense). I also worry that it could damage my uterus and affect my already compromised fertility.
    Sorry for rambling. Just a lot of stuff going on in my head.
    And I apologise for asking this next question but I just want to be prepared as my DH has to go away on business next week. If I start to bleed, firstly do I need to go to hospital, and secondly should I collect any 'tissue' for potential testing?
    I'm so scared that things will happen while DH is away and I'm alone with the toddler and we have no family around!

  7. #597
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    Hello ladies
    I am coming in here very sadly.
    My DH and I have a DD who will be 7 in october.
    We have been TTC #2 since she was a little over 1!
    We did get pregnant in feb 2009, but that ended at 9 weeks diagnosed as a blighted ovum.
    Fast forward 3 years, we were working our way to iui due to low AMH and low sperm motility.
    Well before we went ahead, low and behold we got a BFP by ourselves.
    We were so over the moon with excitement.
    But now at 6weeks I have had the news that we all dread to hear. My hCG was not rising very well when I had it tested in Monday. Then yesterday's bloods actually dropped so it looks as though a miscarriage is on it's way.
    I feel like such a failure. I know this happens but it is such a cruel thing to happen after trying for so long.
    Thanks for listening if you have got this far!

  8. #598
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    Mystic- so sorry you find yourself here. It is a soft place to land though, which I'm sure you need after such a long journey and now having this sad news.
    I know it sounds terrible, but is it for sure? Have you had a scan? I don't really know what you should expect. I didn't have any hormone levels taken till after I lost my Peanut. It just seems to me a scan might give you a more concrete answer. I'm hoping Bubba can hang in against the odds for you x

    Lola- there's probably not any reason you need to collect tissue with such an early loss. It's probably just one of those terrible things. Hospital shouldn't be necessary unless you're worried about the amount of bleeding. I think avoiding the ER if you can is always a good thing. As for a D&C, you may well still be bleeding when you go overseas, but at least you might have some idea of what you should expect to happen. I REALLY didn't want a D&C, both because I wanted to do it naturally and because I wanted to avoid a GA, but a doctor did tell me when I looked into it that it was possible to have it done with a spinal. They prefer not to, but possible. It might mean a longer wait before you can TTC though. Weigh up what's important to you. I couldn't have gone OS during my M/C, especially if I didn't want people to know. I think you really need to talk to a doctor about your choices. Take care x

  9. #599
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    Quote Originally Posted by withoutpeanut View Post
    Mystic- so sorry you find yourself here. It is a soft place to land though, which I'm sure you need after such a long journey and now having this sad news.
    I know it sounds terrible, but is it for sure? Have you had a scan? I don't really know what you should expect. I didn't have any hormone levels taken till after I lost my Peanut. It just seems to me a scan might give you a more concrete answer. I'm hoping Bubba can hang in against the odds for you x

    Lola- there's probably not any reason you need to collect tissue with such an early loss. It's probably just one of those terrible things. Hospital shouldn't be necessary unless you're worried about the amount of bleeding. I think avoiding the ER if you can is always a good thing. As for a D&C, you may well still be bleeding when you go overseas, but at least you might have some idea of what you should expect to happen. I REALLY didn't want a D&C, both because I wanted to do it naturally and because I wanted to avoid a GA, but a doctor did tell me when I looked into it that it was possible to have it done with a spinal. They prefer not to, but possible. It might mean a longer wait before you can TTC though. Weigh up what's important to you. I couldn't have gone OS during my M/C, especially if I didn't want people to know. I think you really need to talk to a doctor about your choices. Take care x
    Thanks withoutpeanut!
    I am having a scan tomorrow morning.

  10. #600
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    Lola - I didn't go to the ED with my first loss I just went to a GP who sent me for a scan to check the viability of the pregnancy but Bub had already been passed. I just had to have my levels checked for a couple weeks to ensure they were dropping back down to 0. I have had 2 natural m/c's one at 6 and half weeks and the other at 5 weeks no D&C was needed so I can't really help you on that one. What a horrible thing to go through and at a horrible time Maybe ask your Dr and see what your options are xox

    Misticme - I am so sorry, I know the feeling of being told that your levels have dropped, that happened to me just last month. I really hope that your bubby stays sticky and grows strong Goodluck with your scan xox

    Withoutpeanut - How are you going?


 

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