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  1. #521
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    Hi mel... I'm so sorry we find each other in this group now. I hope your physical pain has gone away xo
    I just had someone text me and say you'll be ok, you can have have another one. No I can't, I can never have my first born son again, I can never watch him grow up, I'll never know his laugh or his cry. I will never bring him home. Another baby won't fill the hole in my heart. Not to mention that this may happen to me over and over again if I can't sort out my cervix. I may live in this pain forever because 'another one' won't bring my little man back to me.

  2. #522
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    Hi Ladies,

    So sorry to hear you've all been having such a hard week by the sounds of it, although it is nice to hear that I'm not the only one feeling this way. To those who lost their babies a little later than some of us, I am just so amazed at how strong you all are.

    Cherished - I am so so sorry to see your name here. We shared the same TTC thread for a few months (used to be ash0610) so I remember your name. For you to go through a second m/c and still not have a baby to hold must be so hard. This was my first pregnancy and the fears I have of it happening a second time are almost enough for me to put off TTC again. I'm so sorry those fears have come true for you. I know there is nothing I can say that will make it better but you will be in my thoughts .

    Mel & Woody Re: Peoples comments. It is so hard when people close to you hurt you with what they say. I'm sure they are not meaning to but I have experienced the hurt so far aswell. I'm suprised that I havn't even heard from two of my best friends for almost 2 weeks (they knew I would probably lose baby) other than to say that this happens to alot of people and it's not the end of the world. None of my friends have children so I guess they just don't understand. I love my little one even if it did only make it to 8.5weeks.

    AFM - Still not going great, I think it is just the huge hormone change really tipping me over the edge. I had my scan appointment yesterday to see if there was any 'retained product' but I forgot I had taken my referal out of my bag to get the phone number to make the appointment - they refused to see me. I lost it on the drive home, I just want the physical part of this to be over so I can't start healing emotionally. It's been 3 weeks tomorrow since my scan showed I'd probably lose our baby, it's been such a draining few weeks. They couldn't book me in for another week but after seeing my GP today he rang them up and managed to move it forward for me. Have my scan at 3pm tomorrow now.

    When I got home within 15mins I had a phone call from a Doctor that did my emergency bloods almost 3 weeks ago. She rang to tell me the "good news", congratulated me for my positive test reults and told me on test day I was around 6 weeks pregnant. She went on to help me try to plan my appointments so I had to tell her I miss carried over the weekend followed by awkward silence. Just really not the best of days, glad it's over.

    Even doing the groceries was hard today, so many mummies and babies I must have looked like a zombie doing the shopping just trying to zone out and keep it together! .

    's to you all. Hope each day is easier than the last.

  3. #523
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    Cherished - Re: How long to wait. I think if physically you are all ok then you don't have to wait 3 months. My GP said he sees no reason for us to have to wait but the Doctor that took my bloods said it is best to wait for one AF to make sure everything's running perfectly down there. We have chosen to wait one cycle. Hope this helps, goodluck with ttc.

  4. #524
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    Mummylip: I am 6 weeks. Had a dating scan yesterday and saw our little one's heartbeat xo

    I read over others posts and still shead tears. Life is such a massive roller coaster ride of up's and downs. I can hear pain and sad through words expressed. Here for you all.

    To be 100% honest I'm sooooo scared! What if I cant keep this baby safe? What if it goes like our last pregnancy, I see others so excited about sharing their happy news, I'm not ready to as I am to darn scared of the 'What if's...' Feels like the worry never stops.

  5. The Following User Says Thank You to BEAUTIFULBUTTERFLY For This Useful Post:

    MummyLip  (16-06-2011)

  6. #525
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    Mel do you have any pain now? I'm having some small sharp pains hoping it's normal and not an infection

  7. #526
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    Hi. I just found out today that I'm going to miscarry any time now. I have been reading your stories and am very moved. Is there ever a time you stop crying? I just can't imagine being able to pick myself up and move on let alone start trying again. How are you all so brave?? How did you cope? Do you ever lose this numb feeling? Thinking of you all and am moved by your strength.

  8. #527
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    Hi Meg7,

    So sorry you've been told the bad news aswell, it's just so heartbreaking to hear. Try not to worry youself about how you are going to move on and TTC again. It's still early days for you and the early ones really are the hardest. Just trying to get through each day as it comes, it will get a bit easier in time I promise.

    With me I am very up and down still, I still struggle with the 'numb' feeling you talk about everyday. Even though we were told our bad news 3 weeks ago I only m/c naturally last weekend and have my final scans today before I can put the physical side to all this behind me. I think once that is all out of the way I'll be able to focus more on the emotional side although I'm not sure how I plan to tackle that yet.

    There is really nothing I can say that'll take your pain away right now but know you are not alone and this feeling will not last forever. For now just let yourself do/feel whatever you need to. I hope to hear in the comming days/weeks that everything is getting a bit easier for you. Sorry that you've found yourself in this thread. xx

    BeautifulB - I'm so glad you've seen bubs heartbeat! It must be hard to enjoy the early days of pregnancy with the m/c worries, it was bad enough for me first time round. I hope to read good things on here in the comming weeks and months.
    Last edited by Autumnlove; 17-06-2011 at 08:17.

  9. #528
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    Hi Mel,

    I'm really sorry to hear about your little boy, Joshua. The CDH journey I know well. My 2 year old was born with it, and even with a survivor it's a rough track.

    I just wanted to let you know that there is a support group you may like to look up. If you go to CDH Australia you can join the forum there. There is one regular member, Margaret who also chose to say goodbye to her little boy due to his severe condition. She may be a good person to talk to, if you feel you need it. There are so many wonderful parents who would offer advise and support.

    Please look after yourself.

    Chrissy

  10. #529
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    hi all.

    sorry i can't remember if i have posted in here yet the last 2 -3 weeks have been all over the place and i am just starting to get me head in order.

    my son jonathon was born at the end of last month following fetal demise, i was nearly 18 weeks pregnant but it seems my precious boy had passed away a couple of weeks earlier . to make a bad situation worse we had just moved interstate and had absolutely no local support network. my friends from bub hub have been the greatest support i could have had but nothing can replace a hug and a good cry with a sympathetic friend. IYKWIM?

    i don't really know where to go from here. i'm definitely not in the head space of TTC again. i'm not even sure if i want to try again- i don't know if i could cope with it a second time. i feel like we are a bit in limbo as we wait for the test results and autopsy report. i know i nead to find a path towards healing but i'm resistant to do anything that would move me away from my son (figuratively speaking). i don't WANT to let go yet.

    Does anyone have any advice for healing without "letting go"?

  11. #530
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    Another November group tragedy

    I'm so sorry to hear.

    I've just been scouring the Internet for quotes and music and it's helping...

    There's a song I have on repeat... 'my name' by....


 

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