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  1. #501
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    Quote Originally Posted by Autumnlove View Post
    Gone backwards on the emotional side the last two days, I think it's because of all the hormone changes. I'm really struggling, I was going so good too, thinking positive and all. Finding it hard to eat, sleep or do anything, think I'll go back to work tomorrow even if the bleeding is still bad to attempt to snap myself out of this rut. Too bad I work on my own so not sure if it'll really help that much, we'll see.

    I don't know how I feel about TTC again, hoping by the time first AF is here I'm feeling more positive about the whole thing again. Right now the idea scares me but on the other hand all I want is a family of my own.

    Sorry for the negative post .
    Aww big hugs hun. Probably totally normal to have gone downhill. I think you mentioned you hadn't cried much etc in another thread. Go with it, cry, sob, don't do anything if you can avoid it. You don't have to snap out of it as it's only been a few days. Don't push yourself though with regard to work. Could be a good thing to keep your busy if you feel you need that.

    Feeling for you

  2. #502
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    Huge hugs Autumn I agree with Mitake. Go and cry and sob and scream and yell and let it all out. When the HCG drop rapidly it really plays with your emotions. I also got angry about why me? It is normal to have all these feelings. I took one week off work to sleep and grieve and rest. I think you need to give yourself soem time.

    I felt exactly the same about TTC. One one hand it gives us hope but on the other it is frightening. I always worry now about what if I miscarry again. It's so hard.

    I hope your DH is there to give you lots of hugs. Don't ever be sorry for a negative post. We are all here to listen. Let it all out. I feel really sad for you as I know how much those first few days of bleeding and loss hurt. Sad days happen. I had a little cry today too after my uncle rang and said he was worried about me. Just when I thought I was getting stronger I had a little relapse.

    Sorry for the rant.

    Jess, haven;t heard from you for while. Are you ok????

  3. #503
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    im here went to the docs on thursday she had no idea that i lost River the hospital hadnt send teh report to her she cheaked me out and everything is gone back to normal she said we can start TTC when we want to but are going to wait til next month i do have af back which is good knowing.
    went looking at wedding dresses friday had our engagement party saturday night so been kept busy was nice to ba happy for a little while feels good to be happy.

    im now just awaiting Rivers urn to come and i think then ill feel better

  4. #504
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    Hi All,

    Just thought i would drop in again, it has also been awhile.

    I have finally got my AF after all my issues and complications. I was so excited to see it, i texted my DH and he was also over the moon.
    Once it is finished i just need to wait for O to arrive and we will be TTC!!

    I was a little sad today when i was walking around the shopping center seeing all the pregnant ladies and the little bub's in the pram that we will be getting. but i thought to myself that we will be ready to TTC soon and will be happy for our bub to grow.

    Thinking of you all, big to everyone!

  5. #505
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    Hi ladies, hope you don't mind me joining you here. We lost our beautiful boy Joshua on Friday at 19 weeks. Josh was diagnosed with a severe Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia at 16 weeks and hubby and I made the difficult decision to say goodbye early.

    We are heartbroken, I just miss my baby and wish things were different for us - I wish I had never heard of CDH.

    I feel so emotionally drained, I dont know how to move forward... Im not sure i want too. I feel guilty too for the decision we had to make but I know that it was the right decision for us as a family and also for Josh - but that doesn't mean that it has to feel right either... I've been to see a psychologist today which has helped a little.
    I'm feeling dizzy on and off and to make things harder my body is still producing colostrum despite the doctor giving me tablets to stop it...

    I don't know where I fit on bubhub... I didn't m/c, I had to make the decision to end our journey because our baby was very sick. If there is somewhere more appropriate for me, let me know.

    I'm so sorry that everyone here has experienced loss. I don't think anyone should ever have to experience the heartache of losing a baby.

  6. #506
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    Mel I am really sorry to hear of the loss of your baby boy. You belong in this thread if you want to stay and the women in here are fabulous and supportive. Are you having a ceremony/ funeral for Josh? I am sure you and your family made the right decision and I hope in time your guilt and pain eases. How's your hubby going? How is your other child coping?
    Big hugs if there is anything we can do to help just ask. I have recommended before in this thread the SANDS organisation their phone counselors helped me but they also have support groups and they may be able to put you in contact with women who have experienced the same thing.

    Ups and downs good to hear AF is back so you're back in with a chance to TTC when ready. What are your plans? Do you use OPK's?

    Jess when are you getting married? It's nice to have a celebration and your and your fiancee must be so excited. I can't believe your doc didn't know. That's poor communication. I hope little River's urn comes home soon.

  7. #507
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    Hubby isn't really talking about how he feels which worries me a little. I know men deal with grief different but I wish I knew how he was feeling.

    Dd didnt know she had a little brother on the way. She's only 22 months so she's too young to understand. I'm glad I never told her about the bubby in my tummy because I really have no idea how I would tell her that he has become an angel. When she is old enough to understand I will tell her someday.

    I would like to have a memorial service for but hubby isn't keen. We had a blessing/naming at the hospital by the chaplain which was nice. Does anyone know if I can have a plaque or inter his ashes at the cemetery or does the fact that he was born before 20 weeks gestation and we don't have a birth/death certificate mean that we are unable too?

  8. #508
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    Quote Originally Posted by melj83 View Post
    I don't know where I fit on bubhub... I didn't m/c, I had to make the decision to end our journey because our baby was very sick. If there is somewhere more appropriate for me, let me know.
    That breaks my heart Mel as I feel the same way. But having said that don't go anywhere, stay here and vent and grieve the loss of your precious Josh. It's not fair and the accompanying guilt can make your grief so much worse. There is a medically induced termination section that I suppose thankfully has little members. Not sure whether thats because it's not common or they are too scared to post. BUt anyway I totally understand everything you would be feeling and there are many lovely ladies in here to support and listen

  9. #509
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    Quote Originally Posted by melj83 View Post
    I would like to have a memorial service for but hubby isn't keen. We had a blessing/naming at the hospital by the chaplain which was nice. Does anyone know if I can have a plaque or inter his ashes at the cemetery or does the fact that he was born before 20 weeks gestation and we don't have a birth/death certificate mean that we are unable too?
    I'm not sure about rules in the cemetary. That was a nice idea to have the blessing at the hospital. We had B cremated and her teeny urn lives on the mantlepiece. The boys know it is filled with her special angel dust that the funeral director caught when she went to heaven. I remmebr reading somethingin the hospital literature about funerals/cemetarys but can't rememebr exactly which is a huge help, not! Maybe someone else knows

  10. #510
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    Quote Originally Posted by melj83 View Post
    Hubby isn't really talking about how he feels which worries me a little. I know men deal with grief different but I wish I knew how he was feeling.

    Dd didnt know she had a little brother on the way. She's only 22 months so she's too young to understand. I'm glad I never told her about the bubby in my tummy because I really have no idea how I would tell her that he has become an angel. When she is old enough to understand I will tell her someday.

    I would like to have a memorial service for but hubby isn't keen. We had a blessing/naming at the hospital by the chaplain which was nice. Does anyone know if I can have a plaque or inter his ashes at the cemetery or does the fact that he was born before 20 weeks gestation and we don't have a birth/death certificate mean that we are unable too?
    So sorry for your loss. I know our local cemetery in Syd has a 'garden of angels' which is a place for commemorating children taken too soon. I hope you have lots of support to help you through this time.


 

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