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    Default Birth certificate question

    Hi,

    When the father of bub to be found out I was pregnant and wouldn't have an abortion he refused to have anything to do with me or the baby.

    Although I will always think that he is a selfish coward I have dealt with his choice and think it is probably for the best.

    My questions is what do do about the birth certificate.

    I had told myself that I wasn't going to claim child support from the father. I earn so much that the amount he would ever have to pay while I'm working is not worth the hassle of going through the humiliation and pain of dealing with him again. In that case, I saw little point with trying to get him to sign the birth certificate.

    But lately I have been thinking that should anything happen to me and I not be able to work then he SHOULD be made responsible for supporting our child. I have heard that it would be really hard to put in a child support claim if he is not on the certificate.

    Do you think I should put him on? Knowing him he will refuse to sign it so what do I have to do then?

    Thanks for any advice!!!

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    Firstly congratulations on the baby. This exact thing has happened to many of us on here, so you'll get lots of different opinions!

    My FOB left the country when I was about 8 weeks pregnant. I had thought I wouldn't want him on the BC or paying CS. But when Esme arrived I felt that I needed to be honest about everything to do with her. I didn't want to lie on any legal forms, so I told the registry who he was. He denied to them that he was the father, so they issued a blank BC. Then I put in a claim for CS. The CSA contacted him, he denied he was the father. So I went to legal aid. They filed papers with the court naming him as the father. He agreed to a paternity test. After the results came back he signed all the relevant paperwork and I'm now waiting to see if he pays CS. I earned more than him last year, but as I have 100% care he still has to pay me $100 a week, in theory. If he'd refused the paternity test the court would most likely have declared him the father anyway.

    Now, some people will tell you that it makes life more difficult if you have their name on the BC. You don't need it for CS. You can apply for CS afterwards and the paternity test and court stuff is enough. If he's on the BC you need his permission, or you have to go to court, to get a passport or travel abroad.

    Some of the FOBs, when threatened with CS, say they will apply for custody. I would have been delighted if mine wanted anything to do with Esme, so I didn't get that particular threat.

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    Big 's for you. With both of my two kiddies, when I filled in their birth certificate forms (the ones the hospital gave us), I put their dads name on it both times and he didn't have to sign anything Only I had to sign it..

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    Quote Originally Posted by Semana View Post
    Big 's for you. With both of my two kiddies, when I filled in their birth certificate forms (the ones the hospital gave us), I put their dads name on it both times and he didn't have to sign anything Only I had to sign it..
    Are you married? Because if anyone could put anyone's name on a birth certificate without their permission Brad Pit would have a lot of kids!

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    I never thought about it that way. But no, my kids father and I aren't married. I filled in all the forms at the hospital, signed them and sent them away. I didn't get him to sign any of the forms but I did receive the birth certificates and they both have his name on them.

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    Thank you all for your advice!

    My real issue is with bubs welfare if I'm not around. It irks me that he should have no responsibility at all. He's 34 and we have known each other for 10 years and dated for nearly 4 of that so it's not as if he's a one night stand!

    but all that said I think at this stage I will not put him on the birth certificate.

    I would llike to take bub overseas etc and don't want him preventing that. Also, he's the type of person who in 5 or so years time will have some sort of mid life crisis then all of a sudden decide he wants to be a dad. If he's not on the certificate at least I will have time to get advice before having to deal with that too.

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    The thing is; their BC is an important artifact in a child's life. It's part of their heritage and identity. And it's a legal record of who their parents are. By not putting him on the BC you're pretending your baby doesn't have a father, but that's not the truth, especially if you've known him for years. I think it's important to think really hard about how your child will feel about their father, not just how you want them to feel. People will tell you that they don't miss what they've never had, but that's trite nonsense. Their father is 50% of their heritage, identity and genetics. How they came to exit is important. You child is likely to want to know as much as possible about their father, and his absence will make them sad. By having him on the BC and paying CS your child will know that their father acknowledges their existence, and in some cases that's as good as it gets. But it's something. In depriving your child of that you may be depriving them of the only evidence they have of their father.

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    hmmm,

    You raise some really good points. I always intended to tell bub who thier father was and would never try to influence how they feel, simply tell the truth. However, I do worry about the consequences if he/she asks or tries to contact the father but get rejected.

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    Quote Originally Posted by sweetperfectchild View Post
    The thing is; their BC is an important artifact in a child's life. It's part of their heritage and identity. And it's a legal record of who their parents are. By not putting him on the BC you're pretending your baby doesn't have a father, but that's not the truth, especially if you've known him for years. I think it's important to think really hard about how your child will feel about their father, not just how you want them to feel. People will tell you that they don't miss what they've never had, but that's trite nonsense. Their father is 50% of their heritage, identity and genetics. How they came to exit is important. You child is likely to want to know as much as possible about their father, and his absence will make them sad. By having him on the BC and paying CS your child will know that their father acknowledges their existence, and in some cases that's as good as it gets. But it's something. In depriving your child of that you may be depriving them of the only evidence they have of their father.


    My sons father isnt on his BC, FOB wouldnt sign but i really would like him on it tried to get my lawyer to put it forward to the court but she wouldnt said i should just be happy with getting him to sign the forms to get child support.

    I still want FOB's name on there, can it be done with just DNA results? is there anyway i can do it without him signing as he wont .

    I think it would be a horrible feeling to have a blank spot something i dont want my son to feel even tho yes his father walked away and doesnt want anything to do with him.

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    I didn't get him to sign any of the forms but I did receive the birth certificates and they both have his name on them.
    wow, they sent mine back because I had written his name in the father section - and told me I had to cross his name off and write beside the signature panel "refuses to sign"

    i'd like his name on there, he knows that and said he will


 

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