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  1. #1
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    Default still find it hard... don't know what to do

    just thought i'd leave a message as i haven't for a very long time, and thought maybe there would be some of you who feel the same way as me...

    feels like everyone around me is pregnant. just found out my dp's brother's fiance is too now.
    has anyone else lost a baby, but can't be a ttcer yet?
    it's nearly been a year since i first found out i was pregnant. not planned, but once we found out dp & i wanted it so bad. yet for some reason or another it wasn't to be.

    anyway dp & i still live apart (which after a year and a half together is so hard), and he wants to save up and get married before trying again. i'm getting on with my life, but at times i feel so sad and just want to know for once that i can actually have kids one day, i mean i have no idea i know yes it could have just been a one off but who knows maybe i can't have children.

    anyway sorry for the 'poor me' moment just feel like it's weighing me down at the moment and i don't know what to do.

    i have a great job here but that's about it. should i move to dp and finally start our life or just spend my time thinking about it? does anyone else have similar stories of waiting and it being productive or should i take the risk with the job and be with him? i have a little money saved up but that's about it.

    thanks

  2. #2
    Join Date
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    HI Brunettechick. I'm sorry to hear for your loss. Personally I don't think its something I will ever get over, I'll always carry it in my heart.

    I think you can definately have children, its a shame that you got off on a bad start but that doesn't mean you can't carry full term and have lovely kids in the future.

    To answer your question, I am going to start ttc again but only because we have had fertility problems with my first born and I want to try and get pregnant again. If I fell at the drop of a hat then I'd probably wait a bit longer. I am 31 and hubby is 39 too so that factors in.

    Just thinking about pregnancy and all that again hurts. I don't know if I will ever get over it and am wondering what I can do to stop the pain. I assure myself that I was lucky I didn't loose it at a later date or god forbid stillbirth. That would be truely devestating.

    I want to scream from the rooftops 'GIVE ME BACK MY BABY!' And when I fall pregant again I know I"m going to feel guilty and greieve for the other baby that never was.

    Do you feel that your baby just wasn't ready yet? Maybe the timing just wasn't right? I know its not a good enough reason for your baby to leave but it might offer some comfort.

    I think when the time is right to try again you will know. From what you have said I think it would be wise to move in with your DP and see how that goes before trying. You never know how different your life could be until you try Can he move in with you? Do you have to go there?

    I'm sure other people have told you this but you are young and have lots of time on your side. In the meantime it wouldn't hurt to find out why you miscarried and if there are any underlying medical conditions. Ask for some test. Then you can be aware of them and might decide to try falling sooner if they tell you have PCOS or something (like me) that makes it difficult.
    Or they could tell you there is nothing wrong with you and you will most likely fall again and carry full term.

    A doctor told me that since I've m/c now I have a lower risk of m/c again.

    hugs to you! I don't know much else I can say but feel free to chat on here with everyone.
    Last edited by lizzymcfizzy; 09-06-2009 at 12:24.


 

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