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  1. #11
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    Hi,

    I managed a 11month gap between DS and DD major suprise and love them to death but wouldn't have them so close if i could change it only because i was sooooo sick with DD and had an 8 week old baby to deal with and no family to help and by the time i stopped chucking my guts up i was getting a very large belly and the found it difficult to hold DS and do all that i would have liked to and when DD finally arrived i was so busy chasing around after my 11mth old i kind of missed out on her. So i don't know if i made much sense with all of that but what I'm trying to get across is that i had 2 beautiful babies but i really feel i missed out on enjoying them as babies having said that they are the best of friends and get asked all the time if they are twins. We are now trying for baby number 3 and wouldn't mind if we get twins as i think that would be easier as they are at the same stage.

    sorry for my rambling
    Mel

  2. #12
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    363 days apart. oct 4, then oct 2.

    not planned.. but not concerned at the time either [well obviously not enough to do anything about it].

    i would often get told by parents of twins, it was worse because, they are so close yet on different schedules & so very overwhelming & tiring.

    i mainly regret it now.. as i dont feel they got enough quality time that belonged just to them.. either bub 1 because i was pregnant & unwell [physically, mentally & emotionally] & bub 2, because i was dealing with a soon to be toddler.
    i feel sad just thinking about it actually, especially when every day i still struggle with seeing how they attach to each other as one identity.. im sure partly normal kid stuff, but i notice it alot.........

  3. #13
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    Hiya,

    I only have one bubba at the moment, but i just felt like commenting. I think almost everyone thinks their situation is by far the best of course.

    I guess and there are definatly mums out there who wouldnt or dont cope with such a small age gap, but there are also mums that struggle to cope regardless of there kids ages.

    I think there are advantages and disadvanatages to every age gap, but so long as you have a good support system built around you (parents, friends, nurses, childcare, playgroup) you can do whatever you and your partner feel most comfortable with. Im sure you know your personality type well enough to know whether you could handle the intitial challenges.

    (I will be have a just over 2 year gap, because know i wouldnt cope with a smaller gap, but thats just me)

    Good luck with deciding!

  4. #14
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    We have 12 month gaps and love it, we wanted 15-18 month gap between #4 and #5 as the close age gaps just worked really well for us but it took a while longer to concieve this time around so we have nearly 3 year age gap! My daughters are 12 months apart though and they are absolutely inseperable. They are gorgeous to watch together and just get along really well.

    The first few months after #4 was born were quite tough but thats such a short time in the scheme of things! And it wasn't just 2 under 18 months we had 4 aged 4 and under!

    You cope with what you've got though, if you feel ready then go for it!

  5. #15
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    Hi Indigoz,

    I was so glad when i read your post to see that there was another mum with 2 so close together that has the exact same feelings not alot of people understand what i mean when i say yes i have 2 children but i really feel like i have not had a baby to enjoy for all the reasons you mentioned. I have also been told that multiples would be easier as they do things at the same stage.

    Mel

  6. #16
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    My 2 are 18 months apart and i love it. It is so easy and fun. DS hasn't quite figured out we are separate people so we are always next to each other and DD is always next to me as well. When DD was born, DS was sleeping through but he was still too little to be jealous.

    I think it would be a lot more work having a 2 yr age gap because the eldest one would be acting really independent and jealous and i would be trying to get him to not hurt the baby.

    They are at the stage where they are starting to play together and i love it. When people tell me that it must be hard work, i respond with "Nope. It is a blast and i enjoy every second of my day."

  7. #17
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    I have 3 boys and from my eldest to my youngest I have a total of 13 months and 13 days. Between number 1 and number 2 there is 18 mins.

    Haing the twins was easy as when they were babies they were at the same stage and same everything so it was only one time of introducing solids. But when they were 5 months old i fell pregnant with my unplanned number 3 boy. The twins started to walk the day i went into labour with him so i actually missed out on their first steps. I was 6 weeks of giving birth and 8 weekes off my due date at the twins first birthday but i still did all the catering and i made 2 cakes and i did the invitations i did it all not because i didnt have a good support group but they didnt want to help when it was needed they wanted to help only when it meant doing the fun stuff like bathing, feeding etc.
    But getting their hands dirty wasnt in their idea of support. So my advice to you is to get a really good support group but also make sure they are the right support group for you and your needs.

    I am now pregnant with number 4 and my youngest is now 5 1/2 and in Kindergarten.

  8. #18
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    there is 17mionths between number 1 and number 2, and 15months between number 2 and number 3. i wouldnt have it any other way, we purposly timed our gaps to have them close together. i have loved every minute(well most of the time) of my kids.
    there are challenges as the older ones dont understand why your cuddling/rocking the baby when they want to be held. i make it work by having a routine and good support. as i also work fulltime i really couldnt do it without my mum and dh.
    we are planning number4 atm, which we are hoping there will be a 2.5yr gap between 3 and 4, then if all goes well a small gap between number4 and 5.

  9. #19
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    I have 12 months 2.5 weeks between DD1 and DD2, and 18 months between DD2 and DD3.
    Don't regret it at all. Hard and challenging at times when they were younger. Going to the shops when I forgot the pram. Nightmare. Lol!
    Now my oldest is 5, middle is 4, and youngest is 2.5.
    Getting easier and easier everyday. They are super close. Just hard sometime now factoring sporting activities and all the notices!!! Lol!

  10. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by mummyof3girls View Post
    I have 12 months 2.5 weeks between DD1 and DD2, and 18 months between DD2 and DD3.
    Don't regret it at all. Hard and challenging at times when they were younger. Going to the shops when I forgot the pram. Nightmare. Lol!
    Now my oldest is 5, middle is 4, and youngest is 2.5.
    Getting easier and easier everyday. They are super close. Just hard sometime now factoring sporting activities and all the notices!!! Lol!
    Forgot to add. Would love a 4th. But have to wait and see! Maybe when my little one is in prep.


 

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