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  1. #1
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    Default Telling the parents - advice please?

    Hi
    According to my calculations, I'm about 5 weeks pregnant. And having a bit of dilemma about whether to tell the parents...
    My Mum is soooo ready to be a Grandma. My Dad died about 3 years ago and I think she feels it would fill a hole that she has. I'd love to tell her but am worried about it for two reasons: 1. she will be incredibly upset (probably more than me) if it doesn't stick; and 2. I don't think she'll be able to keep a secret and I'm such a private person and don't want people knowing if there turns out to be a problem.
    DH's Mum - DH wants to tell her, in fact wanted to tell her last week. I don't feel like we can tell one and not the other. Also, I know that as soon as we tell DH's Mum then everyone on that side of the family plus all the friends will know. And again, I don't want to have to discuss it with them if the worst happens.

    What is everyone else doing? (or did?)
    Any advice?

  2. #2
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    Hi there

    congrats on your pregnancy!

    I personally have told my Mum about all of my pg's nice and early..well this one I've only just told her at 7 weeks. She knows not to say anything to anyone as well. I love the support I get from her in the early weeks.

    I think you will find that you will want the support from someone other than DH if something goes wrong. I have had 3 miscarriages and I found the support I got from my Mum and friends great, I would have been lost with out them. Yes my Mum was devestated with the loses but you can greive together.

    Good luck and I HTH.

  3. #3
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    You have to go with your gut instinct on this one.

    I personally regret telling my immediate family when I had my miscarriage. When I got pregnant again we kept it from them until we had our scan.

    BTW....

    CONGRATULATIONS

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by houseofblue View Post
    Hi there

    congrats on your pregnancy!

    I personally have told my Mum about all of my pg's nice and early..well this one I've only just told her at 7 weeks. She knows not to say anything to anyone as well. I love the support I get from her in the early weeks.

    I think you will find that you will want the support from someone other than DH if something goes wrong. I have had 3 miscarriages and I found the support I got from my Mum and friends great, I would have been lost with out them. Yes my Mum was devestated with the loses but you can greive together.

    Good luck and I HTH.
    It was nice to share the excitement with family, and it was also great that they were there when we also suffered a loss. This time around we are going great and the family have once again been really supportive.

    If you tell them and ask that they keep it to themselves, they probably will. It's not nice, but some pregnancies don't stick and people know that. So if you explain you want to wait until after your 12 week scan to announce it to everyone else, they should hopefully honour your wishes!

    Good luck with it all and enjoy the ride!

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    Personally I told everyone really early coz whatever happens you are pregnant and I wanted support if it didnt turn out. Im sure your mum will be thrilled! My mum also couldnt keep a secret but she respected my wishes and I ended up telling the grandmas early on anyway as we had an early scan. I think every pregnancy is a celebration and Im sure your family will be just as excited as you

    CONGRATS

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    hi,
    i told my family very early on. i think i was 7 weeks? but didnt tell friends. I guess i told them because it was a special moment and i didnt want them to find out after the typical 12week period along with every one else.

    A friend of mine also put it this way. If the worst does happen - it would be easier to have family/friends as a support instead of them not knowing what was happening.

    congratulations! i think your mum would be thrilled to know early. especially since she is so wanting to be a grandma

  7. #7
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    We decided to tell our family very early . If something terrible happened then we would have people who loved and supported us around us.

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    I have had 2 early losses and my immediate family and close friend knows about the first one, but only my mum and my friend know about the second one.

    When I get my next BFP I think I'll only tell my immediate family after I have had blood tests confirming that my hcg is rising, and then everyone else after a scan says everything is okay. It's too heartbreaking to have to tell people about a pregnancy loss. But I am a fairly private person generally.

    I know if I told my parents not to tell anyone else, they would respect that.

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    I told my Mum first up & said to her that i didnt want anyone to know, she only told Dad. I knew if it didnt stick id have their support.

    Other reason i told them was due to having morning sickness so bad, that was something i couldnt hide & as far as everyone else was concerned i just had a tummy bug that turned into 3 bugs.

  10. #10
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    RoseKathleen is offline ...Yes - motherhood is a full-time job!
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    I like to keep it a secret for as long as possible. After we got married we had to endure everyone's "when are you going to get pregnant" questions. It was heartbreaking as we were trying as hard as we could!

    After a miscarriage I am sure they would've doubled in the questions! So if I can keep it secret I do!


 

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