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  1. #1
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    Default Coping with 18 month old and newborn at night

    My second child is due in June, which will mean an 18 month gap between my two children. My little boy (15 months old at the moment) still wakes a few times most nights and needs help to resettle.

    The baby will be in our room for the first few months but our bedroom is right next to my son's room and I am worried the baby is going to wake him up and I won't be able to go to my crying son while I am feeding the baby. My husband is away quite a few nights in the month for his job so he isn't always around to help.

    Has anyone had to deal with this? Is it possible to explain to an 18 month old on any level that Mum has to feed the baby? Any words of comfort or wisdom?? Thanks!

  2. #2
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    what does it take for u to settle your DS? maybe now is the best time to start getting him into a settling routine.

    you could possibly try setting a chair up in his room and when he wakes now, go in and sit on the chair making a gentle shh shh shh noise, that way he knows ur there but hasto settle without physical contact from u.

    if he can learn to settle from that, when your newborn wakes in the night for a feed if the crying wakes up your ds u could go in on the chair feeding bubba while shh shh shh'ing your toddler?

    this might not be any help because i dont know what it takes to calm you little boy but it could be worth a try!

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    I would definitely try and get you DS sleeping sorted out. I have a 19month old and am due in 4 wks. Although DD does wake in the middle of the night, I don't go to her,unless she is screaming and I can tell when it's a "Mum I need you now" and a "Mum I want a cuddle"

    I put some books and toys in her cot once she is alseep so if she wakes up, she plays with them until she is tired again. It took her a couple of nights to get used to, but I often hear her (on one of my many bathroom trips!) talking to herself and looking through her books.

    I don't think I could handle having to get up for 2 during the night, I think that would be super hard! So in my opinion I would do my best to get that sorted now. Also I don't think you can explain to an 18month old that you need to feed the baby, I'm pretty sure DD understands pretty much evertything, but that doesn't make her at all compromising!! I don't think that's something they develop for a while!

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    I ahve a 1-mth old dd and 6 week old ds we had the same situation a few months back. Although it was dificult we had to let dd learn to settle herself as her waking during the night for cuddles had become behavioral. It did only take a couple of nights and then when her baby brother came along i thought that she would be woken by him, but no she slept through, the first few nights she did wake at times but she soon got used to it and because we hadn't been settling her only getting up puttin dummy back in and walking back out of her room w ehad no problems.

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    OJandMe is offline I am the strength my children will have.
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    Could you have them both in the same room????

    Might be a bit easier for your 18month old if they can actually see you looking after the baby... and you can talk to them in soothing tones to let them know that they can have a cuddle soon.

    I don't know... just an idea.

    My 1yr old was sleeping through when the baby was born....

    And on the occassions they did wake at night, luckily it was at different times...

    If it was at the same time, DH got up.. but that doesn't sound like it will always work for you.

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    we all co slept.. but my dh also is here at night.

    would it be possible for him to settle with a sippy cup of water and leave that in his cot.. my son did this untill he refused his cot at 20months old.

    would it be possible for you to bring him in your room and feed your new born and with your other hand place it on your chest..

    dont worry about the noise they get used to it

    my 2 now never wake each other up. both still wake up overnight too.

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    my son was 20 months old when my baby arrived, he wakes a couple of times at night for a cuddle from me. my DH also works away. he is in a single bed so if i was busy with the baby, he would just walk into my room and we'd all cuddle up together. often he ends up sleeping on one side of me and i feed bub on the other side. he DOES understand that i need to feed our baby and will snuggle up next to us.
    a couple of times, i have taken the baby and fed him while laying in the toddler's bed!

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    Wow. You mums are amazing. Mine are 11 and a half years apart! I'm all for the co-sleeping.


 

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