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  1. #961
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    I feel overwhelmed most of the time, and I too feel like no one understands me. I don't so much hate being a mum, I am just frustrated about 99% of the time, and have trouble finding the fun in it.
    I remind myself daily that it will get better..

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    I think we cope because DS is our only child.

    I think we'd struggle if we had other children to care for as well.

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    I'm not coping with anything at the moment either. Mr 8 is not doing very well. Meetings at the school every week but no real answers. Meltdowns have increased even happened at school the other day. Mr 2.5 is just as bad. But the accidents are getting worse. The fact that he doesn't feel pain most of the time and daycare isn't following the instructions doesn't help. I also feel like everyone thinks I'm crazy. But they are starting to see what I'm dealing with.

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    Quote Originally Posted by bigZ View Post
    How do you all cope? I am not coping at the moment. I don't know if I have ever coped. No one understands they all just think I am crazy. I don't know how to do this. I thought I was going to love being a mum. Right how I hate it. I feel like I just suck at the whole thing and everyone knows it.
    I am sorry that you feel you aren't coping at the moment. It's a horrible feeling. Do you have a support network to lean on/help out while you are feeling like this?

    My coping depends on multiple factors - the main one lately is how my DD is going at the time. If things are calm, I am coping. If things are out of control, I struggle. I also see a psychologist who really helps me with practical coping strategies and is a great person to cry/complain/whinge to when necessary. Having people to talk to who 'get it' also helps alot. Linking in with other parents with children on the spectrum makes me feel less isolated and alone.

  5. #965
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    It's hard when you don't feel supported by those around your child, and you! When you don't have the answers and it feels like you are banging your head again a brick wall.

    I am struggling with really wishing he was "normal" at the moment. We went out for lunch with my family today. It was horrible we stayed for 10 minutes. Before getting there he had run from the car (luckily we live on a road with only a few houses and a dead end street) I had to change him again before we even got to the car because I had told him not to play with water but he did anyway. My mum was there she said he'll dry. Yes he will but his clothes were covered in water. He was dripping! When we got there before we got out of the car I told all the kids that they needed to listen to us. Because we were at a place with strangers and cars around we needed to listen. And that we would have some good first then they would be givin a chance to have a run around. If they didn't listen to us then we would have to go back home. As soon as we got out of the car he ran off, I yelled out to stop or we will have to go home. He stopped, he knew what I said. He turned around and started to come back then ran again. He almost got to the road before he was caught. I told him because he didn't listen we would have to go home now. So we packed everyone up again and left. My family cracked them with me, told me I was over reacting and he was fine. They just don't get it. And if he got to the road and he got hit by a car that would be my fault as well. Then my mum tells me he's just 3 and a half... So what that means he can do what he likes??? Because he has autism as I meant to let him do whatever he wants??? Seriously am I??? I don't know how to tell people I wouldn't any of my kids run off to a road. It's dangerous. Last key worker vibist we went to the park and they all started running off. They confirmed that we need to end the fun when they are doing the wrong thing.
    I just cried the whole way home. I wanted to enjoy the day too. I wanted to have a nice lunch out in the nice weather too. I wanted to sit down and relax too. I wanted to kick the ball around with them too but it's just not that easy.
    My cousin has just had a baby, he's perfect. He just sits there and looks around, he doesn't cry, he doesn't whimper, he just does nothing but be cut. I find myself hating them!
    I have no idea what I am doing, I have no idea how to deal with him, I have no idea how to deal with my other kids when I deal with him.
    My husband and I are not confident parents, especially in front of other people. We have no clue. I find myself resenting my husband at the moment too. When I am frustrated he is frustrated. When I am angry he is angry. When he is i am the calmer... I have no calmer. And I resent him for that.

    I just wish this was so much easier. I am bearly holding it together.

  6. #966
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    Your not over reacting. Your not being over protective. No.. they don't get it. It's not the same.
    Children generally have a pretty good understanding of boundaries, especially if you set them. And know if Mum or Dad tells them to "GET OFF THE ROAD" it means get off or you are in deep trouble! And for the most part they might listen.
    Tell that to a child with Autism that has selective hearing, tunnel vision, or just blatantly ignores you. Do not understand boundaries and will continue to do that.
    My DS2 is exactly this way, you can have a full conversation with DS2, and know that you are more or less talking to yourself, and you know the moment he will let go of your hand, he will bolt and wont stop if you yell at him to do so.
    This is why I shop online now. 30mins on the PC is much better then 2hrs of me getting angry because DS1 is cutting in front of people, running with a mini trolly, asking me every 10 seconds for something he can't have, or worse taking something out of the store without paying for it.
    While DS2 is crying in distress because he can't take being in aisles because of them being narrow. He gets anxious when he feels confined. Elevators are nightmares.

    DH and I do go off at each other when things with the kids get frustrating. But we understand that we aren't necessarily angry with each other, just the crap situation we are in. ANd we remind each other of this, or else we will start making it personal.

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    @bigZ I can very much relate to your frustrations.

    Our DS requires such a high level of supervision because he has no sense of danger. He will just run off.

    There are certain activities like picnics that a lot of families enjoy, but to parents like us it means constantly running around after your child because they won't just sit down like the other children. They won't eat and enjoy the food that everyone else happily eats. They will want to do the same thing over and over, and will crack it when you try and redirect them. IT'S HARD.

    We took DS on a ferry ride on the weekend and he repeatedly asked to go swimming in the water. I have no doubt he'd jump in there if he didn't have adequate supervision.

    For us, the good moments outweigh the tough times, but when we do have those really rough moments or rough days, it's like a firm kick in the guts.

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    bigZ  (28-10-2015)

  10. #968
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    Yep Degrassi has it right.

    Ds1 is my no1 public offender.

    Went to a kiddy farm with 4 of my DIG friends. And while their kids happily fed feed to the farm animals. There is me running after my DS2 2 fields away.

    Went to one of those park picnic parties. Kids are all hanging around the playground. Again my DS2 is chasing birds trees away. Spent my time trying to distract him with food. But he kept stealing other kids cupcakes to suck the icing off.

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    Hi there. I'm not sure where to post - if I'm allowed to post here - as my little guy has not been diagnosed.
    He's 2.6 years old.
    We had a development assessment done when he was 20 months. He scored very low for communication and was diagnosed with language delay. Have seen a paediatrician who has said that its a possibility he's on the spectrum but wants to hold off til he's a little older as its not clear.
    Have been trying to find a forum or Facebook group where could talk to parents in similar situation but haven't had much luck.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mamapanda View Post
    Hi there. I'm not sure where to post - if I'm allowed to post here - as my little guy has not been diagnosed.
    He's 2.6 years old.
    We had a development assessment done when he was 20 months. He scored very low for communication and was diagnosed with language delay. Have seen a paediatrician who has said that its a possibility he's on the spectrum but wants to hold off til he's a little older as its not clear.
    Have been trying to find a forum or Facebook group where could talk to parents in similar situation but haven't had much luck.
    Hi and welcome

    You are certainly welcome to post here. We're a pretty supportive bunch. It's nice to be able to vent and discuss stuff with others that understand.


 

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