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  1. #71
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    Quote Originally Posted by SethandRuby'sMum View Post
    kylie - your too funny no not thottling my parents...... yet


    seth said "ball" with the help of the PECS system

    early intervention tomorrow too. getting very excited now..

    hope your all well

    to all
    Hi Rosie, you posted while i was tapping away, lol.

    Yay for Seth and his pecs system. Hasn't eaten all the pics yet then,
    Enjoy your early intervention session.
    Keeping everything for you to have a house of your own soon...

  2. #72
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    Hi Ladies
    Hi KYLIE you are such a funny lady. You seem to be in a good mood with your lot at the moment. That is great to see. What a bummer about the march in sydney. I wanted to tell you to get onto the web site www.dotolearn.com it is good for free printables of daily things. It has words or no words and are black and white so I print them off and colour them in then laminate them for Peter. They have every thing from getting out of bed in the morning to Dr'S visits to school stuff and parks and weather. It is really good you just print off a sheet of them and it prints. Just pick the size from 1inch to 2 inch pictures. Good luck I hope it helps.
    Rosie good to hear Seth is doing well. for the word ball. Sorry to hear about you living at the Parents house. It does not sound safe. Oh well lets just hope you can get into your own place quickly! Take care.
    SARA sorry to hear you are not well again. I know what you mean by the whinging and crying. It is driving me nuts too. It must be that our girls are strong willed because Emily takes on her brother and is so cranky with him. He lashes back and pinches her and hits her when HE thinks we can't see it happening. It is driving me nuts. Well i can feel for you today as I am at home. I woke up with vertigo and thought I would be ok for work but when I got there I was sick so I came home. Have had a lie down and feel a little better. There have been lots of girls off with a very nasty virus. Lets hope I don't have it. I am thinking I just needed a rest. Both kids are at school and daycare so I get some me time. Well feeling head spins again so best be off. Take care all. Letitia.

  3. #73
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    It was Sophie's birthday on Monday. We went to the zoo - which was fantastic, even if we didn't get to stay there more than 90minutes. For her birthday Sophie got a big bed and we got rid of the cot. She was delighted and has been happily playing in it. The sleeping is getting better too, the first night she woke a couple of times wanting attention but last night she only wanted attention when Nadia woke her up. So she's transitioned much better than we imagined.

    Happy Birthday NAOMI!! I know that her birthday is coming up soon and I don't want to forget!

    Thanks for all your well wishes. I do feel I say that Sophie is developing well a lot. I think it's because we are actually seeing change. But sometimes I wonder if I say it more to convince and reassure myself that she really is developing well.

    She certainly is more interested in interacting, she says "hello (insert name)" and seems to point out things more in order to discuss. Apparently yesterday she touched another girl's hat and said, "pretty flower". This is excellent on 3 counts: she was initiating a conversation, she actually touched a practical stranger, and she's interested in another child.

    Her behaviour is better for the moment. She really is extraordinarily inconsistent. You never know what you're going to get day to day. The token system is working beautifully at the moment, I know there will still be tantrums but at least we have a way of handling them better.

    Great the hear the PECS system is working well for Seth. Some kids respond to 2D images better than 3D - just like our Sophie!!

    Sara: sorry to hear that you're having a hard time Toilet training is awful. I'm delaying and delaying it. I know we'll have to do it eventually....but right now she won't even go NEAR the toilet. So I'll have to bribe her with bikkies to get her near it and then sit on it. She's getting too big for nappies

  4. #74
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    Default Vent

    I am exhausted and I feel like crying.

    It's Archie's birthday today - he's 1. DH bought him a model car, the doors open and close... anyway Griff has formed an attachment to it, and won't go anywhere without it or let anyone take it from him. This morning, despite warnings to be gentle, he pulled off all the bits that could be removed (but aren't supposed to be removed) I took the car away from him (I explained why!) and he lost it. Griff was a screaming, crying, thrashing banshee. I put him in time out (sometimes works!), held him, patted him, tried to distract him with something else and nothing worked. He was like that for 10-15mins and then I decided to give the car back to him - instant calm.

    I hate it. We missed his speech appt. I took the boys into town later when Arch was up, we met DH in there. Griff in the stroller... all good until we walked past Thomas trains in a shop.

    I was so stressed - walking around with a kid who looks old enough to know better, people staring... and then a kid drives up on a motorised 4 wheeler in a shop and runs into me, reverses and then does it again!!!

    Griff's meltdowns are getting worse and I just don't know what to do. He's not even 3 yet and it takes all my strength just to hold him still so he doesn't hurt himself.

    this doesn't make any sense does it? Today is supposed to be a happy day, we're having people over for cake this afternoon, but all I want to do is be alone. I just don't feel like I'm handling anything

  5. #75
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    Hi Porridge. I know EXACTLY how you feel. You are describing my daughter in detail You never know when the meltdown is going to occur and she looks way older than she really is (and acts much younger).

    I noticed the meltdowns started happening far less and lately have happened hardly at all: unless she is tired or unwell or really hungry or in fear. Most of her meltdowns were about fear. So in getting older your son's tantrums will get better too as his communication does.

    Now, if you don't mind I'll give you some advice. Please feel free to ignore, change or consider the advice as you see fits your son.

    A few things:
    Firstly ABA requires us to take data. That means we write down exactly what happens when there is a tantrum or meltdown. How it starts, how intense it is, how long it goes for, and what the consequences were. Over a period of about a month we noticed some patterns, certain things that would set off tantrums and what was required of us to make them either not occur at all or make them stop. Soon you'll figure out what is setting him off and if he benefits out of it.

    Making them stop is not necessarily a good thing! If your boy requires you to give in, or say a particular phrase or do something like remove him from wherever he is then he requires you to do that thing EVERY TIME. So we learned to ignore Sophie's tantrums (unless she was hurt) she does self harm from time to time, so in those circumstances we hold her whilst she calms. It sounds cruel but it is the only way she learns to calm herself down without needing us there.

    It's very difficult at first. If he's tantrumming every day (like Sophie was - several times a day) then you have to prepare to have a few tough days at home riding it out. He sounds like a clever boy, he'll figure out you're not caving in no time. Now: this is important. You are not to cave in - as much as you can stand it! But if you ARE going to cave (and trust me you will from time to time, we are not superheroes!) then do it early. If he asks for the toy then you give it to him before he tantrums. Otherwise he learns that the tantrums will get him what he wants and it's a tougher cycle to break.

    We have a token system that is working really well for us at the moment. This means that when she gets upset she gets onto the red side and as she calms we put tokens on and when she has all the tokens she gets to leave the chair or the floor and play. She figured it out quickly and now is very keen to stay on the good side of the token board.

    In summary: figure out what's causing the tantrums and whether they are constant because he gets benefits out of it (this could simply be leaving the situation because autistics prefer to be alone). Avoid instigating tantrums as much as you can, slowly (one at a time and with very small steps) introduce one instance at a time that you will not tolerate tantrums. We taught Sophie to share, she would scream if her little sister went on any of the playground equipment, so over a long time we would reward Sophie for remaining calm whilst her sister would be on the equipment. Now she actually enjoys sharing as she receives great praise for it.

    Anyway, this is ABA at its best. If you're interested in learning more about ABA PM me or write back publicly and I can tell you more about it. It is a hugely effective scientific program that is intense and difficult and takes a huge amount of effort but with amazing results. But really there's many options of treatment to choose from. The girls here use other methods that they swear by.

    Good luck. It WILL get better. Look after yourself and don't beat yourself up. Looking after an autistic child is hard and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy (not that i have any! )

  6. #76
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    Hi ladies,

    Sorry no personals from me today, I've been having a rough time since I last posted.

    We've now got an official diagnosis from our paed: PDD-NOS, possibly Asperger's but that won't be clear until DS gets older.

    I've made contact with Autism Qld and I'm just waiting for an official diagnosis letter from the paed to be sent out to me so I can send it on to the various organisations to get help started.

    I know that its a step forward having a diagnosis confirmed but being suddenly presented with all these options and contact numbers etc is overwhelming to me I'm still finding it really hard to wrap my head around the fact that DS won't ever be considered 'normal' and on top of the worries for his future, I've started University and I have to try and fit in study time, get to lectures/tutorials/labs etc and still be able to get to work!

    It won't be easy but I really do seriously want to persist with Uni -- when I finally graduate I'll be in a position to give my family a better life, we'll have more financial stability and independence and I won't have to rely on Govt benefits anymore. That's something that's really important to me.

    So that's our journey so far --- lots of waiting for return phonecalls from various people and hoping to God that the daycare centres he's in let him stay long enough so that I can make sure he is in SEDU or daycare while I study so all this works out.

    At the end of the day, a diagnosis doesn't change how I feel about my little man.. of course I don't love him any less now that I know what we're dealing with. It's just going to take some time to compartmentalize all these emotions I'm experiencing.

    Take Care everyone.

  7. #77
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    Okay I've just decided not to take Sophie to kinder ever again. She'll still go to Kinder, I just won't take her The therapists can take her.

    Those children are just SO advanced!! They chatter and play so easily. When the teacher asks them to sit on the mat they go and sit, without tokens.

    Sophie had a tantrum when we got home as I'm running around - we have Brett's boss coming over for dinner any time now!! I'm just over it today. Seeing typical children is just too painful, I don't ever want to do it again. Please just fast forward the next year - hell, the next 5 years when it will all be so much better.

    How do you all manage to get up and do the stuff you need to do? I don't feel like doing anything, and there's constantly millions of annoying things to do, pay, clean and organise.

  8. #78
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    MyFourCubs is offline MyThreeCubs plus one- I am the luckiest Mum in the world...
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    Hi everyone I am going to be totally honest with you all here. I am reading your posts and keeping up with the thread but I am completely brain dead at the moment. I am virtually incapable of putting together intelligible sentances. I keep trying to post and just can't find the words. I am so bloody tired and am on quite heavy medication for my fibromyalgia and I am sure it compromises my abaility to be coherent. I am having trouble concentration, tracking things and remembering things. Pleas ebe patient with me!! That's why I'm not posting much at the moment on the whole forum, not just here. I am just exhausted.

    I know what you mean, Sarah, believe me I do. Thanks for the ABA stuff I am going to reda it all again when I can concentrate better.

    Hugs to all the rest of you, especially you scrapmad

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    Hi Ladies
    SARA I feel for you hope the medication does not get too bad for you. I am thinking of you and hope things don't get worse.
    MUMMY2SOPHIE Keep your chin up. We all get down and feel that way some times. I hope things improve soon for you. Hope Sophie had a good birthday.
    SCRAPMADMUM2K Hi hope all goes well at the daycare for your DS. It is good you got a DX even if it it breaks your heart. Good luck with all the study and hope it goes well. You have a tough job ahead of you being a mother, student and worker. Good luck with it all.
    PORRIDGE Happy birthday to Archie. Also I know what you mean about the strength in the kids during a melt down. My son is the same with the aggression and it worries me that he is so young now. I don't know what I will do when he is older. It scares me a bit. I have taken a few punches from him in melt downs and boy do they hurt. I will be getting his medication changed and hopefully it will make the aggression better. Good luck with every thing. just know there are others in the same position.
    KYLIE Hope you are all well.
    Well ladies I am off to bed a big day tomorrow. Take care all. Letitia.

  10. #80
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    Hi Ladies
    Hope everyone is well. Well I think I can say I am over this autism thing and would love to run away. Peter's aggression and naughty behavior are driving me nuts! I am so over it. I am going to ask the paed to change his medication to something else for the aggression instead of the anxiety. I am hoping there is something that will do the job of both.
    I think we can live with the anxiety but I can't take the aggression any more. His teacher is supportive and said she will support him in the classroom to limit the anxiety. He was aggressive towards his best friend today and she was very upset by it. I hope we can get through the next 9 weeks. We see the paed next friday but it will take up to 8 weeks for the medication to work fully. I think I need to stop venting now.
    Hope all you lovely ladies are well and that you are having a good day. Letitia. Sorry to be a downer today. Will try and get on after the kids are in bed.


 

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