+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 12
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    142
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    0
    Reviews
    0

    Default Is getting married still special when you already have kids

    I have been with my partner for 4 years. We have 2 children together and a house. We have everything that a married couple would have except we arent married.

    Well, I was talking to my partner the other day about getting married and he told me that it wont be special because we already have the kids and the house. I dont agree with him, and think that it would be special. I would love to share his and the kids last name and I would love to be able to call him my husband.

    What do you think? Is marriage still special after you have children, or do you agree with my partner and think it is just a piece of paper that wont change anything.

    Thanks in advance

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Posts
    2,187
    Thanks
    28
    Thanked
    36
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Hi

    I got married last month.

    He is the father of my baby, we have been living together for 4 years. Everything we own is each others - there is no His and Hers.

    Our marriage is very special.

    We have a sense of understanding that some couples don't have when they first get hitched.

    We have been through the best and the worst together.

    Marriage isn't everything these days but it was the final unity of our life together, the final unity of our little family.

    I know have the same last name as my son, I get to call my partner, my husband, and everytime I do I feel like the most special person in the whole entire world because he wanted me above all others.

    It is only a certificate separating you from where you are now to married life, but it's what that peice of paper represents that makes it special.

    Thats in my opinion anyway

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Posts
    1,714
    Thanks
    60
    Thanked
    89
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    DF and I are getting married in May 09 and we will have 2 children by then, DD#1 will be 23 months and DD#2 will be about 2ish months old and we still think its special! Pretty much for all the same reasons hailntwang already stated.

    I have found some people have said "oh its not a big deal,you two getting married because you have kids and stuff.." ,well maybe not to them but it is to us,weve been together almost 6 years and it means alot to us to finally be getting married,and if they dont think its 'special'..meh, dont come then!

    If its special to YOU..then its special.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    142
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    0
    Reviews
    0
    I agree that is the final unity that will make our family complete. I love my partner so much. I chased him for years before we started dating. I think the reason why I want him to marry me so badly is because I chased him, DS1 was unplanned (we had been together for 2 and a half years when he was born) and he only moved out with me because he had to (we only moved out a month before DS1 was born) despite me having wanted to move out for a very long time. DS2 was planned and I know my partner wants a girl. Why will he have more children with me but wont get married?

    My partner is awesome. He is a great father and helps me around the house so much. He treats me so well. We have been through so much and our relationship has survived it all. I feel like I shouldnt be so worried about getting married because he is just fantastic and I no that I want to be with him for the rest of my life. It just that I love him so much and have just grown up expecting to get married to the person I love.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Posts
    124
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    0
    Reviews
    0
    try not to get yourself to worried about it. This will sound strange but maybe he's just not ready to get/be married yet IYKWIM. My partner and I are finally getting married next year on our 10th anniversary. We went through thinking it was just a bit of paper why bother we are a family you can't get a bit of paper to tell you that, to why waste money on one day, to now going all out and showing everyone how far we have come (from having our ds at 18) and are having a huge wedding.
    So good luck and if i were you i wouldn't rush or push it, he obviuosly loves you so what more do you need?

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    2,217
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    1
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    i agree with what others have said- it s what is special to you.
    For me personally marriage wouldn't of been special if we lived together and had children but that was me- i made that choice and Dh abided by it and i tell you it was wonderful in my perspective my wedding night was extremly special- a first together for everything.
    For some thats not ideal- so i say horses for courses - and if you fel it's special then don't worry about others - i would speak to your boyfriend about it - i understand alot of blokes are like this

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    142
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    0
    Reviews
    0
    Thanks AlexnMillysMum. I hope I have a story like yours one day. I know he loves me, I would just love a wedding. I still feel a bit young to get married myself but I know that I want to do it one day. I just hope that he would like to get married one day as well.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    8,546
    Thanks
    919
    Thanked
    1,251
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    I think it's even more special. Isn't it funny how when we get married we make all these promises to one another and yet there is no similar ceremony where we can commit to being good parents.

    I think it would be lovely to include vows to your children in ther ceremony-celebrate your commitment to the family that you have created

  9. #9
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Posts
    124
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    0
    Reviews
    0
    mll - you can do a ceremony for your kids like that! It's like a naming ceremony and they are beautiful. we are including our kids in ours and saying something along the lines of as we we make our promises today to each other together we also promise to be there for our children and be understanding and and loving always and forever to them ..... . or something similar not sure yet

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    5,063
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    10
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    We got married in March this year, we've been friends of 8 years, together for almost 4.

    I have 2 children to my ex, he has a daughter to his ex and we have a baby together.

    They were all there on our wedding day, it truly was special to us. We did a sand pouring ceremony and had all the kids pour in a different coloured sand. It symbolised our blended family becoming one. I don't think there were many dry eyes around lol.


 

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 2
    Last Post: 14-09-2012, 22:31
  2. For those who work with special needs kids and babies..
    By allforthem in forum Pregnancy & Birth General Chat
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 23-07-2012, 10:59
  3. Teacher aid for special need kids
    By onelasttime in forum Working Hubbers - Employed
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 17-06-2012, 15:24

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

FEATURED SUPPORTER
Impressionable KidsImpressionable Kids are Australia's leader in framed children's memorabilia and specialise in framed baby hand and feet ...

ADVERTISEMENT