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  1. #1
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    Question Do you have abetter relationship with your children than you did with your own mother

    Hi everyone,

    I am writing a book on the journey of bonding between mothers and babies and would love some input from others mothers about the way they are parenting their children in comparison to their own experience of being parented.

    Do you consciously set out to parent your children differently from the way that you yourself were parented eg are you striving to be more available, more affectionate, stricter, less strict, kinder, less abusive....

    And if so, do you feel the quality of your relationship is different? As an example, I grew up in a family where there was no physical affection such as a hug or kiss and very little encouragement. I consciously chose to parent differently and as a result my kids are very cuddly and get constant praise. This has caused my own mother to reflect on how difficult this was for her and how different she sees me parent. There are times however, especially under stress , I find myself reverting to a more primitive part of me and I sound just like my mother!

    I would love your stories (either here or by pm) and if you are happy for me to use them directly ( eg sourced as a quote from you with either your first name or username) that would be great. Please pm me or put a note at the bottom if you are not happy for me to use them. I'd still love to hear your thoughts!

    Many many thanks

    Leisa

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    My DS is only 7 months old, Both my dh & I are determined to have a better relationship with our children then we did with our parents.
    I am going to strive to be their friend, someone they can turn to and someone they can trust.
    I know this doesn't help with your story but just made me feel better writing it.

  3. #3
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    Grace3 is offline I eat green grass and I give white milk, I'm a ?
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    God yes!

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    No, your story does help! even a few lines of someone sharing their commitment to parent differently, better, in a more loving way is helpful for me... thanks for posting so quickly!


    Leisa

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    Sometimes, parents are very good at teaching us how NOT to parent LOL.

    Definately yes, I parent different from my mother and father. I love them dearly, but they have always made it clear, that THEIR relationship comes before us and its been made very clear on many occasions.

    My children do understand the concept of unconditional love, of spiritual awareness, of compassion, of love and understanding, tolerance and deversity.

    My younger children know I always have time for a cuddle and kiss...that I will listen to them no matter what the situation. My adult children know I will stand by them, but their life is their own. Their decisions are theirs to stand by, and I wont be held accountable if they choose the wrong path, for who am I to say it was wrong? It was theirs, so it was the right one, for whatever reason.

    I guide, but I do not dictate. I do not hit, but talk things through.

    So ABSOLUTELY, I parent differently , THANK GOD.
    Last edited by moonblossom; 31-10-2008 at 10:23. Reason: typo

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    SuperGranny is offline Worlds best grandma! Winner 2012 - Most Helpful Member
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    hi, i want to start by saying i had a wonderful relationship with my mother. We were very close, and always very affectionate. would never leave each other without a kiss gooodbye. and mum liked to start the day with a kiss hello. so we wouldnt fight, that is a joke because we never fought. I got married young, and moved out from home, and as life goes on, we didnt spend as much time with my mum, but what time we had was always good. When i became a mum, she was always supportive, sometimes overly so, but never in a bad interferring way. My kids thought she was funny, im not sure if they meant odd?? or humourous but they could always see how much I loved her. I think I have been raising my children along the same pattern. always love, sometimes discipline, always advice, not always listened to, always support. you are welcome to use this, and my signature gives you more details. Ps, my mum passed away 16 years ago, and I still miss her everyday. Marie.

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    Yes. Definitely, yes.

    I am very affectionate with my own children, probably because my mother (and father) were not very affectionate at all.
    I take the time to listen to them (even though they are only toddlers) because I personally felt like I was not listened to or considered regarding decisions in my life.

    I am taking a very different approach with their education than my own parent did and will (and already do) show my children respect and appreciation.

    I don't know if there is anything there you would want to use, PM me to talk about it further if you would.

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    I chose to be just like my mother when it comes to parenting (although unlike my mum, I'm not a single SAHM). I had and still have the BEST relationship with mum; she is my best friend, my confidant, my rock and my biggest supporter. She was also my guiding light when things got rough and when I had lost my way.

    She taught me to view the glass as half full and she taught me the value of an honest dollar and to follow your dreams!

    She was fair in all her dealings with me and allowed me a disciplined but not controlled path to self-discovery.

    I love her to bits, admire her and respect her....I would love nothign more than to have that relationship with my daughter (soon to be daughters)...

    BTW - my relationship with mum is so good that we've just bought a house together! Mum gets the bedroom downstairs while DH, me & our kids are upstairs!

    If you want to know more - please ask.

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    Quote Originally Posted by floodprincess View Post
    I chose to be just like my mother when it comes to parenting (although unlike my mum, I'm not a single SAHM). I had and still have the BEST relationship with mum; she is my best friend, my confidant, my rock and my biggest supporter. She was also my guiding light when things got rough and when I had lost my way.
    THIS is what I am striving for with my children.

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    I hope it works for you Nibble; I really do....


 

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