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  1. #1
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    Default IVF'ers with Children already..Chat here!

    Well by looking at everyone's signatures I am pretty new to IVF. Prompted by another Hubber I thought I'd set upa chat area for those of us with Children, either through IVF or naturally here.

    Rather than introduce myself I thought I'd give some background, Here is my story:

    My DH and I got married in 2003. We had been together for quite a few years and decided that if we were going to have kids then let’s get married. So we did! I did all the right things, took folate and was not stressed about conceiving whatsoever!

    After 6 months, I started to get a little concerned and then one of my girlfriends fell pregnant 4 months before her wedding and came to me saying the baby was going to ruin her plans. After that I started to stress. Here was a really good friend of mine distraught she was having a baby and was going to be a "fat, pregnant bride who couldn't drink" and I was just wanting to be in that situation. I cried and cried. I started to worry that they hadn't even been trying and fell and DH and I had been extremely busy in the bedroom.

    I began to become obsessed and then DH and I had a big fight, missed an ovulation and I was so dirty at him! Then I decided it was all too much. Here we were in our first year of marriage and it wasn't looking good. We were at each other’s throats over having too much sex, or 'just to have a baby' sex. So I just got over the baby thing. The next month went past then 9 months after we had started to try I missed a period. I got a negative on a HPT so 2 weeks late I went to the Dr. Yep I had conceived My Beautiful Daughter.

    She arrived into the world quietly and so serenely and has been a blissful baby/child since. She is a beautifully natured child and I have been told that she is stunning (I can't tell as I am totally biased). So why wouldn't I want another? So we started to try when she was 20 months old. I wanted a nice gap so I could enjoy my kids but I didn't realise how much of a gap I'd get .

    I had never gone back on the pill since conceiving DD so I thought it wouldn't take too long and learnt my lesson from last time and was relaxed. We decided not to 'try' but let nature happen. We went on a few holidays and nada. So when I was at the Dr's having a pap smear I mentioned we were trying to have another baby. My GP used to be a gyno/ob so she asked a few questions and said....um I think I'll send you for some tests as I think you should have conceived by now. I was shocked!

    My tests came back ok and when DH went to his GP for some routine stuff he was referred for a sperm collection. Yep, came back as high number of dodgy boys in his sample. Again I cried and cried. I knew what I was in for as my bestie had been doing IVF for 4 years.

    Off we went to the FS early this year. Started me on clomid and my ovaries cranked out the follies. So he ditched that plan after 3 cycles and then we went directly onto ICSI. My egg collection resulted in 4 viable follies and 2 made it to day 2. I was devastated. Again I cried.

    Transfer a few days later resulted in identical twins. But I miscarried one before my first scan and then second cherub followed at 9/10 weeks. I cried my eyes out but quickly reflected that many women who conceive naturally miscarry. One embie left on ice and I am in my 2nd week of the 2WW.

    I am not sure what to do if we fail. I HATE dragging DD along to all my blood tests (all the women waiting look so forlorn and lost it breaks my heart!) They look yearningly at DD and it is almost like she is a beacon of hope to them that IVF can work. I would hate to know what they were thinking if they knew she was conceived the old fashioned way and I too have my concerns about my success on IVF .

    I hate waking her at 5 in the morning to drop her off when I have early bloods required or a transfer etc. She has spent a lot of time at her grandparents when we have had procedures.

    But I soooo want another baby. She is a gorgeous, funny, happy soul. Why wouldn't I be yearning for another one just like her or totally different from her?

    My cupboards are full to overflowing with baby clothes, bassinettes, rockers, baths and other paraphernalia in the hopes we will be blessed with another baby. It is a constant reminder of the sibling we can't give DD.

    The money is a factor although I wish it wasn't. Get a period that is worth approximately $1000 makes it a bitter pill to swallow. Then trying to scrimp everywhere else just in case we have to go again drives me insane.

    Living my life through a calendar gets bit obsessive compulsive and boring. Not booking holidays in case we might have to see the FS again it just annoying.

    Then there are the comments that I should be happy with my beautiful child as my bestie lost her IVF baby as 18 weeks. I mourned her baby too. It hurt me to see her hurt. And yes I know I should thank my lucky stars that I have one and she has none but can't I want for another baby of my own? Is that such a bad thing?

    Sometimes I find it hard in the other threads as some of the ladies have endured soooo much and yep there in my signature is my DD birthdate. I feel a little out of place sometimes. I can only imagine how each cycle is for them as I get a world full of giggles to lift my spirits when I am feeling particularly down. I feel out of place with my stressful comments during my 2WW. I am scared I will hurt some of these wonderful ladies; do I have a right to complain, even a little?

    My heartbreaks knowing some of the women here in the Hub have been through so much, I thought it might be more respectful to discuss things regard our challenges with IVF given we already have kids. I have the utmost respect for some of the women here and by no means want to offend!

    Let me know how you are travelling, especially if you have little ones too.....

    Saraxxxx

  2. #2
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    Hi there I have to log off but wanted to say dont feel bad at all. I have one son to Ivf and had a failed transfer this year and hope to try again in the new year. Its a rough road for us all.

    I will be back to chat later on.

  3. #3
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    Chub- Amum started a opic on this this morning..it's a little further down the page or maybe on page 2. Maybe cut and paste your reply to that?

  4. #4
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    DOH!!!!!! Missed it obviously. Can a mod please close this. After I have a chance to cut and paste. TA


 

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