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  1. #11
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    just bumping this up for you

  2. #12
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    I went to the site posted by the original duchess and found this information:

    Difficulty with Social Relationships


    People with Asperger's Syndrome try hard to be sociable and do not dislike human contact. However, they still find it difficult to understand social etiquette and non-verbal signals, including facial expressions.

    Difficulty with Communication


    Language development in a child may be delayed. Conversely they may speak fluently but may not notice the reaction of people listening to them or they may appear insensitive to the listener’s feelings. Despite good verbal skills they may sound over-precise or may interpret words too literally, e.g., "Hop Into Bed", "Raining Cats and Dogs".

    Lack of Social Imaginative Play


    Most children enjoy games where they pretend to be different characters such as Doctors and Nurses. Asperger's Syndrome children hardly ever play like this preferring repetitive actions on their own. For example they may enjoy arranging objects in lines or patterns.

    Motor Clumsiness



    They often appear clumsy and have poor coordination e.g., poor ball skills.

    Sensory Sensitivity


    Asperger's Syndrome people may have an exaggerated response to sensory stimuli and all five senses are affected. They may also have a high tolerance of pain.

    Special Interests and Routines


    Many people with Asperger's Syndrome may develop an obsessive interest in a hobby. They may memorise facts on a specific topic e.g., bus and train timetables. However, with encouragement, interests can be developed to suit study subjects and employment.

    Asperger's people also prefer routine and structure in their lives. They can be very disturbed by changes in their daily routine, e.g., like a new bus timetable, or using a different route to school.

    The Importance of Early Diagnosis


    The future of people with Asperger's Syndrome is improving, especially where there is appropriate early intervention, practical and emotional support and understanding.

    Vulnerability


    People with Asperger's Syndrome are more vulnerable to teasing and bullying which causes them to react in a socially inappropriate manner. As adults they are more prone to exploitation and are often considered eccentric or peculiar.

    Other Common Features


    Difficulty seeing the consequences of their actions, or putting things into context. This seems to be linked to the fact that individuals with Asperger's Syndrome can be particularly good at focusing on detail. Seeing ‘the bigger picture’ requires flexible, hypothetical thinking, and often an understanding of how people affect and influence each other. People with Asperger's Syndrome have great difficulty thinking in this manner.

    Planning/Time Management again requires the ability to think hypothetically and predict consequences.

    People with Asperger's Syndrome often have a normal or high IQ and so are able to articulate how their disability affects them. A comparison often used by them is that of feeling like they are from another planet – feeling alien to the culture of the society in which they live, because so many important rules are meaningless to them.

    It should be noted that all of these so-called ‘Asperger's traits’ are generalisations: people with the condition vary enormously, and because individuals become so adept at concealing or overcoming their problems, some traits will not be apparent, others will be non-existent.


    The effects of Asperger's Syndrome can be devastating – without the natural ability and tendency to conform and be accepted, individuals can find themselves unable to get employment, friends, or relationships. They can find themselves isolated and struggling to cope with the confusion and stress they experience with even the simplest day-to-day activities, such as deciding what to wear or getting on a bus.

    With the right support and a tolerant environment, Asperger's Syndrome is not a life sentence, but rather a different outlook on the world, which can prove both refreshing and valuable. Honesty, reliability, dedication, determination; all these are traits that are associated with the condition.

    Many people show an aptitude in scientific, technical, computer or mathematical subjects, because of their logical and factual nature. Moreover, Asperger's Syndrome has been described as a form of genius, because the tendency for individuals to develop and nurture their ‘special interests’ can result in great achievement.


    If you suspect that you or someone close to you may have the condition, bear this in mind: many of their difficulties are caused by lack of understanding. Once they, and those around them, understand the condition and its effects, support and help can be provided. The person can then concentrate on controlling the negative aspects of the condition and making the most of the positive, and this is why a diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome is good news for many people.


    http://www.asperger.asn.au/Aspergers+Syndrome.html

  3. #13
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    I went to autismspeaks.org and found this:

    Watch for the Red Flags of Autism

    (The following red flags may indicate a child is at risk for atypical development, and is in need of an immediate evaluation.)

    In clinical terms, there are a few “absolute indicators,” often referred to as “red flags,” that indicate that a child should be evaluated. For a parent, these are the “red flags” that your child should be screened to ensure that he/she is on the right developmental path. If your baby shows any of these signs, please ask your pediatrician or family practitioner for an immediate evaluation:

    No big smiles or other warm, joyful expressions by six months or thereafter
    No back-and-forth sharing of sounds, smiles, or other facial expressions by nine months or thereafter
    No babbling by 12 months
    No back-and-forth gestures, such as pointing, showing, reaching, or waving by 12 months
    No words by 16 months
    No two-word meaningful phrases (without imitating or repeating) by 24 months
    Any loss of speech or babbling or social skills at any age
    *This information has been provided by First Signs, Inc. 2001-2005. Reprinted with permission. For more information about recognizing the early signs of developmental and behavioral disorders, please visit http://www.firstsigns.org or the Centers for Disease Control at www.cdc.gov/actearly.
    ETA: only posted that becaus eI remember you saying Matilda often seems to 'lose' words after a while.

    Honestly, It may turn out to be just really bad terrible 2's behaviour but for your (and her) sanity you need to get it checked out hun let me know if there is anything I can do!
    Last edited by Kizmet; 26-06-2008 at 11:42.

  4. #14
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    Have you tried cutting out certain food additives and preservatives? DD was never as bad with tantrums as your daughter sounds, but I did see a huge improvement in her behaviour when I cut out the bread preservatives - 202 & 282 I think they are.

  5. #15
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    .
    I would get things checked out if you think something is not quite normal, a mother's intuition knows best.

    My DS used to have them, they started at 18 months and they happened rarely, but up until 6 months ago he still had them; maybe had them five times in his life. It's very draining, luckily we're past that stage and I try to teach him coping techniques with his emotions.

    Discipling them for this behaviour will probably not get you anywhere. The child is already hurting, although I know it can get REALLY frustrating. What I used to do was tell him that I was, and that when he could calm down and he needed a hug, to come hug me. I made sure we was safe, and I'd sit nearby, but I wouldn't come to him until he came to me or else he would put up a horrendous fight. I would try to calm him down with words now and again, saying shh, I'm here, come here when you're reading. We had one go for half an hour where he was just screaming, I felt like bursting into tears too. I know exactly how you feel. I don't know if my approach would work in your case, but it worked in mine.

    I had a similar problem when I was younger though, and I remember how frightening it was when you lost control of the ability to process thoughts and all your emotions, so it was easy for me to realise I shouldn't get angry at DS for doing it.

    But definately get it checked out if you think something is up, trust your intuition.
    Last edited by Teley; 26-06-2008 at 11:56.

  6. #16
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    I hope you can get this sorted out, because the worst thing is not knowing if something is wrong!!!

    I just wanted to add that when my cousin was about Matilda's age she behaved in a similar fashion. Sometimes you could tell what set her off - eg being left with a babysitter (it got to the point her parents could not leave her), being in a strange environment, being overtired or hungry, getting frustrated... but sometimes you jst couldn't work out why she was upset.

    Working out why she was upset didn't do much anyway, because once she started nothing would stop her. She would scream for 60 minutes + , until she was exhausted... and frequently made herself sick. She also bashed things and if you tried to contain her she would hurt herself by bashing her head against the cot rails or a door.

    My aunty & uncle were absolutely despairing, they tried everything and took her to specialists etc. They established she was a very highly strung child, it didnt help that she was a first and only child and her parents were so stressed out by her behaviour.

    She is 8 years old now and completely outgrew this. she is a 100% normal child and is actually very well behaved and mild! She also has some food allergies and her behaviour *could* have been partly from this but we're not sure.

    Obviosuly it depends 10000% on the child and Matilda could be different, but I wanted to share this story because my cousins behaviour was absolutely intense (I have never seen a child behaving like she did and it was not her parents fault at all)

  7. #17
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    I've experienced many episodes exactly as you described - set off by nothing, where she acts like some out of control screaming banchee, where NOTHING can be used to comfort her... then all of a sudden, she'll settle down and you'll be like, "Errr...wtf just happened?"

    It can go on for a good half hour or more, and there's nothing I can do to stop it.

    I know I'm not the only one who's had a toddler do this either, so I mean... maybe it IS just normal?

    I don't know any of the other things you've said about her in the past though, but going on that uber-tantrum thing, I'd say it's just... normal.

  8. #18
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    Been there. Kid one was fantastic, even tempered, threw tantrums but you could usually work out why and follow strategies that solved the problem. We were pretty great parents and knew it. Kid 2 - not so much. Went through a three month period when the only way you could get her in the shower was jump on her from behind with a towel, wrap her in it and both get under the water while she screamed like a banshee and struggled for every single second, every single time. We ended up videoing showers because we needed to be able to explain the bruises. Three months later it was bedtime, then getting dressed. Never a problem at day care, always with us at home. Testing, child psych, you name it all came back negative. Eventually our very experienced GP convinced us that it was a "phase" and if we kept trying to medicalize it eventually we would generate labels that would stick. Three years on and entirely convinced that he was right. She is still a right little Madam, when she puts her mind to it but no worse than many others. By all means get the obvious medical possibilities checked, but if it all looks OK it really is time just to take the longer view and realize that this too, will pass. Vodka helps, too.

  9. #19
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    Default This just isnt normal behaviour!!

    Quote Originally Posted by djb3500 View Post
    Been there. Kid one was fantastic, even tempered, threw tantrums but you could usually work out why and follow strategies that solved the problem. We were pretty great parents and knew it. Kid 2 - not so much. Went through a three month period when the only way you could get her in the shower was jump on her from behind with a towel, wrap her in it and both get under the water while she screamed like a banshee and struggled for every single second, every single time. We ended up videoing showers because we needed to be able to explain the bruises. Three months later it was bedtime, then getting dressed. Never a problem at day care, always with us at home. Testing, child psych, you name it all came back negative. Eventually our very experienced GP convinced us that it was a "phase" and if we kept trying to medicalize it eventually we would generate labels that would stick. Three years on and entirely convinced that he was right. She is still a right little Madam, when she puts her mind to it but no worse than many others. By all means get the obvious medical possibilities checked, but if it all looks OK it really is time just to take the longer view and realize that this too, will pass. Vodka helps, too.
    I would safely say it has passed this kid would be 14 years old by now old thread!

  10. #20
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    Closing now, very old thread.

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