+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 5 123 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 44
  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Posts
    778
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    0
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Question Miscarriage @ 19 weeks

    We lost our little girl at 19 weeks and were relieved it was finally over but I feel guilty for this relief as everyone else around us is feeling sorry for us.

    I started bleeding at 9 weeks and spent the next 10 weeks freaking out about our baby. I was in hospital for 3 days after a very heavy bleed 2 weeks ago, was sent home with a little hope and ended up back in hospital a few days later.

    The doctor said I would not be leaving the hospital this time with out a resolution. I had lost all the fluid and was bleeding heavily with very large clots so my husband I were as prepared for the worst and one can be. I finally went into labour last Sunday and that was that. We both felt sad at the loss of our baby but we both feel so lucky to have our gorgeous 2 year old daughter (turned 2 last week). Plus I feel lucky to be alive. It was a very stressful situation and a lot more went on than I can write at the moment.

    Is there anyone else out there that has been through a similar experience?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Posts
    190
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    1
    Reviews
    0
    Hi Kirstlea,

    I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my baby 2 weeks and 2 days ago. I was 7 weeks and 4 days pregnant, we went for a scan and there was no heartbeat. So I had to have a D & C. Even though I wasn't as far along as you I believe the pain is just the same.

    It's horrible you had to wait so long for it to happen. All I can suggest Is that as I am finding out you have your good days and your bad days and only time will heal. Spend lots of time with the people you love, inluding your child you have and get plenty of rest.

    Feel free to chat to me anytime if you want. I found it helpful to chat to people who had experienced what you have been through.

    Sending lots of hugs and good wishes your way

    Pippa

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Posts
    20,685
    Thanks
    925
    Thanked
    740
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts

    Default Don't feel guilty

    Hi
    I have not been through your experience but can understand that the 10 weeks of stress must have been extremely hard to deal with. I totally understand that you are relieved - please don't feel guilty about it. You have had a while to accept that the likely outcome would be sad and have had a bit of time to deal with it. The uncertainty and waiting must have seemed unbearable.

    Don't feel guilty that those around you are feeling really sympathetic right now, while you are starting to feel a little better - they didn't have to live those 10 weeks with you and may have thought the outcome would be happier (as they wouldn't have been constantly reminded of the seriousness of the situation as you). They didn't need to accept the likely outcome as early as you did. So accept their condolances now and don't feel badly that you are now starting to heal. They couldn't be with you in that darkest hour, but they are there for you now and that's what is important.

    I hope this makes you feel a bit better. Look after yourself now and give that big sister a big hug from her Mum.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Posts
    778
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    0
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Thumbs up Samantha & Pippa

    Thank you for your relplies. It does help to talk about it. I have a very strong mothers group who are all very interested in my story and how I am, so they let me talk about it and ask questions which is great.

    I have found it hard to talk about anything else even though I want life to return to normal.

    My 2 year old was sick last night, couldn't keep anything down and is still a bit dodgey today. It made me very emotional and feel a little silly that I started crying because I felt so helpless. I know that must be because of losing Morgan only a week ago today.

    Paige has been a lot sicker before but I certainly haven't cried about it. I am generally a very strong person and guess as I have no control over hormones etc I should expect to lose the plot a little.

    Because I laboured and gave birth to Morgan all the usual hormones are released as if I had a full term baby. If I wasn't so prepared for it I would have been totally shocked to learn I could lactate etc.

    A sad thing for me is that I lay in bed at night feeling my tummy, waiting for those kicks that I started feeling at about 17 weeks. I miss that and know its probably a bit weird to say it but It seems to be the only thing that I can't let go of yet.

    Anyway, thank you again for your kind words.

    Kirsten

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Posts
    8,961
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    8
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    kirsten i am so sorry for your loss, reading about you waiting to feel the kicks and about producing milk made my heart ache for you, im glad you have support and people who allow you to feel comftable to talk about morgan as much as you need to, blessing to you and your husband and paige

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Posts
    145
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    0
    Reviews
    0
    Hi Kirstlea,

    I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I miscarried at 12 weeks exactally. I also had a D&C and my heart goes out to anyone who has been there or has helped out a friend or family member who has had one. It is awful.

    No one can expect you to just get over it. You will only get over it in your own time and in your own way. It has been 18 months now since my miscarriage and althought I have gotten over most of it I still have days where I just lose it. I know with me I still hold onto my pregnancy because I have no children and now no partner to try again.

    My heart and best wishes are with you. Please feel free to send me a private message if you would like to talk. I will always listen however short or long your message is.

    Kiara

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Posts
    2
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    0
    Reviews
    0
    Hi Kristlea,

    Sorry to hear about your loss, I am currently 8-9 weeks pregnant and things are not looking very good for our pregnancy, I have started bleeding and have had an ultrasound which showed the baby is 6 weeks 3 days which is not good considering I was meant to be 8 weeks and I know my dates are correct. I know the weekend that I conceived.

    I have only been bleeding since Monday but I too feel that I wish my body would either start the miscarriage or stop bleeding and be okay. Being in this limbo state of not knowing what is happening is very difficult.

    I cant imagine being in the state for 10 weeks and totally can understand the desire to have some finallity to the situation and know where you are at.

    At the moment I am just waiting everyday for either the bleeding to get worse or stop. I cant work or excercise or do what I normally do. I have been talking to some other people about their miscarriages to find out what there symptoms and how it has happened for them it seems similar to what is going on with me. Friends are saying to be positive but I dont feel very positive about it all.

    Whatever you feel today is okay, I dont think there is any right or wrong way to grieve. Some days you are going to feel relief and others you will probably feel grief but whatever happens you will be okay and get through it.

    Michelle

  8. #8
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Posts
    778
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    0
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default Michelle

    Dear Michelle

    My heart goes out to you. I knew something was wrong with my pregnancy from about 9 weeks but didn't realise how wrong until about 16 weeks.

    My only advice to you is ask as many questions as you can think of and prepare yourself for whatever the out come. It does make it easier to deal with if the outcome is sad.

    On the positive side there is a high percentage of women who bleed throughout their pregnancys and still have beautiful babies at the end of it all. We hung on to that hope otherwise we would have fallen apart.

    As hard as it is to not fret, try to hope for the best. I have always been an optimistic person and still am, life dishes out some hard things but it makes us all the stronger and also helps us to realise how lucky we are to have what we have around us.

    Goodluck and I hope all goes well. Please let me know how you get on.

    Regards Kirsten

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Posts
    377
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    2
    Reviews
    0
    Kirstlea, it's still very early days yet, try and let the emotions happen as they come. It's too hard to try and control it, and you need to grieve. Just grieve and try not to question your feelings.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Posts
    2
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    0
    Reviews
    0

    Default Miscarriage

    Hi Kirsten,

    Thanks for your response. How are you doing this week?

    I had a blood test last thursday which showed my hcg levels going down, the doctor told me this was not good news. She said that if nothing had happened over the weekend I would have another ultra-sound the following week to see what was going on. The brownish discharge I was having was getting worse but still not that bad.

    On saturday afternnoon I started to bleed heavy and immediately knew I was miscarrying. Over the weekend I was alittle upset but not as much as I thought I would be, but then on Monday I had such a flat day and felt like crying for most of it. On tuesday I went back to work and I think this has helped although I am not getting much work done.

    I feel okay, flat is the best word to describe it and I know it takes time to get over these things and I know that sometimes I will feel okay and to sometimes I will not feel okay. I was really looking forward to having another baby but I guess we will have to try again.

    Lets us know how you are going.

    Take Care
    Michelle


 

Similar Threads

  1. Your miscarriage at 6 weeks?
    By Kazza78 in forum Pregnancy Loss Support
    Replies: 46
    Last Post: 17-08-2012, 11:58
  2. Chance of miscarriage 9 weeks?
    By katezane in forum Pregnancy & Birth General Chat
    Replies: 21
    Last Post: 31-05-2012, 08:20
  3. Miscarriage rate after 7 weeks
    By carleena in forum Pregnancy & Birth General Chat
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 23-05-2012, 14:43

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

FEATURED SUPPORTER
TPS Health PhysiotherapyTPS Health has four clinics located at Morningside, Cleveland, Victoria Point and Lutwyche. We offer pre/post natal ...
FORUMS - chatting now ...

ADVERTISEMENT