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  1. #1
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    Default HELP - constantly restless

    I have a 9 week old and he has used a dummy since he was a few days old. Lately he has been really unsettled. He does not constantly scream but just won't sleep for very long night or day. He constantly wakes up wanting the dummy back in. At night he goes longer between feeds now (around 6/7hrs first off and then 4 hrs) but he will sleep for an hour or so and then have an hour where he wakes every 5-15min wanting the dummy back. I am so tired because even though he has a bigger gap between feeds I am still constantly having broken sleep and he just won't settle. Does this get any better!? He is only 9 weeks so I don't want to just let him cry and see if he puts himself to sleep (as tempting as it is at times!) but the sleepless nights are starting to take a toll. I am also not getting anything done during the day and don't have anyone I could ask for help. He gets really bad wind and reflux so he loves to suck and I know he would just scream without it. I guess it is probably a no win situation! There probably isn't much I can do at the moment but I guess it is just nice to hear from other mums who have gone through the same thing.

    Chantell

  2. #2
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    Default It DOES get better

    Every bub goes through grumpy and unsettled phases from time to time. It may be related to feeling slightly ill or a cold, or new teeth, or growing, or hungrier days than usual, or... or... But it does generally get better as they get older.

    I also relied on a dummy to soothe Chloe especially after I quit breastfeeding. There were many nights I regretted it and wanted to throw it out and just make her go cold turkey but she refused to suck her fist. Until he gets big enough to find the lost dummy and put it back I'm afraid you're stuck with doing it for him. But, it may help to sleep in the same room as him so at least you're not going so far, or make up a bed for him right next to yours (either a bassinette or a travel cot) so you don't even have to get up. Its amazing how skilled you can get at finding a dummy and bub's mouth while half asleep. I did co-sleep for awhile which helps both bub and mum sleep better, but there are risks which I'm sure you're aware of. I stopped co sleeping when Chloe started squirming around and changing her position next to me.

    There are also gentler variations to full on controlled crying that you might want to consider. Or check the BubHub Info Directory on sleep and settling - there are some tips on how to prepare bub to sleep that might reduce his reliance on the dummy.

  3. #3
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    Default Dummy too much trouble?

    Hi Chantell
    With DD1 we found the dummy to be more trouble than it was worth. She would also wake every time it came out. I'd read Baby Whisperer who had said that most babies will let the dummy drop when they fall asleep and not let it wake them up. DD1 was not like this and at about 3 months we decided that the dummy would go. Once we took it away, she did sleep better, only waking for feeds. The downside was that it did take her longer to fall asleep, and she wouldn't easily go to sleep on her own until she was about 1. We never used controlled crying, we just kept going in to "settle" her without picking her up. When it started to work, it was like a switch, all of a sudden she was happy to go to sleep on her own (so your persistence will pay off eventually).

    Just to prove they are all different, DD2 loves her dummy, it was never a problem (yes she did wake once or twice for it at night for a while - but never woke BECAUSE it had fallen out - which is the important thing).

    I've never had a reflux baby so can't speak about his need to suck, but you might like to give no dummy a try.

    Cheers

  4. #4
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    Hi Chantell,
    Just thought I would tell you about something you can buy over the counter at the chemist, it's called "infants friend".
    One of my freinds put us onto it with our 2nd child because he had bad win, and it worked great. It's not only for wind but a lot of other stuff as well. I will be making sure I have some in the cupboard when I have another bub.

    Let us know how you go.

  5. #5
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    Hello Chantell,

    I had a similar situation with my son who is now 4 months. From about 10 or 11 weeks, he started sleeping through from 10pm to 6am. He eventually found his fingers and started sucking on them to help settle himself back to sleep. I still use his dummy though to settle him at the start of his sleep. That said, he has been a bit unsettled the past week and has woken during the night a couple of times, but that could be due to other things like teething etc. although he does settle down as soon as I put his dummy back in.

    During the day however he is extremely unsettled and sleeps only for 30 - 45 minute stretches, and he doesn't seem to settle himself back down after one sleep cycle. By this time he's usually too awake for me to settle him back down, so I get him up, but then he is cranky and tired again half an hour later, so I have to put him down for another nap.

    It's a very frustrating cycle and it makes for a cranky baby (and mum!) by the end of the day. I just keep telling myself that they will eventually grow out of it, and the next day is a new day and might be a bit better!

    I can appreciate you not wanting to let him "cry it out". I find that if I leave Aiden to cry, it just gets louder and more desparate sounding, he gets himself so worked up and makes that job of settling him 10X harder than if I just picked him up in the first place and gave him a cuddle!

  6. #6
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    Default my unsettled solution

    hi chantell,
    Im not sure if you are allready doing this but the best settling soultion a found was to wrap both my girls. They feel safe & warm it worked wonders for me my 4 month old still gets wraped to sleep, i find if she hasnt been wraped all day ( if were out & about) she will be really grumpy but after wraping her and putting her to bed she wakes up so much better. I love my wraping and would recomend it to anyone.

  7. #7
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    Default It does get better

    Hi Chantelle

    My daughter was the same from about 3 weeks. She would only sleep for half an hour at a time during the day and only for 3 hours at a time during the night. She also suffered colic. We tried everything from infants friend to whatever was on the market and realised we were only compounding the problem.

    Paige used a dummy for about 2 months and then realised she has a thumb. That was a blessing no longer did we have to give her back her dummy and even though she still sucks her thumb it is only when she is tired or hungry or something hurts. (like teeth)

    I can only say stick it out for a few more weeks, they usually settle by about 12 weeks and no one baby is the same and no parent is the same. Do what you feel is right in your heart and don't let anyone tell you different.

    I spent to many days and nights worrying if I was doing the right thing.

    Good luck

    Kirsten

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    Default Thanks

    Thanks for all your help and ideas. At the moment we are still giving him the dummy until the colic settles a bit. Easier to put a dummy in for him to go back to sleep then to have to spend an hour trying to calm him because I know it is just because of the pain he likes to suck. We went to the specialist today because he started losing weight and she put him on Zantac for his reflux. We found that Brauer Colic Relief seems to work. Hopefully things will start to improve.

    Chantell


 

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