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  1. #1
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    Default Anyone been in a similar situation????

    Hi girls - didn't know where was most suitable to post this...so I thought i'd start here....

    well since I have known hubby he has always been adamant about having just 2 children - me on the other hand - never really knew however since having my second baby - I have decided that yes I would like just 1 more (and I mean just ONE more haha)...anyway, as we do (well maybe its just me) I have become a little obsessed about it and the topic of a third baby seems to pop out every so often which I also can see must be annoying haha...anyway after having a couple of really long - exhausting spill out everything conversations and lots of tears - hubby told me the other day that we can have another baby in a year or two (thinking about TTC end of 2009)...I of course am all excited and I know hubby is happy that I am happy etc....he realises that my want for another one is a lot greater than his want to not have another one....anyway...my question is...has anyone been in this similar situation and how did you feel about it??? On one hand I am over the moon but on the other hand - I am worried that he is just saying/doing it to make me happy and therefore will hold it against me or not enjoy the baby in the future....I have discussed it with him and he is adamant that he will love the baby just as much as he does our others and that he is happy to go through with it but I just wonder If we will be doing the right thing...I feel in my heart that he WILL love this baby and that he really does want another one he is just one of those people who thinks logically (about finances etc) whereas I think more with my heart...how would you girls feel??? Would you accept that he is happy with having another baby and go through with it or would you be concerned that he has just changed his mind because of your wanting a baby so much?

  2. #2
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    My hubby didn't want any kids!
    I can gurantee you that even if we had 10 he would love the 10th as much as the 1st.
    I would definitely accept that he is happy.

  3. #3
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    Default Go for it

    I happened to watch Dr Phil today and the topic was almost exactly the situation your in, with the women wanting another (or just one) in their heart and souls and the men thinking more about the financial/practical side. And he said go for it, Daddy will love the baby for sure and if you don't mummy will always have that hole for the baby that wasn't.

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    Excellent!!! Thats what I am thinking....when hubby came home this arvo I asked again if he is sure that he wants to and he said yes - he isn't really into the "baby" thing but he loves watching them grow and enjoys being around our kids...I guess thats a general guy thing though...

    newmummy - I watched Dr Phil today too...lol...thats why this has been brought up again - I thought we had settled it but the show got me thinking again lol....

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    Quote Originally Posted by newmummy0507 View Post
    I happened to watch Dr Phil today and the topic was almost exactly the situation your in, with the women wanting another (or just one) in their heart and souls and the men thinking more about the financial/practical side. And he said go for it, Daddy will love the baby for sure and if you don't mummy will always have that hole for the baby that wasn't.

    I seen that same episode today and i agree'd with what you have said was very interesting episode actually hehe

  6. #6
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    Hi. I am also in the same situation as you. Sometimes I feel like the kids are my responsibility to look after on my own because I wanted kids. (my dh works alot and is exhausted if he is at home).I have had conversations about this with my dh and he said it isn't like that. I know he has mentioned that he wants to "retire oneday", so he is obviously thinking about finances too. I am sure it is ok to go ahead, they will grow to love the baby just the same as the others.

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    I only have one, and am undecided about how many I want, but I definitely don't want more than 3 (unless I somehow have twins or something).

    Anyway, I want another. Now.

    I think with my heart too... DP thinks about the practicality of it all. How much things will cost, etc etc. Annoys me to no end, because I just want him to agree!

    Well, he has agreed - to TTC after he finishes his apprenticeship... so roughly 2 years away.

    Sometimes I worry he's just agreeing to make me shut up, and that he'll change his mind when that time comes.

    It's not the same worries you have, but yeah... thought I'd share.

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    So to answer your question I would accept that he is happy with having another baby especially since he knows exactly what he is getting himself into.

    DH and I had a similar conversation on the weekend after he complained of having no time to himself and I was like well that is because you work too much not because of us, don't work so much. But then I started to stress as we are planning to start trying for the next one in a few months and I was wondering if he had changed his mind. He said no he is happy to try for another one the only thing he is worried about is having enough contact time with the kids. I reminded him that new babies are so dependent on their mums for those first few months he would get heaps of time to comfort the screaming bundle while I was trying to get some time to myself!

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    I would except it.
    My situation is similar I told DF that i had a need for another child and he said no cause of $$$ then agreed to TTC in 09 but i swayed him by saying the longer we leave it the older he will be (he is 30 this year) and he didn't want kids after 31 so he agreed now was ok.

    He was iffy to start with but now that we are trying he gets all clucky when he sees newborn babys.

    So i say go for it and good luck with trying to wait the 2 yrs (you could always use my excuss)

  10. #10
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    Boy do I know what your talking about!! 4 months after our 2nd DS was born my DH went and had the snip and I really really want a 3rd baby. Our youngest is now 16 months and my DH has said that yes he can see how important it is to me to have another baby and that maybe he should have waited, on the other hand he did freeze some swimmers before he went and had the snip. He has agreed that as long as its only 1 more and that I then dont turn around and say 2 more, that we can look at starting IVF early next year which is more then fine with me.

    I do however know that he is doing this to make me happy, I also know that he didnt want kids in the first place but now thinks that our kids are the best thing that every happened to him (we got preg with DS1 while I was on the pill so it was a big shock to us both) part of me thinks that as he is doing it to make me happy perhaps we shouldn't but then a stronger part of me wants to do it as I dont really feel like our family is complete and I know that once we are preg he will love that child.

    Good luck with your decision


 

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