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  1. #1
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    Default Do you fight More

    Ok DP has a 4 year old son and we tend to fight a lot more when he is here.

    I know he is only 4 but he is the naughtiest boy i know tell my 7 week old to shut the hell up or he will smack him and telling us that he hates my son.

    I just get so irrated with him. I literally have to stay in my bed room the whole time he is here because i cant stand him.

    DP does pull him in to line when he does naughty stuff but if i tell him not to do something he will stop until his DP gets home and then do it in front of him and smile at me as if to say i got away with it.

    Does anyone else find this with their step children.

    I mean everytime we have him one of us usually says that the relationship is over and packing their stuff

    I he is not here everything seems to be fine

    Is it me

  2. #2
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    I'm sorry but I really feel sad for this little boy...what environment does he live in to be hearing and repeating that sort of stuff

    He sounds like he needs alot of love.

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    Noahs mum

    How do you mean that you cut contact with the son. I mean you can pm me if you want.

    This child is destroying our relationship and i have known and looked after this little boy since he was 12 months old. He started makeing me feel like this just over twelve months ago

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    I find when my DSD is here we don't really fight, but we're both always in a bad mood and get snippy with each other.

    She will scream at me and not let my kids play with their own toys. No matter how many time DP and I tell her it's not acceptable behaviour, she keeps doing it. So I totally know how you feel. I have known her since she was born and DP and I were together from when she was 6 months old. Yet she still disrespects me no matter how much I do/play/etc with her.

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    I definitely adds strain on the relationship - but I think that maybe also to do with fact that it always seems so hectic and rushed as DH not home for long and we have to cram in everything ot a few days including the children. Like Starlet, the snippiness increases and I also have the disrespect/rudeness issues with my DSS but to be honest half the time you know it coming straight from the mouth of his mother...and poor little love is obviously just really confused...its like he loves all the stuff I do with him but feels disloyal if he is seen giving me any affection or courtesy. The other thing is another sibling arriving is an emotional time for all, and I think sometimes it affects the other children more than you think...the behaviour may be a feeling of displacement and it may be something you have to ride. Most important to me is that the DSK's have their Daddy in their life and that my DD has regular contact with them...I know my DH and I can get a bit snippy but I think that is something we can in time learn to overcome. Parenting in a blended family just like any parenting I am learning is a huge learning curve and I dont think there really any right way or unfortunately easy way...

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    Pegasus is offline and all that the Lorax left here in this mess was a small pile of rocks with the one word...UNLESS
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    I'm with Mytillieroo - it definitely adds so much extra strain.

    I feel like I'm walking on eggshells when either of the DSK's are here (and not with them - but with DH).

    He agrees it's so much smoother when they are not here, but I seem to be the one that insists that he needs to keep up contact, whereas he says that because they cause him so much stress he's better if he doesn't see them....

    Not a good situation for any party....

    I hate that they are brought up in such a different homelife to what we have (without them here), but want to show them that there's another side to homelife that they could join if they just say the word. My DH says that they could choose to stay fulltime with us (totally different age to your DSS) but as they don't then they've chosen the "other lifestyle" so it's not his problem.

    I have so many conflicting emotions regarding this

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    Wow.. I feel like I know you already.

    I have the same problem with my step-son, but he is 5, and my own kids are 21 mths and 6 mths.

    When he comes here the whole family dynamics change, and I will pack my stuff and beg and wish to leave my DP at least once a week.

    It drives me crazy...
    And thanks for saying it aloud, I feel like a bad person for not wanting him to be around, and soooo lonely.

    I would love a PM, its great to know I'm not as alone as I thought.

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    Things are from the sounds the same as some of the above when my DH has his DD for a week every month my DH does 2 and 2 and its always rush rush and goes so quick and its stressful rushing about trying to do every thing we need to do (we are doing up backyard) and trying to spend couple time together and the 3 of us time together and also with his DD who we have for a week. So stress levels are high and we fight and I hate it cause he is only home for 2 weeks then gone again I just want it to be all normal well as normal as it can and I want to be able to feel as easy in my own home when we have his DD. I know she feels as ease cause we talk and stuff but its tense for me and I guess my DH x always rings and want this and that and more money and changes things all the time so we never know what we are doing and when.

  9. #9
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    Meemo is offline Those D#*n ducks are at it again!
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    I have 3 DSS, they stay with us 3 nights a week, and lucky for me they are great kids, DP and I have been together for almost 6 yrs, and have a 4yro DD, about to start ttc#2 (for me) #5(for him)

    However I had my days and still do.. DP and i do argue more when we have SS's, The stress levels just seem to sky rocket. We still have disagreements, especially when it comes to parenting, as i feel i have a say as my DD feeds off of their behaviour, (which is still for the most part good, but they are 7,almost 10 and 11)
    But if I say or do something he doesn't agree with I cop it... Then they see the way he talks to me and repeats it...
    Sometimes I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle and am ready to give up...
    And I too have those feelings where you think it'd be easier without them, as much as you love them..

    Lucky for me DPs Ex is very good though, supportive to me especially (more often than DP!), and will often talk to SS's if needed.

    I'd like to say it gets easier with time, it does in some ways, but then every few months a new issue rears it's ugly head..

    Sometimes I think you just have to hold your breath and walk away... Something I do a lot!!!

    I think it's important to remember that the children for the most part are innocent, and they usually are just repeating something they've heard, and it could be from ANYWHERE...

    One of my fave quotes is:
    Children seldom misquote you, infact they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.


 

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