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  1. #1
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    Default Emotionally drained

    Hi all - just wanted some advice from other members about coping or places out there that can give me some advice.

    My son is 5 months old now and while I don't think I am suffering depression as a direct result of adjusting to motherhood I feel like the past year has just been so horrible and I have had to deal with so much that it's all just getting the better of me.

    My pregnancy was horrible, morning sickness that barely saw me leave the toilet for three months then in my last trimester I had sciatica so bad I had to have physio two times a week as I could barely walk. My labour was almost 22 hours and during that time I was asking for drugs but couldn't have anything as I dilated really quick. After all that I had to have an emergency caesarean which left me feeling a little ripped off as I'd gone through the whole labour and couldn't deliver naturally.

    After getting home I suffered a chest infection and my son got a head cold at 2 weeks old. Then I started to bleed and cramp painfully which I knew wasn't normal a trip to the doctors and an ultrasound confirmed that I had retained product which would have to pass naturally as I couldn't have a D&C - that last for around a month and was just horrible. After that I developed mastitis and decided to stop BF'ing and felt guilty for a long time about it. After that cleared up I went to emergency with heart palpitations that made me pass out and scared the hell out of me. Turns out after investigating that I was actually pregnant again. I miscarried very early on it took a while to feel ok again. Then shortly after I was getting the steriliser out of the microwave and severely burnt my fingers which I had to have burns dressing on for weeks until the blisters on all 5 fingers went away - there are still small scars on them.

    I just feel like every woman experiences things before and after having a baby but through all of this I have tried to keep my chin up and get through it but lately while trying to work through a very troubled relationship with my partner it feels like everything is crashing down around me. He told me last night that it's all in the past and I need to 'get over it'. No point in dwelling on it. While he isn't a trained professional I felt like he wasn't offering me any kind of understanding for everything I went through - I think deep down I resent the fact he got a beautiful son out of this and I had to deal with all the hard parts alone.

    I guess I wanted him to say that I have been through so much and give me some reassurance not the blatant truth that I need to get over it.

    I just feel at the moment so negative about life and I am just ready to throw it all in and just run away (with my son - I love him so much and would never leave him or do anything to hurt him). No one seems to understand why I am feeling so low at the moment.. I probably can't put my finger on it either.

    Thanks for listening to me ranting on for so long!!

  2. #2
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    mumbron is offline Actions speak louder than words!
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    Hi you have been through alot this makes me feel sad i'm just wondering if you have any family or close friends that you could talk to or get some help from or have you tried calling the parent help line they may be able to send you in the right direction. I hope you find some help soon and start feeling better.

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    hi,

    It seems like you have been through an awful lot both emotionally and physically,i would be feeling very drained too. Places where you can get help are

    GP-talk to him about how you are feeling,maybe he/she can refer you to a counsellor.

    Child health nurse-these ladies are always good to talk to and chock full of information.

    Ring lifeline anytime you need to chat -the number is in the front of the white pages.

    Relationships Australia are a really good organisation offering counselling for a very cheap rate.I went there and highly reccommend them.

    Mothers groups-i don't know where you live but have you thought of joining one,your child health nurse or ring Playgroup Association will have details of ones in your area.

    And you can always come on here and vent.We'll listen!!

  4. #4
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    Thanks guys - I don't have the kind of relationship with family to share emotional things and I don't want friends to know that the front I put on isn't real, that life is great and I am coping just fine. Sounds silly doesn't it!

    I have seriously contemplated Relationships Australia... we actually spoke last night about perhaps accessing that service. Glad to hear that it worked for you, I am ready to give it a go. Taking DP might make him realise that I can't be like him and just not sweat the small things (I wish I could be more like that!).

    With regards to the GP - I know he'll probably put me on meds, I was on them before I fell pregnant then stopped.... I am a little hesitant to go back on them - although they'll calm the lows and make me a little more rational will they take away the highs and the immense love that I feel for DS??? I am scared that will happen and I just don't want to miss those precious moments....

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    Quote Originally Posted by sunnyflower View Post
    hi,

    It seems like you have been through an awful lot both emotionally and physically,i would be feeling very drained too. Places where you can get help are

    GP-talk to him about how you are feeling,maybe he/she can refer you to a counsellor.

    Child health nurse-these ladies are always good to talk to and chock full of information.

    Ring lifeline anytime you need to chat -the number is in the front of the white pages.

    Relationships Australia are a really good organisation offering counselling for a very cheap rate.I went there and highly reccommend them.

    Mothers groups-i don't know where you live but have you thought of joining one,your child health nurse or ring Playgroup Association will have details of ones in your area.

    And you can always come on here and vent.We'll listen!!
    Very good suggestions If your child health nurse isn't helpful, try to get into one in the next suburb (some are great, some are less so).

    Your GP can give you a referral to a psychologist so that you can get a medicare rebate for the sessions. I've just started and am finding it sooo helpful. I was feeling like you over 3 years ago, and see now that I should have been talking to a counsellor then.

    lots of

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    I don't know what meds you are on but i am on zoloft for depression and have been on them for five years.I feel very even in mood now,i am not sad all the time but it hasn't taken away any of the highs either.

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    It's so good to hear from someone who's on the med and finding it doesn't change the highs... I found that before when I was on the Zoloft that it did regulate my moods and I was much more positive but I was really scared that it would also take away that mushy, beautiful feeling I get from DS.

    DP is begging me to go on the meds - I think I might talk to the GP about going back on. I figure that it's so much better for him to grow up with a rational mum and not around screaming matches with his Dad.

    Chickadee - I am scared about going to a counsellor ... I don't know why but pouring my emotions out to a stranger just doesn't seem right.... I guess I need to give it a go.

    It's funny because EVERYONE in my life except DP sees me as this happy person who is never emotional and who doesn't really share in depth feelings... I am totally the opposite with the other half!

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    Don't be scared of going to a counsellor,they listen to people vent all day,every day.There is nothing they haven't heard!!I'ts actually good venting to a stranger
    as you tell them things you might ordinarily never tell your loved ones!!

  9. #9
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    Rachisle, being scared is pretty normal. It took me well over a year to work up the courage to ask my GP for the referral (and my GP is awesome), and then another 3 months to actually phone the psych and book an appointment.

    Sitting down and talking about everything is an incredibly hard thing to do. I had written about some of it, on here, but saying it out loud was harder again. So worth it though.

    Think of it this way - the counsellor's only interest is in helping you to heal and become the person you want and deserve to be. They have no emotional investment in you and you are not responsible for their emotional well being. If you tell your partner that you're hurting, it can hurt him a little too - he may feel that he's supposed to be able to fix it and yet have no idea what to do. But you cannot hurt the counsellor. They're impartial. And they do not judge. having someone like that to speak to can be a huge relief and help.

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    Hi guys - just wanted to say thanks for the posts and support. It's amazing how just logging and chatting can make you feel a little better!

    Have talked with DP and we've decided that I should go back on the meds - give them a go. Also to go and speak with someone, together at first and if necessary I will then go alone.

    Have good days and bad - guess we all do but the bad seem REALLY bad

    Thanks again for the support and leanding an ear


 

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