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  1. #1
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    Question Ignorance is Bliss??

    I was just talking to a friend of mine who is due to give birth in just seven weeks. I was commenting on the fact that “I’m having a baby in ___ weeks” is now rolling off her tongue and asked her how she was feeling. She responded with a clipped “fine”.

    I then went on to mention a couple of birth stories I had just finished reading which were truly inspirational and she yelled at me mid-sentence to shut-up and she didn’t want to know anything about labour. “Ignorance is bliss” she snapped. I remember at the beginning of her pregnancy she was all for 100% natural labour (personally I don’t give a toss how anyone has their baby – personal choice) but is now saying that she wants an epidural at the beginning because her husband won’t be able to cope with the drawn-out painful process. Oh I’m sorry, where I come from it’s the WOMEN who birth!

    Now, having had two relatively easy labours I am not the type of person to frighten the crud out of a friend who is nearing the end of a pregnancy and I never relay horrible birth stories anyway. I simply cannot understand how you would not want to empower yourself with information about labour – the process.

    Has anyone else decided to stick their head in the sand in relation to labour? Why?

  2. #2
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    Ah well good luck to her! I have 7-8 weeks as well lol

    I am relaxing more and more as it approaches I figured this was the best idea..My head was in the sand way back but at like 16 weeks I started to pull it out and become informed!

  3. #3
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    I didn't bother with anything such as research or antenatal class. I really didn't see the point. From my perspective, the kid comes out one way or another and I really didn't care how.

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    Yes I was much the same, I didnt want to know anything about labour. I knew nothing of the drugs available to me( i had heard about them but didnt know much) I had no idea about tears or c-sections or anything like that (once again I knew what they were but that was it) I just didnt want to know, I found it made it all much easier to cope with, as I didnt know what to expect all I knew was my baby was going to come out, and thats was enough for me!

    I did read a bit the week before but definatly not alot, or anything that was really relevant, I never went to any classes or anything and I think this made it alot less stressful, as I did it my way, I had no one / textbooks to compare too I didnt have to worry if I was different, as we all are.

    And I know if I had made up a birth plan, I wouldnt of stuck to it anyway cause I just couldnt predict how I was going to feel or what was going to be comfortable for me at the time.

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    I was a bit like that the second time, and when it actually happened, i didnt cope very well. its like i 'fought it' or something, and ended up with almost every type of intervention imaginable wit hmy next 2 births i prepared myself mentally and physically, watched and read birth stories and prepared myself for how i would cope with the pain. The result was 2 joyous, short births were i was in control of my own body and i worked with it, not against it.

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    Interesting question Deb!

    For my first, I did the antenatal classes through the hospital but that was about the only way I informed myself (aside from the terrible horror stories family and friends feel obliged to tell you )
    I also did hypnotherapy throughout the pregnancy (in preparation for labour), so was focussing more on that and how it was going to help me, rather than what was going to happen.

    For #2 I did alot of research because I had decided I really wanted a VBAC. I spoke in great length with my care provider and read up on the net as well, cause my main concern was that my previous birth was only 15mths prior. Again, we used the hypnotherapy (DH was taught how to do it), so my focus was on that.

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    I didn't want to know anything.
    When the nurses asked me what my birth plan was I said I didnt have one and had no expectations.
    Why?...Fear of the unknown. I didnt know how it was going to finish at the end of the day so I didnt want to hear about everybody elses experiences.
    I dont know in hindsight whether you would call this ignorance being blissful...merely a coping strategy.
    Lx

  8. #8
    alicesmum Guest
    Wow wow wow!!! It is so interesting how differnet we all are.

    I was the total opposite to your friend Deb!!! I, like you, do not relate to this attitude

    I neglected everything else i should have been doing whilst pregnant, and spent 9 months researching researching researching pregnancy and childbirth. I wanted to know EVERYTHING!!!! (Always have been a nerd though!).

    I wanted pictures, I wanted stories, I wanted the technical explanations and descriptions, I wanted the subjective descriptions. (I got busted by male colleagues at uni staring at pictures of childbirth on my computer!!! LOL!)

    I think I did this BECAUSE I was scared, BECAUSE I had heard so many bits and pieces about how "horrible" birth was going to be, and I don't trust hearsay!! I figured that 5 billion women had done it before me, so it has to be okay and I wanted to know how it could really truly actually be okay, given how much agony I expected to be in!

    In the end, I think all my reading and research and asking questions helped me ENORMOUSLY. I had a big-headed baby who I birthed drug-free and stitch-free. The proof was in the pudding for me!!!!!

    Good thread Deb!

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    Thanks for your honest responses.

    The fact that I don't understand her is the very reason why I posted it.

    I always wanted to know the 'in's and out's' (pardon the pun) of what I was about to go through. I just always figured that by knowing as much as I could, this would put me in a better position to make informed choices along the way ... not everyone's a planner - I can see this.

    And just like Alicesmum, I became a full on nerd and now know much of the medical terminology and physiology of the female body.

    And why on earth you would choose an epidural because your husband won't cope perplexes me greatly ... but then again - so does alot of stuff

    Thanks again

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    Wow, what an interesting thread. Deb, I'm like you and Alicesmum and currently have not less than 5 (yes FIVE) books about birth stacked by my bed, along with about another three books on various aspects of parenting.

    But sitting here reading other people's perspectives has caused me to stop and ask why I feel the need to have so much information. Many people have said to me that doing all a lot of reading and research is setting myself up to be disappointed if things don't go to plan.. and that does concern me.

    I think the answer to the 'why' question for me, I think, is because pain is not fun for any of us, and childbirth is a physiological process I've never experienced.. so I can only imagine that the birth experience could be very, very frightening. I imagine it to be the worst pain I've experienced, and I have no experience of having done it before to know that it's ok and I can do it... so being in the middle of it is potentially a scary place to be! So for me, knowing what to expect and being able to prepare myself physically and psychologically gives me a feeling of control. I think for me that's what it boils down to.

    Since my reading has given me a particular view about drugs in labour, I have the added concern that I could end up in a vulnerable place, not knowing what's normal, wanting the pain to end and being likely to succumb to the offer of pain relief so my wanting to be "in control" has extended to wanting to avoid that scenario also.

    I guess if people are happy to play it by ear and have no problem with drugs or caesareans then they probably don't feel a need to read up on the process... it's true, we are all so different!

    But I'm also dumbfounded that a woman would take an epidural for her husband's benefit. What the?


 

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