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When your partner returns...

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  • When your partner returns...

    How do you deal on the day your partner returns home? What do you expect?
    DH has been traveling more internationally lately and has and will be away for up to 6 days at a time. I don't mind I can deal fine on my own however it seems we're having some issues on the day he returns home.
    I guess my brain relaxes and I get so tiered, its the end of the line for me and I'm exhausted and tho I don't expect him to be 100 % I do expect some pitching in.
    On his end he says he's tiered and will do pretty much nothing.
    I wish I could let him just chill and do nothing but the reality is that I'm tiered and want some help from him.
    How can I make the transition smoother?

  • #2
    I leave DH on the first day back if it's international but after that it's all hands on deck. I work fulltime so my care factor for his tiredness is close to zero.


    • #3
      Domestic travel he can get stuck in and help he gets the first day back as a not having to do much day. He usually pitches in a little, just to stay awake. And then he goes to bed early.


      • #4
        When your partner returns...

        On Tuesday DH arrives home from his 12 day swing at 5.30pm. I have a 7pm flight out for work. He will have exactly 0 hours to get over his tiredness and take over.

        Unfortunately due to our hectic schedules no one really gets any transition time.


        • #5
          When your partner returns...

          My DH works away (2 weeks at a time)comes home straight off nightshift so I cut him some slack that first day or 2... Honestly he is no use to me tired so they way I see it is I'm better off cutting him a break when he gets home so he can help out the rest of his time off [emoji1]

          Just wanted to add, my DH is grumpy when tired, so every now & then I have to remind him to snap out of it cause I'm tired too, pretty much all the time (but that's a different topic!) so he sometimes he just needs to snap out of it & suck it up for the the sack of the family!
          Last edited by AmyEL; 18-07-2016, 11:07.


          • #6
            I have the same problem OP. DH works away every week but for varying amounts of time - some weeks it's all week, others only 2-3 days, and up to 2 weeks with international trips. His work travel is not only flying he often drives over 6 hours (remote farm locations) so by the time he gets home he is stuffed. He not only wants to vege in front of tv, he doesn't particularly want to go anywhere or do anything on wknds because he is sick of driving etc. And when he is 'home' he is working from home office which means I have to either keep the kids quiet or get them out of the house for the day.

            I have a friend who does the 'transition 2 days' like the PP, gives her DH 2 days to basically do what he wants then take over and give her a break. I think that only works if your DH is home for longer than a few days though, mine is only ever home 3-4 days maximum before he is gone again so giving him transition days wouldn't work. And I don't think he would actually give me the 'time off' anyway.

            Not sure what the solution is. We are just doing our best and find communication is the key. We bargain a lot with each other to get 'time out' ie one day I will go out for yoga the next day DH will go to golf, etc. We are still trying to figure out how to make it work though.


            • #7
              My DH used to work fifo, since having DS he has been looking for work at home but has had to go off a couple of times. We have n action plan of he gets home and has the night to relax bs catch up on sleep with a nappy change of two in the process, he goes to bed early and then gets up in the morning and takes over allowing me to sleep in and then we swap until he has to get up early for work and it's all me all day and he takes over about an hour or so after getting home. I'm very fortunate that he wants to be involved as much as he can be, he has always wanted a child so he loves it. I'm sure if my profession could make as much money as his he would be the stay at home dad in a heart beat.