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Baby Shower Costs

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  • Baby Shower Costs

    I'm planning on having a small get together with a group of close friends in the city for my baby shower. It will be a high tea for about 8 people.
    Who is generally expected to pay for this cost? I have currently mentioned the menus available and the prices, but I have yet to state if they need to pay or not.
    It will roughly work out to be $400 for all costs if I paid for everything; and they don't order anything on top of the menus. Based on this, what should happen?
    I do not expect gifts, just a nice time with a few friends.

  • #2
    Whenever I have been to showers at a restaurant or cafe, everyone paid their own way. I have known people to get upset about showers when you have to pay for yourself (with a present as well it's an expensive day). Despite you saying you don't want presents, guests will bring them anyway.
    I have thrown a shower for my sister at my house and spent around $300 on food decorations etc. My own shower the cost was shared between 5 friends.


    • #3
      This is just in my experience but normally the person throwing the shower fronts that cost. In saying that, I've only attended at home baby showers where the expectant mum or her friends who have organised have fronted the cost of all the food, games, prizes & drinks ect.

      I think even if you say no presents ur guests will more than likely still bring gifts.

      Of course if ur not in a financial position to pay for your high tea I'd expect ur friends would understand and all pay their own way


      • #4
        That's a tough one.
        If i were invited i'd be quite happy to be asked to pay for my 'seat', but at the same time i would find it very odd to attend without some sort of gift for you/bub.
        Is cost a factor for you, or is more just about etiquette?


        • #5
          I think it would depend on the financial state of your friends. If they are all well off then it may not be an issue. I personally hate being invited to things that it is awkward not to attend but I have to pay too much money for.

          If you want everyone to pay I would declare as soon as possible the costs and that everyone is to pay their own. Maybe just find some words to say "I don't need presents, just your presence and the fact you are paying for your own high tea is enough" something like that.

          Do you need to go to high tea or can you just go to a lovely cafe?

          I am having my second child and don't want a baby shower baby shower, and I don't need anything for baby really so understand the no presents thing, but my friends are insisting on having one for me. Therefore I am leaving it up to them what they want to do.

          If you are arranging it, unless making it very clear, the general expectation would be it was paid for unless mentioned.


          • #6
            I have recently sent out invites for my own baby shower which is also high tea at a very nice city restaurant, but for 20-25. I am paying half the base cost per person and asking the guests to pay the rest (only $20 each unless they want alcohol). It will cost me $500-$600 once I have paid the balance, for myself and bought favours for each of the guests. I have said that gifts are not necessary as it is more a chance to catch up with people together before bubs arrives. To date, the general response has been that it is a good deal to have high tea at this place for the subsidised price, and a number of people have indicated that they intend to also bring gifts.

            I think it really depends on who the people are and what their and your circumstances are. I know there are probably some people who think that my arrangement isn't good etiquette, but I think it is a good compromise. If I knew there was someone invited who was really struggling financially though I would probably offer to pay their whole cost.

            Hope this helps. with whatever you decide!!


            • #7
              Is it expensive?

              If I was invited to a baby shower high tea I would be happy to pay for myself (as long as it was a close friend/relative, which it sounds like yours are as you're only inviting 8) and wasn't to expensive. And even though you're asking for no presents to be bought, I would still buy one.


              • #8
                Thanks for the responses guys.

                The question was really more of an etiquette one. I've never actually been to a baby shower before, let alone one that wasn't held at a persons house, so I wasn't sure what was actually expected in a case like this.

                There is one person who I know who might struggle with the cost, however I will probably shout her anyway. But the pricing will roughly be between 31-62 pp depending if they wanted alcohol or not.